Open Your Eyes
by Lynnlee22
Summary: John/Kelly/Joey


"I think this may have been a bad idea, Joey," Natalie said as she stacked dishes, attempting to steady them despite the shakiness of her own hands.

"It'll be fine," Joey responded as he quickly removed a few of the plates from the top of the stack, "just remember why you're doing this. You want Liam to have a family…to have people around him that love him and care about him."

Natalie sighed and looked up at the ceiling, "yeah, you're right, I do, but have you looked into that room in there? There's enough tension in there to choke someone. I'm afraid all Liam is going to see tonight is the beginning of World War Three."

Joey smiled at her and picked up the stack of cloth napkins, "You worry too much. Tonight is going to be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"

The conversation was awkward to say the least. The majority of the meal occurred in silence with an occasional attempt at small talk. Suddenly the silence was broken by the sound of a cell phone.

Nora glanced over at Bo, who reached into his pocket, "Sorry," he muttered as he stood from the table and walked to the other room.

"Bo Buchanan," he said into the phone, secretly happy to be rescued from the awkwardness of the dinner.

"What? When? Alright..Alright. I'll be right there." He turned to return to the table, but Nora was right behind him.

"What's going on," she asked, her voiced hushed?

Bo eased her further into the living room. "Listen, I don't know all the details, but apparently one of the guys from lockup escaped tonight….went looking for some payback and found it."

Nora looked at him, her eyes concerned. "Bo, what happened," she asked? Bo glanced back at the table, "He busted into John McBain's hotel room and started shooting…Grazed John but hit the woman he was with," he said, his voice somber.

Nora was stunned, "Are you going to tell Natalie," she asked quietly? "It's a hell of a thing to tell her,"

Bo responded before grabbing his phone again, "I'm going to try to get some more details first. No sense in worrying everybody if there's nothing to worry about".

Nora looked back at Natalie. As their eyes met, Natalie knew something was wrong. She approached Nora and began to question her.

Nora glanced back at Bo who was engrossed in his conversation. "I don't really know a lot of the details," Nora said quietly, "but there was an accident tonight at John's place."

Natalie's eyes widened. She started to speak, but words wouldn't come. "Is he," she said, before her voice betrayed her again.

Nora put up her hand to stop her, "A man escaped from lockup," she said, attempting to answer the inevitable questions before they were asked, "he went over to John's looking for some sort of revenge," she said quietly, shaking her head, "He's ok. The bullet just grazed him."

Nora stopped them, considering that perhaps she had said enough.

Natalie noticed Nora's hesitation. "What else," she said, her voice strained, "What aren't you telling me Nora?"

Nora sighed, "Honey, the important thing here is that John is ok, and Bo is trying to find out some more details. Let's wait until he finishes and talk to him."

Natalie couldn't wait…not another second. "No, Nora. You know more than what you're telling me. What is it? Is it worse? Is John hurt," Natalie began to scream.

Joey stood from the table, immediately rushing to his sister's side. "Hey," he said as he touched her shoulder, "what's going on?"

Nora sighed and spoke to Joey calmly. "Some guy from escaped from lockup tonight, busted into John McBain's hotel room and started shooting," she said, making the whole sordid story as short as possible.

Joey looked down at his sister, "Oh God, Natalie," he said, his voice full of caring and concern, "is he ok?"

Natalie looked at Joey, "She says he is, but there's something else…something she's not telling me."

As the silence fell upon the three, Bo's words were becoming more forceful. "I need someone to tell me something," he said, his voice annoyed with the incompetence of the operator, "Someone has to know how she's doing. Cramer," he said with a sigh, "Kelly Cramer."

* * *

"Kelly," Natalie and Joey, said in unison, both for very different reasons.

"He was with Kelly," Natalie said, as she paced the floor, "I can't believe he was with Kelly".

Aubrey joined the group, annoyed at hearing the name she'd grown so weary of. "What is it," she asked, trying to feign concern.

Joey could barely speak. His mind felt as if it might explode. The only thing he could hear was her Bo saying her name over and over again. "Kelly Cramer," he said softly, as if saying it would make the noise in his head go away.

Aubrey looked back into the dining area and over at Cutter who cut his eyes at her as if to say, 'play the loving wife, Aubrey'. "Yes, honey," she said, sliding her hand over his shoulder, "What about Kelly"?

"She was," he paused, unable to continue, "I think she was…" Before he could finish the group heard Bo's cell phone click to close. Joey quickly closed the distance between them, "What's going on, Bo? What about Kelly? Is she hurt? What happened?"

The questions seemed to pour from him, one after another. He was unable to stop, unable to pause, unable to do anything except ask those stupid questions.

Bo put his hands on Joey's shoulders, "I'll talk to you in a minute," he said, trying to be as kind as possible, "Right now, I've got to call Dorian."

Bo turned to walk from the room, but Joey was after him in a flash. "Wait," he said, grabbing his arm and turning him around, "Bo, please, is she ok? Is Kelly ok?"

Bo just looked at him. He didn't have time..not now. "Joey, I'm sorry. I can't talk to you know. I've got to call Dorian. There's not any time to waste."

* * *

It seemed like an eternity as he stood there, watching Bo dial the numbers on the phone. "Dammit," he heard him swear, slamming the phone shut again. Looking back at Nora, he shook his head, "Nothing. No answer."

Turning his attention to Joey, he took a deep breath, "Look, Joey, it's not good. I don't want to lie to you. She took a hit…a bad one."

Joey just looked at him. Aubrey placed her hand on the small of his back. She actually felt a little sorry for him. He clearly loved this woman and it sounded as if this were really, really serious. Still, one look at Cutter, reminded her that this was no time for her humanity to get the better of her. She had a job to do.

"She's not…She's not going to…," Joey couldn't bring himself to say the words. Kelly couldn't die. She couldn't. Not with so much left to do…not with so much left unsaid.

Bo knew there was nothing else to be said, "I'm going to get to the hospital," he said quietly, retrieving his coat from the rack by the door, "Natalie, I'll be glad to give you a ride".

Natalie looked up at him, her face still showing a mix of anger and relief. "John's ok, you said, right," she asked.

Bo nodded, understanding where the conversation was headed. "No," she responded curtly, turning her back towards them, "Liam needs me here," she said softly, her voice clearly showing the emotion threatening to spill out.

Joey looked over at her. "Nat," he said, "Are you sure, you don't want to…"

"Just go," Natalie said, the anger and hurt now spilling over, "I just can't deal with it now."

Joey grabbed his jacket and headed out the door without so much as a glance towards Aubrey. Aubrey looked stunned and looked back at the table. Cutter didn't look pleased. This was not good.

* * *

"That should do it," the nurse said as she finished wrapping the gauze around John's upper arm.

"Thanks," he muttered gruffly and stood from the table. "Your papers are waiting outside," she said, smiling, "sign them and you're free to go."

John just walked out. Go? He couldn't go? Not now. Not when this was his fault. The officers at the scene had tried to help, telling him she was at the wrong place at the wrong time, but John knew better. He did this. Everything he touched ended up getting hurt. He was a mess and now he'd gone and hurt someone else.

Seeing a doctor pass by he tried to stop them, "Excuse me, Doc…Any news on Kelly Cramer," he asked?

The doctor looked at him, eyeing the bandage on his eye as well as the recently split lip. "Are you family?," he asked, his voice cold and unfeeling.

"No," John said sadly, shaking his head.

"I'm sorry," the doctor responded, though obviously not, "I can't give you any information." John slumped back into the chair, putting his head in his hands. He wasn't family. He wasn't anything. He was a man she'd tried to help and look how he'd repaid her. Leaning back in the chair, John stared up at the ceiling, "I never meant for this to happen," he whispered.

"Too bad that doesn't matter now," Joey said, he voice full of venom and rage.

John turned his head to follow the voice. "Joey," he said, standing up from the chair, "Do you have news of Kelly?," he asked concerned.

Joey clenched his fists together. "No, John. I don't. Bo is going to try and find out something. They won't tell me anything. I'm not FAMILY," he said, yelling the word towards the woman behind the counter, "but you'd better hope and pray she's ok, because I swear to God John if she's not…."

John just stared at him. "You'll what?," John said, his eyes dull, unaffected by Joey's threat, "You'll what? You'll kill me? Go ahead. Save me the trouble. I just might do it myself."

* * *

Pushing past John, Joey sat down in the straight hospital chair. John looked over at him. He had to admit, he was a mess too. "Look, Joey," he said, "I".

Joey stopped him, "Do you honestly think I want to hear anything you have to say right now? Because of you Kelly is back there somewhere? She's hurt. She could be….," his voice broke.

John spoke again, "Don't say that," he said, straightening in the chair, "Kelly is the strongest woman I know. She's not going to die."

Joey looked at John for a moment without speaking. "You wanna talk. Talk. Tell me. Tell me what happened," he said.

John shook his head, "I don't know, Joey. It all happened so fast. The door was kicked in and the shots started. I tried to get her out of the way. I did, I swear, but she was already hit. There wasn't anything I could do," he whispered, lowering his head.

Joey's eyes were filled with tears, but he willed himself to continue, "Was she conscious? Did she say anything?," he asked, trying to keep from breaking down.

John stared, reliving the moment as he held her head in his hands, trying desperately to stop the bleeding. He remembered her lips moving, as if she were trying to speak, and then the word, the single whispered word she managed, just before the EMTs arrived. "Yeah," John said sadly, looking up at Joey, "she did say one thing. She said your name."

* * *

"My name," Joey whispered. It came out in a breath, both a question and an answer.

"That's all…that's all she said," Joey demanded, nearing desperation.

"Yeah," John responded, his head still bowed, his voice still low, "She was hurt real bad. The bullet it," looking up at Joey, John stopped. He didn't need to hear this.

"What, John…What?," Joey demanded.

"It was a head wound, Joey," he said, stopping for a moment to put his hand on Joey's back. Under normal circumstances, Joey would have slapped his hand away, maybe even punched him, but at that moment, he felt as if he'd been punched himself, as if every bit of air he'd ever had was being drained out of him. John knew these moments all too well. As a cop he'd seen too many families be given this kind of news. Too many times he'd given the news himself. With wounds like this, it hardly ever ended happily. He knew it for a fact, and yet he hoped this time it would be different, for him, for Joey, and most importantly for Kelly.

Bo emerged from the hallway, looking solemn. Both men stood, waiting for news, hoping for something positive, but fearing the worst. Bo looked at Joey, "I can't get in touch with Dorian or Blair, Joey," Bo said quietly, "Do you know how to get in touch with Kevin. I need to call him and Zane."

Joey just stared at Bo blankly. "Yeah..Yeah," He reached into his wallet and pulled out a card, handing it over to Bo, he paused, "How is she?"

Bo looked at Joey. "You can go see her. If there's anything you want to say to her Joey, Now's the time to say it."

* * *

"God, Bo, Is it that bad?" John whispered as Joey walked the long hallway to find Kelly's room.

"I'm afraid so," Bo replied mournfully. "The doctors are doing everything they can. The bullet is lodged very close to her brain. They don't know how much damage has been done. They need to remove the bullet, but she's not stable enough for the surgery right now. She's lost a lot of blood. There's the risk for infection. She's just got a lot stacked against her."

John let out a deep breath of air as he felt his airs sting with the possibility of tears, "This is my fault," he said quietly.

"Come on, John," Bo said patting him on the shoulder, "Don't do this."

"Do what?," he asked, "Tell the truth. The truth is that if I hadn't asked Kelly to come back to that hotel room. If I hadn't been such a pathetic mess…if she hadn't felt like she had to look after me, Kelly would be fine right now. I would be the one in that bed. That's what it should be. That's what should have happened."

Bo shook his head, "You didn't want this to happen, John. Everyone knows that. It was an accident. There isn't anything you could have done. You had no way of knowing some lunatic was going to come busting down your door."

John shook his head, "No, I didn't, but I did know that people in my life get hurt. I should have told her to leave. I should have made her leave. She was only trying to help..and now….," he put his hand in his hands, "Now she's here."

* * *

"You need to understand something," the doctor said to Joey as they stood outside Kelly's room in the ICU. "You need to be prepared for what you're going to see in there".

Joey didn't think anything would prepare him for this. What could prepare him for facing the possibility that Kelly may never be ok again, that she might never smile at him again, that he might never hear her laugh again. There wasn't anything any doctor could say or do that would prepare him for this. Still he stood, pretending to listen, trying to keep it together, if not for the doctor, for Kelly.

"She's got a lot of bandages," the doctor said, trying to explain her condition, "We've got to try to keep as many germs away from the wound as possible. Don't touch them. They're sterile. They need to stay that way," the doctor said, making eye contact to make sure he was getting through to Joey.

Joey just nodded. The only thing he could think about was getting in to see Kelly. If this was his only chance to talk to her, he had a lot to say.

* * *

Joey slowly stepped into the room. One look at Kelly's lifeless body, and he found himself reaching to the small armchair in the corner for support. The doctor had been right, he wasn't prepared for this. There were bandages, but there also tubes, running in and out from seemingly everywhere. Strange hissing and beeping that put him on edge, and Kelly lay in the middle of it all. One of the things he loved most about her was the way she loved life. She was always into something….not always something good, but she was never boring, never still, never silent. Standing here, staring at her like this. It just didn't seem right. This wasn't Kelly. He carefully moved the small chair beside her bed, and carefully reached for her hand. Careful not to disturb the mass of cords and IVs, he gently stroked her limp hand with his thumb.

"Kelly," he whispered, "please….please." He couldn't bring himself to say the rest. He couldn't even think it. He had saved Kelly many times. He had to save her now.

* * *

Joey stared down at Kelly's hand as he held it. He had held her hand so many times, but never had he seen it so still, so lifeless. He didn't know what to do or say, but somehow…some way he had to get through to her.

"Remember all those good times we had, Kel," he said, forcing himself to smile, as he thought back to the times when life had been so much simpler, "Like when we played Truth or Dare, all those nights we talked on the roof," Joey stopped trying to collect his thoughts.

He had so many great memories with Kelly. He didn't even know where to begin. He had to think of something, Something that would bring her back to him.

As he sat, stroking her hand, he had a thought, bring his hand to her face, he gently stroked her cheek, "Do you remember Paris, Kelly? Remember the fountain and how we stood in it til we were soaked just like you and your Duke?"

Joey smiled, remembering the moment himself. If he tried he could still remember the smell of the air and the feel of the water on his skin, and the sound of Kelly's laugh. "Come on, Kelly. We've had too many good times for it to end like this. You've got to come back to me."

* * *

The sun shining in through the blinds was what woke him, he realized. It hadn't been Kelly's voice, or her touch as he'd hoped it would be. She still lay there motionless unable to move or speak. He'd sat there all night, holding her hand, talking to her, hoping she'd wake up to say something, anything…even if it was just to tell him to shut up. But she didn't.

"Kelly," Joey whispered, "Please, you've gotta give me something here. This isn't like you…to give up like this. You're too stubborn. You've got to fight this." Joey's words were cut short by the doctor.

"Sorry, but you're going to have to step outside. I've got to examine her," the doctor said, looking at Joey with compassion.

Joey just nodded and brought Kelly's hand to his lips. "I'll be right back," he whispered as he stepped outside of the room. Closing the door, he closed his eyes, looked to the ceiling and said a silent prayer. As he opened his eyes, he stopped short, "Aubrey," he said surprised.

* * *

"Yeah, Aubrey, you remember," she said, her voice curt and unfeeling, "Remember me, your wife?"

Joey ran his hand over the back of his neck. "Look Aubrey, I should have called, but Kelly is…"

Aubrey held up her hand, "Joey, it's always something with Kelly. What is it this time? She's gone a little bit further this time, huh? Chocking didn't work, so she decided to step it up a bit"?

Joey stood there staring at this woman. The woman he had married. The woman Kelly had tried so hard to warn him about. How could she be so cold? "She's been shot, Aubrey. Surely you don't honestly believe she planned this?" he said, his voice incredulous.

"Maybe not, but I wouldn't put it past her to be milking it," she snapped.

"You know what," Joey said, his patience finally gone, "Kelly has been in my life for almost as long as I can remember, and I cannot believe that I actually chose you over her," he said, realizing for the first time how stupid he had been.

Aubrey looked at him in shock, "What?" she said still stunned.

"You are selfish. You don't care about anyone or anything as long as Aubrey gets what Aubrey wants. Kelly could be dying in there. I could be saying goodbye to the woman I love and all you're thinking about is that you've been neglected? What kind of a person are you?"

Aubrey stopped for a moment to allow his words to sink in. "You love her?" she asked, looking him in the eyes, knowing he hadn't even realized he said the words himself.

There was silence for a moment. Neither of them spoke.

Joey broke the silence, "I love Kelly. I always knew it somehow, but I got distracted by you. I let her go. I let her think I didn't care…and it's all because of you," he said, his voice dripping with a mix of regret and anger.

Aubrey didn't speak. She couldn't. Her guilt was too consuming. She knew Joey was right. She'd begged Cutter to let this go, to cut their losses and look for a better mark, but he said they were too invested. They needed to see this through. Looking at Joey now, Aubrey didn't think she'd ever get that look of disgust out of her mind.

* * *

Before Aubrey had the opportunity to say anything, the door behind them opened. Seeing the doctor emerge, Joey immediately rushed over to him.

"How is she?" he asked, his voice strained, the worry evident. "Do you know anything more?"

The doctor shook his head, slowly shifting the papers on his clipboard, "I'm afraid not, sir. There are a lot of unknowns right now. The good news is that no infection seems to be present. That's very good and in times like this, it's the good news you need to hold onto." The doctor turned to walk away, but Joey stopped him.

"What can I do?" he pleaded, "there has to be something I can do. I'm just sitting there." Joey ran his hands across his face. That was the worst part of all of this, feeling so helpless. Wanting to help her, willing to do anything, but not having a clue what that something was.

The doctor gave a weak smile, "That's what you can do," he said quietly, "You sit with her. You talk to her. At this point, until she regains consciousness, there's very little we can determine about her condition. Anything you can do or say to bring her back, that's what you can do."

Joey nodded. He had been talking to Kelly all day, reminding her of all the good times they'd shared, telling her how much he wanted her to come back, but none of it had mattered. None of it had brought her back to him. What else could he do? What else could he say? Suddenly it hit him. There was one thing he hadn't said…one very important thing and that might be what would bring her back to him.

* * *

John made his way down the long hallway, looking for a familiar face. Seeing Aubrey over by the information desk, he stopped. "Hey, Is uh..Joey in there with her?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

Aubrey looked up at him, her eyes red and bloodshot. "Yeah," she said, quickly wiping her cheeks and face. Straightening her hair while she spoke, "He's probably gonna be a while, so if you're waiting to go in…"

John just shook his head. He didn't belong in there. He didn't belong anywhere really. He didn't have a family, the one he thought he could have had all been a lie. The moments that he'd spent with Kelly lately had literally been what made his life bearable, and it wasn't just about the sex, thought that was great. He enjoyed having someone that listened, someone that really listened. He hated what his life had become. Realizing he was still standing in an uncomfortable silence, he cleared his throat, " No. I don't need to be in there."

Aubrey stared back at him, "But I thought you and Kelly were…" She allowed her words to hang there, allowing John to draw his own conclusions about what she was thinking.

"No. No. We're uh…We're just friends," John said, shifting his weight and averting his eyes.

Aubrey let out a stilted laugh, "Friends, huh? I've had friends like that." Looking up at John, she tried to read his face. There was clearly sadness in his eyes, but there was also something else. Regret? Hurt? Yes, all of those emotions were there, but there was also concern. "John, If you're worried about Kelly, why don't you just go in and see her?" she asked him, putting her hand on his arm. She couldn't fix her problems, but maybe she could assist someone else in piecing back together the bits of their screwed up life.

John stood for a moment, "Maybe I will," he said as he moved towards the door, "Thanks for the talk."

Aubrey nodded and watched as John made his way towards the door. At least she'd done one good thing today.

* * *

Joey paced nervously beside Kelly's hospital bed. Glancing over at her, he cursed himself for being so stupid. Sitting down in the small chair, he gingerly grabbed her hand.

"Kelly, I'm not very good at this," he started just as he heard the door open. Looking up he saw John in the doorway.

John looked at the floor, then at Kelly, then back at Joey. "Sorry to interrupt," he said in a low voice, "I just wanted to…I wanted to see…" He stopped. There were no words for what he saw. He had no idea it would be like this. He knew she'd been shot. He knew it was bad, after all he was a cop, he'd seen these types of injuries before, but seeing Kelly like this, even he didn't expect it to affect him like this.

Joey stood from the chair making quick work of the distance between the two men. "You wanted to what, John? What did you want to do now? Haven't you done enough?" The words came out in a rush. All the fear, regret, and hurt he'd been holding inside was now coming out as anger and it was being directed at John.

John took a breath. 'Don't overreact. He's hurting,' he told himself as he silently forced the muscles in his body that had immediately tensed to relax. "Joey," he said, stepping back from him, "look, I just came in here to see Kelly. I didn't want to make things worse."

Feeling as if his head might explode, Joey laughed, "You didn't want to make things worse? How could things possibly get worse? You're the one who put her here! If it wasn't for you and your stupid revenge theories, Kelly wouldn't be here right now."

John couldn't take it anymore. "Look," he said, lowering his voice when he realized the sheer volume in which he spoke, "you might want to rethink the direction you're going here."

"Oh, I want to rethink it? I want to? No. I think I'm just calling it like I see it," Joey said, the words spilling out of his mouth before his brain had any chance of editing them. "The way I see it, you used Kelly to get back at my sister and now she's here."

John had heard enough. He had been blaming himself sure, but hearing someone else, especially someone like Joey Buchanan blaming him, he couldn't handle it. "If there's anyone to blame for Kelly being here Joey, it's you."

* * *

"You've got some nerve, McBain," Joey spat, trying desperately to keep his voice lowered. Pushing John toward the door, he gestured into the hallway, "Kelly doesn't need this right now."

John stepped through the open door with Joey following quickly behind him. "You know, I get that you're hurting here, Joey," John said, in an attempt to calm the situation. "But I'm not the one that put Kelly here. You are."

"Where in the hell do you get.." Joey began, but was interrupted by John's voice speaking louder than his own.

"Do you have any idea what you've put her through?" John demanded, "Yeah, it's real easy for you to blame me, say that I took advantage of a vulnerable woman, but tell me Joey…Why was she so vulnerable?"

Joey didn't say anything. He couldn't. John's words felt like a slap across the face. He was right. He had driven Kelly right into his arms.

John continued, realizing he was finally getting through to him, "You hurt her. You hurt her more than you even know. You married Aubrey even after she'd told you how she felt, so yeah, she came to me. I needed someone and so did she."

Shaking his head, Joey countered, "But you couldn't just be there for her. You couldn't just listen to her. You had to sleep with her, because that's the only means of communication you know, right?"

"It's not any of your business what Kelly and I did," John spat angrily, "What's important is that if you'd been there for her in the first place, she wouldn't have been looking for anyone else. You're looking for someone to blame here and I get it. I really do, but before you go throwing around accusations, maybe you'd better go take a good look in the mirror.

John stopped then, staring at Joey for a long moment, "Now, I'm going to go in there for a minute. There's a few things I want to say."

Joey didn't stop him. He really didn't even want to. He needed some time to think….some time to think about what he'd done.

* * *

John stepped into the room, trying hard not to notice all the bandages and tubes. It all looked so somber, so serious…not at all like the brief relationship he'd had with Kelly. Sitting on the edge of the chair by her bed, he sat in silence, not knowing what to say or even what to do.

Slowly reaching up to brush a stray lock of hair away from her eye John whispered, "I'm sorry, Kelly. I'm really sorry this happened to you. You didn't deserve this. You are too good for this….too good for me."

He stopped then, thinking back to the conversation they had in his hotel room just weeks earlier. She had just wanted to help him. Maybe now he could help her. "If it means anything, I tried to talk to that idiot you're so hung up on. I think I may have finally gotten through to him. No promises though," he said with a smile.

John leaned over and gently kissed her forehead, a sharp contrast to the affections they'd shared in the past, "You hang in there," he said quietly as he left the room.

As John closed the door behind him, he made eye contact with Joey, "She's all yours," he said quietly and slowly made his way back down the hall.

* * *

Joey slowly made his way back into the hospital room, softly closing the door behind him. Each time he stepped in the room, he hoped he'd see Kelly staring back at him, but each time he saw the same thing. Kelly—his Kelly—just lying there, fighting for her life. Moving to regain his place by her bed, Joey once again took her limp hand in his.

"I'm here, Kel," he whispered softly. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you ever again. I don't know how I let things get so messed up, but I'm gonna fix them. I promise you…I am. I just need you to wake up. I need you to give me a chance to make this right." He sat, staring at her face, hoping, praying for something. A smile, a twitch, anything that would prove that she could hear him…that he was getting through to her, but there was nothing.

"You know, not too long ago, I had a conversation with your friend, Rex," he began again, stroking her hand gently with his fingers, "I still can't believe you kissed that guy," he said, managing a weak laugh.

"I was trying so hard to figure out what was going on with you and Rex gave me some really good advice. He told me to open my eyes and I'd figure it out, and that's what I need you to do now. I need you to open those beautiful eyes, so I can tell you what I should have told you a long time ago. " Joey could no longer hold back the tears. They fell slowly down his cheek as he held Kelly's hand to his face. It was difficult to believe that just a weeks ago, Kelly was pouring her heart out to him in a storage room. "How could I have been so stupid?" he whispered, as still more tears traced a path down his tear stained face.

* * *

"You're not going to make this easy for me are you?" Joey whispered softly, running his fingers down the side of the small portion of her face that wasn't covered by bandages.

"Then again, nothing has ever been easy for us has it? I was telling you earlier about that night in Paris, reminding you about all the great times we had together, but something else happened in Paris. I made you a promise. Do you remember that? I promised you that I'd love you forever."

Joey stopped then as his voice betrayed him. After taking a shaky breath, he forced himself to continue. Kelly needed to hear this. She deserved to hear this and he needed to tell her. "I kept that promise Kelly. I haven't always shown it in the right way, and I haven't always said the right things, but not a day has gone by that I haven't loved you," he said, the words now coming out in a rush. I love you so much, Kelly and I'm just sorry it's taken me so long to say that to you."

Joey stopped, looking at her again. Still nothing, no response, no movement. His heart sank. He didn't know what else he could do. Telling her the way he felt had been his last hope, the only thing he could think of that might be enough to bring her back. Not able to look at her lifeless body any longer, Joey retreated to the small window in the corner of the room. Staring out into the night sky, he allowed the tears to flow freely.

"I'm sorry," he sobbed, "I'm so, so sorry".

The noise was soft at first—so soft in fact, that he almost thought he had imagined it. Yet when he turned around Kelly's eyes had fluttered open. She was clearly trying to speak, though her lips and mouth were dry and cracked.

Stubborn as ever she continued, "No more sorry," she barely whispered and, with a weak smile, she added, "the pie.."

Joey smiled then too. She was here and she remembered. "Yes," he said, through tears and laughter, "I remember the pie." As he softly stroked her face, he took another breath, "I've got to get the doctor in here to look at you, ok?"

Joey pushed the call button on the side of the bed, but thought better of it and stood to go find someone in the bustling hallway. As he stood, Kelly weakly reached for his hand, "Wait," she whispered.

"What?" Joey asked hurriedly, the concern evident on his face. She had seemed ok just moments ago. If something was wrong, he didn't know if he could handle it now.

* * *

He was back at her side in seconds, stroking her hair, trying desperately to make whatever this was go away.

Before any explanations could be given, the door opened and the doctor walked in.

"She just woke up," Joey explained, moving back only as much as absolutely necessary so the doctor could conduct his preliminary examinations. "That's good, right?" he asked hopefully. It had to be good. Regaining consciousness was a huge step. The doctor had made that clear, but he had also said that after she woke up they would be able to tell more about her condition. The waiting and wondering was killing him, but he had to keep it together. He had to be strong—for Kelly.

Joey watched as the doctor shone a small pen light in Kelly's eyes, tested reflexes, and asked a few simple questions. If only he knew exactly what they were looking for. As soon as the doctor stepped away from the bed, Joey started to ask questions.

The doctor smiled kindly, "Let's step outside for a moment."

Joey's heart sank. What did he have to tell him that he couldn't say in front of Kelly? He'd seen her wake up. She knew him. She remembered him and she remembered things that had happened between them. Wasn't that good? Wasn't that enough? Joey reluctantly followed the doctor outside in the hallway, hoping against hope that his fear was unfounded.

* * *

"So, how is she?", Joey began before even shutting the door behind him.

"Look, Mr. Buchanan, your friend is awake and that is a very, very good sign, but with injuries like these, it is very hard to determine exactly what the internal damage is. We will need to do surgery at some point to remove the bullet and we should know more at that stage. At this point, we simply don't know what part of the brain received the most damage. I'm afraid the best we can do is wait and see how she does." The doctor checked Joey's face for reaction. This was never easy news to deliver and it was generally not very well received.

Friend…Kelly was a hell of a lot more than a friend to Joey, but now wasn't the time to correct him. Right now his biggest concern, his only concern, was that Kelly was ok.

"So, she might be fine?" Joey questioned, his voice stressed. He was desperate to find hope in the doctor's words.

"Anything is possible at this stage, but I want you to understand that it is possible that your friend will experience some difficulties doing things that would seem simple to you and I," he explained.

"I don't understand." Joey shook his head. He heard the doctor's words and logically they made sense, but he was talking about the woman he loved. He couldn't understand these things when he was talking about her.

"I mean she could experience problems with her memory. She might forget things…simple things like names, faces, things she did. She might not like the same things she used to. Her personality could be different. Any number of things could be altered with an injury like this." The doctor tried to be kind and patient. These injuries could be devastating and it didn't take a genius to figure out the woman in the room was much more than a friend to this man.

"But..But…she talked to me. She knew me," Joey protested. "She made reference to a conversation we had just a few weeks ago. She remembers…" His desperation was spilling out without any regard for an audience.

"And that's good," the doctor explained calmly, "but just because she remembered you five minutes ago, doesn't mean she'll remember when you walk back in the room." The look on Joey's face told him that the news was hitting him far harder than he was letting on. "Listen, " the doctor said, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, "I'm not trying to scare you or make you worry any more than you clearly already are. I just want you to be prepared for what could happen. I don't want you walking into this with expectations that are too high. Right now, go back in there. Be with her. Talk with her. That's the best thing you can do right now. " With those words the doctor walked away, leaving Joey to ponder his advice.

* * *

Joey stood outside the door looking in through the small window into the room. She was awake. She was talking and she seemed fine. He couldn't believe that it could all change in moments. For now, he realized, he had to get back in there. He had to be with her.

Kelly slowly turned her head towards the door as she heard it opening, "Hi," she said softly as Joey made his way over to the bed.

Joey leaned over and kissed her forehead. "Hi yourself," he said quietly. "You gave me quite a scare, you know that?" He couldn't stop touching her. He needed her to know how much he'd missed her.

"Before…I…" Kelly whispered…

"Shhh…" Joey said, still softly stroking her hair. "You don't have to try and talk right now. You can just rest. I'll be right here when you wake up. We'll have plenty of time for talking then."

"No…now," Kelly protested. "I want to say this now…" She took a shaky breath and licked her lips, desperately trying to restore the moisture they were so desperately lacking. " I heard what you said."

"You heard what?" Joey asked, perplexed by her response.

" Everything. I wanted to say…so bad, but I…" She was so weak and still so tired.

"Kelly..Kelly, just relax," Joey said, "This can wait. It can. I'm not going anywhere. You're exhausted. You've been through a terrible thing and you need to rest."

"I need to say this," she whispered, "I want you to know….I love you too."

For a moment, everything fell silent as Joey stared into her eyes. They were weak, but he could see that spark in them. She knew. She'd heard him. He had been able to get through to her. He had brought her back. "I'm so glad you're back," he said softly, leaning over her as she finally allowed her eyes to close.

* * *

"Anyone to blame it's you…Anyone to blame it's you..Anyone to blame it's you…" Joey awoke with a startle as the words John said to him echoed through his head. Rubbing his face with his hands, Joey looked up at Kelly's sleeping face.

"She's fine," he said softly, "She's fine and that's all that matters."

Hearing Joey's voice, Kelly stirred, "Hmmmm…Joey? Did you say something?"

Joey smiled. He never realized how much he loved the sound of her voice. He never realized how much he loved a lot of things until he had to face the fact that he could lose all of them. "Sorry, I woke you," he said, leaning over to give her a soft kiss on the cheek. "The doctor was in earlier. He took a quick look and said you're doing great. He even mentioned maybe letting you get out of here in a few days. I know you're gonna miss this place."

Kelly smiled, "Oh yeah," she softly laughed, looking over at Joey.

"And actually, that's something I want to talk to you about….When they let you out of here. I mean I think we should talk about what…We should talk about if you." Joey let out a deep sigh. This was going to be much more difficult than he thought.

Kelly smiled again, "What is it? What's the matter?" she asked, now a little concerned.

"Nothing is wrong. It's just that, I realized when you were unconscious how much I needed you in my life and we've just been wasting time with the wrong people." Joey paused, checking Kelly's face for a sign of a reaction. "Kelly, I thought maybe when they let you out of here, you could come home….home with me."

* * *

"Kelly, Did you hear what I said?" Joey asked after a few moments of silence passed.

Kelly just nodded, "yeah," she whispered softly, "it's just…what about Aubrey?"

Joey reached up to touch her face, "That's over. It was a mistake. It never should have happened. I was looking for something I already had and I'm just sorry it took something like this to make me realize what I already had…what was already right in front of me the whole time." Joey stroked her hair as he gazed into her eyes, trying to determine what affect, if any his words were having on her.

"Are you sure?" Kelly asked, her voice a little shaky. These were words she'd been wanting to hear since she'd come back to town, but now that she was hearing them, it all seemed to good to be true. " I mean…I don't want you to feel like you have to do that because I need you or because…"

Joey softly placed his fingertips on her lips to silence her, "The only reason I'm doing this is because I finally realized how much I need you in my life," he said, never once looking away from her face. "We have wasted too much time already and I don't want to waste another second without you." Reaching up to softly brush a her hair away from her face, he smiled, "So, what do you think? You think we can make this work?"

Kelly couldn't stop the tears from falling, but for the first time in a long time, they weren't from sadness. These, at last were happy tears.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Kelly asked as she looked back toward the road that Joey should have turned on. She'd agreed to come home with Joey, but she assumed they'd be staying the Buchanan mansion.

"Just wait," Joey said with a smile as he continued to drive. He knew Kelly expected to stay with his father, but he had to admit, he was being selfish. He wanted Kelly to spend time with him and only him and there was no shortage of drama in the Buchanan household.

"We're not..um," Kelly stopped. Surely he wouldn't take her to the Palace…not after he stayed there with Aubrey.

Joey glanced over at Kelly and immediately knew what she was thinking, "Don't worry, we're not going to the Palace," he said with a smile.

Kelly smiled too. It was amazing how he knew what she was thinking without her even having to say it. She'd missed that…the connection they shared. The way they could simply sit and silence and know exactly what the other was thinking or feeling.

As she began to feel the car slow, she shifted her attention to the road, "What did you do?" she asked with a smile.

Joey stopped the car and quickly made his way to her side to help her out, "I wanted us to have a place…a place of our own, so I got us one."

Kelly could barely speak. She never imagined anything like this. The house itself was modest, though beautiful; it was the simple idea that Joey had done this for them. This house was theirs. They had a chance to start a life right here within those walls, and that made her happier than any words could express.

Joey watched her face as the myriad of emotions played about it. "You happy?" he asked, as tears stung his eyes.

Kelly smiled back at him, her eyes glistening with tears, "Happy doesn't even begin to describe it," she said before reaching up and softly brushing her lips against his.

* * *

Carefully easing his arm out from under Kelly's sleeping body, Joey slid out of bed. He pulled the covers up over her and softly kissed her forehead. Stopping for a moment to stare at her, he simply couldn't believe how lucky he was. Life had given him another chance…it had given them both another chance and he wasn't about to screw this up.

The last week had been nothing short of magical. Being here with Kelly…talking with her…laughing with her…her simple presence had made him happier than he ever imagined he'd be. Holding her in his arms at night was torture in a sense as everything in him ached for more, but for now, it was more than enough to have her close to him. He knew she was safe and she was here with him. The rest could wait.

He carefully eased toward the door but the creak of the door hinge alerted Kelly to his presence. Her eyes fluttered open and her lips curled into a small smile at the mere sight of him, "Hey, what are you doing up so early?" she whispered quietly?

Joey returned to her side of the bed as she shifted her legs to make a place for him, "I was going to go downstairs and see about some breakfast," he said, planting a quick kiss on her cheek, "Sorry I woke you."

"Don't be," she smiled, "I'm glad I'm awake. It means I get to spend more time with you."

Joey smiled. The ease between them had returned almost immediately. He and Aubrey never had that. It was so simple with Kelly…so much fun. "You know what," he said with a smile, "Why don't we go out for breakfast?"

Kelly sat up, "Ok," she said, "It would be nice to get out a little." She'd been cooped up in a hospital for days and she'd been spending most of her days in bed here. Sure they'd told her to take it easy, but she felt stronger and she was ready to rejoin the world.

"Why don't I jump in the shower while you get dressed?" Joey said as he stood from the bed and went to grab a towel from the laundry closet just outside the bedroom door.

Kelly nodded and smiled. Hearing the bathroom door close, she stood and started to walk towards the closet. Suddenly the room spun and she clutched the side of the nightstand for support. Easing herself back onto the bed, she placed her hand to her forehead, "Maybe I stood up to fast," she whispered, slowly attempting to rise again. Gingerly taking a few more steps she nodded, "Must be," she said and continued to dress for her breakfast.

* * *

"Are you actually going to eat some of that?" Joey asked, after watching Kelly push the food on the plate from one place to another countless times.

"I *am* eating," Kelly said with a small smile, "I'm just…I don't know. I'm a little tired I guess." She looked up at Joey. He'd been doing everything in his power to make her happy and she couldn't even sit through a breakfast for him. "I'm sorry," she whispered, looking back down at the plate.

"Hey," he responded softly, reaching over to grab her hands, "You don't have anything to be sorry for. You've been through a lot, Kel. You've got a right to be tired." He brought her hands up to his lips and softly kissed them, "You ok?" he asked her.

She smiled back at him, "I'm fine. Just a little wiped I guess, would it be ok, I mean…would you mind if we cut this short? Could we just go home?"

He smiled, "Home? It has a nice ring to it doesn't it?" Standing from the booth and walking over to put her arm around her, he whispered "Sounds good to me."

As Joey wrapped his arms around Kelly, she allowed her face to relax. She hoped Joey was right. That this was all normal…just a result of everything she'd been through, but she was worried…she just hoped she didn't have a reason to be.

* * *

Joey folder the paper and placed it back on the coffee table in front of him. Glancing at his watch, he looked towards the bedroom. It had been a few hours since Kelly had gone to take a nap and he hadn't heard any signs of movement since. Though he hated to bother her, he was a little worried. She hadn't seemed herself at breakfast and he just wanted to make sure everything was ok. The doctor had warned that she could experience some problems and, to be honest, he was worried she would try to protect him by not telling him.

Easing towards the bedroom, he glanced into the partially opened door.

Kelly sat on the side of the bed, her elbows propped on her knees, her head in her hands. She'd been in the same position for more than a few minutes, willing the sad excuse for a breakfast to stay down and begging the room to stop spinning.

"Hey," Joey said, walking into the room and approaching her with great concern, "What's wrong?"

Startled to hear his voice, Kelly immediately straightened, "Oh nothing," she said, feigning a small smile, "I'm just getting ready to get up and come find you," she said, leaning in for a kiss.

Joey backed away, "Wait," he said, softly, "Something's wrong with you. I want you tell me so I can help you." He placed his hand on her back as a gesture of support. He didn't know what else to do. He hadn't felt this helpless since the hospital and he thought all of that was behind them.

Kelly looked over at Joey. He was concerned. She could see that, "It's nothing, really," she said, trying to convince herself as much as him. As she moved to stand from the bed, a wave of dizziness hit her. She gripped the headboard for support as Joey grabbed her arm.

Helping her sit back on the bed, Joey softly rubbed circles on her back, "Take it easy," he whispered, "You ok?"

Kelly nodded, still unable to get her bearings enough to convince him with words.

Joey knew something was wrong and now he was even more certain. "Tell me what's going on Kelly. I'm here. I'm right here. "

Kelly looked up at him, her eyes filling with tears, "I'm scared," she whispered before burying her head in chest and allowing the tears to flow freely.

* * *

Joey carefully pulled the soft throw cover over her legs as he reached to hand her a cup of tea. "Here," he said, "Drink this."

Kelly smiled at him, "Thanks," she whispered, taking a small sip. "You don't have to do all this." She felt terrible. She hated feeling dependent. "You sure you don't want to change your mind about all this?" she said only half joking. "I'm not exactly the same woman you fell in love with," she sighed.

Joey sat on the couch beside her, pulling her into his arms, "You listen to me," he whispered, his lips pressing against her temple softly, "I would never change my mind. I love you and whatever this is, we'll fix it…together. I just need you to talk to me. I can't help you if I don't know what's going on," he told her, running his fingers through her hair.

Kelly nodded. "I don't really know what's going on," she sighed. "I'm just so tired. I don't want to eat. I don't want to do anything. I just feel useless. I'm dizzy and I just feel off." Kelly stopped….even she was sick of hearing herself. She knew Joey had to be.

Joey's hands were softly rubbing her shoulders, "Has this been going on since you came home from the hospital?" he asked turning to look into her eyes. He'd been there with her every day and every night and he hadn't noticed anything. After his conversation with the doctor, he'd been extra careful to watch her for signs of trouble, but Kelly had seemed fine. Hadn't she? Surely he would have noticed if there had been a problem.

"No," Kelly admitted, her voice acknowledging her own confusion, "it's just started. That's what is so strange. I just don't get it. I thought I'd be getting better. I should be getting better," she said in frustration.

"It may just take some time," he said, trying to reassure her, "but just to be safe, I think we should go back to the hospital."

Kelly immediately protested, "Joey, No. I don't want to go back there."

Joey carefully turned her face towards his, "Do this for me, please. If it's nothing and this is all just a normal part of the recovery, you can stop worrying and we can keep living our lives…together."

Kelly sighed. "And if it's not…" she asked, the concern in her voice evident.

"If it's not…we'll deal with that too. Whatever it is….I'm right by your side. I'll be right there with you…no matter what."

* * *

"I hate waiting," Kelly sighed as she sat in the small on the exam table in the hospital room.

"I know," Joey said, putting his arm around and kissing her temple, "Hopefully they'll be able to tell us something soon."

"They took enough blood," Kelly scoffed, "they should know something. I think they tested for everything possible. If they can't tell something from all of that….I must be hopeless."

"You're not hopeless," she said with a smile. "You're gonna be just fine."

Just then the exam door swung open. A young doctor appeared.

"Ms. Cramer, we've got your results," he said as he glanced over to Joey.

Joey looked over at Kelly and grasped her hand. "Did you find anything?" Joey asked, trying not to sound as concerned as he was.

"We think we know what is causing your symptoms," the doctor responded, directing his response to Kelly. "But," he said turning his attention to Joey, "I'm afraid I'm going to need you to step outside."

"No," Kelly said, tightening her grip on Joey's hand, "I want him to stay. Anything you need to say, you can say in front of him."

Joey brought her hand to his lips and softly kissed it.

"So," she said, looking at the doctor, "What did you find?"

* * *

The doctor nodded in agreement, "The good news is that there's no indication of any infection based on these results," he said, glancing up at Kelly and Joey, "With injuries such as the one you sustained, that's always our major concern."

Kelly let out a sigh of relief, "So these symptoms might just be normal then, right? Just a part of the recovery?" she asked her voice hopeful. Maybe Joey was right… maybe she was worrying a little too much and expecting too much of herself too soon.

"Yes and no," the doctor responded in a manner that didn't exactly reassure either of them. "Your symptoms are not indicative of any infection or of any complication from your accident, but there is something else we need to discuss."

Joey looked over at Kelly. Her eyes were full of worry and he could tell the doctor's words were weighing heavily on her. He tried to reassure her the only way he knew how. He gripped her hand and pulled her body in closer to his.

"Ok," Kelly responded, trying to calm her shaky voice, "What is it?"

"Ms. Cramer, your symptoms are perfectly normal and your recovery is progressing exactly as it should be and that's excellent news considering your condition."

"What condition?" Joey asked, growing tired of the stalling.

"Congratulations, Ms. Cramer," the doctor began, "you're pregnant."

* * *

For a brief moment, Joey's heart soared. He'd always dreamed he and Kelly would be together and start a family, but for it to happen now was so amazing, so miraculous.

Then—in an instant—reality dawned. He and Kelly were together and she was pregnant, but this wasn't their miracle…this wasn't their child. Looking over at Kelly, he couldn't find any words to say.

The doctor, clearly sensing the awkwardness of the moment, reached over to touch Kelly's shoulder. "I'm going to give you two some time," he said softly, "I'll leave your discharge papers out here at the desk. You'll want to make an appointment with an obstetrician soon." And just like that, he was gone, leaving Kelly and Joey alone in the room.

"Joey, I…" she started. Unsure of what was coming next.

Joey stopped her, "Come on," he said, helping her off the table, "we need to get you home. You need to rest."

"But," Kelly protested.

"Kelly," Joey said, his eyes glistening with the possibility of tears, "Not here ok? Let's just go home."

Looking at her standing there, he could see she was barely holding it together. Her eyes glistened with tears. The expression on her face wasn't one of joy, yet it wasn't one of sadness either. It was one of utter exhaustion and total confusion. Though he was confused and hurt himself, he could stand to see her this way. She was going through hell and he knew it. Joey carefully wrapped his arm around her shoulders. He couldn't be angry with her, and honestly… he wasn't. He was angry at himself. He was angry at the situation, but more than anything, he was angry at John McBain.

* * *

The drive home had been in silence. When they arrived at the house, insisted she lie down on the couch and rest while he unpacked a few of the remaining boxes. After what seemed like hours, Joey returned to the living room, and finally broke the silence.

"Do you need anything?" he asked her, trying not to sound as annoyed as he felt.

He was distancing himself from her. She could hear it in his voice. They had a chance—a real chance, but this…this was more than she could expect anyone..even Joey to deal with. Kelly couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Her shoulders shook with sobs that seemed to overtake her and she couldn't will them to stop.

Joey was at her side in seconds, trying to comfort her. "It's ok, Kel. Don't cry. Please don't cry," he said as he gently stroked her arm.

"I can't help it," she managed between sobs, "I can't stand this. You hate me," she cried, barely able to make eye contact with him.

"I don't hate you," he said quickly. "I could never ever hate you. I love you, Kelly. This is…I just. I…"

"I know," she said, finally maintaining a little control. "I had no idea. I don't know what to do. This is my fault."

Joey hated that…that she blamed herself. This wasn't her fault. "Stop it," he said, "this isn't your fault. John knew you were hurting and he took advantage of it. He should have never."

Stopping him before he could go any further, Kelly said, "No. Joey, John didn't force me to do anything. We made a choice. We made a mistake."

"You made a baby," Joey spat, far more angrily than he meant to. Seeing the hurt in Kelly's eyes, he immediately tried to retract the comment, "Kelly, I'm sorry. That wasn't. I didn't mean to…"

"No…No…You're right. We made a baby. This is our baby and we've got to deal with that. I guess that's what I need, Joey. I need to know if you're still in this with me. You said you were beside me no matter what. Have you changed your mind? Can you still be with me after this?".

* * *

Joey sat for a moment. A million things raced through his head. He loved Kelly. Of that, he was certain. Being here in this house with her this past week had been like a dream for him and in the hospital for that brief moment, he had believed they were going to be a family. Looking up at Kelly, he knew he needed to say something.

"I love you," he said softly. "I know that for sure. I want to be with you. I want to live in this house with you. I want to have babies with you. I want that baby to be mine," he said sadly.

Kelly lowered her head, feeling her eyes sting with the tears that were sure to come. "I know, Joey. I do too, but you and I both know that this baby is John's and we can't just pretend that it's not."

"I know," he sighed. "You know, before Jen, I didn't even realize how much I wanted a family. After what happened with her, I knew I wanted children. I wanted to be a father."

Kelly wiped her face, brushing away the tears, "You'll be a great father," she whispered.

"I want that so much, Kelly," he said, "And, I know that it's about more than biology," he said, as he looked up at her, "I want to be this baby's father."

"Joey," Kelly began…

Joey reached for her hand, "Wait. Let me finish. I know that John is the baby's biological father and I know he has rights, but I love you and I want to be with you and that's got to mean something too."

Kelly nodded. It did mean something. It meant more than Joey would ever know.

"This isn't just John's baby. This is your baby too, and anything that is a part of you is important to me," he said, smiling at her. "I can't promise you it will be easy, or that it will be perfect, or that it will even make sense all the time, but I can promise that I'll be here. I can promise you that I won't leave."

Kelly smiled as she felt Joey's arms reach around her. "There's just one more thing," she said softly.

Joey pulled back to look at her face, "What's that?" he asked, as he pushed her hair behind her ear.

"I've got to tell John," she said.

* * *

"You sure you wanna do that so soon?" Joey asked her. He knew John had to be told and he wasn't trying to insinuate otherwise, but Kelly was exhausted and he knew she'd like some time to deal with it herself, and if he was being honest, so would he.

"I don't see the point in waiting," she said, as she looked at the papers the doctor had given her, "He has a right to know and I have to be the one to tell him," she said with a sigh. "I just hope he takes it ok. I mean with everything that happened with Liam…."

"If he knows what's good for him, he'll take it ok," Joey said, standing and beginning to pace, "It's bad enough that he almost got you killed. He has no right to try and blame you for anything. If anyone is to blame…"

"Joey," Kelly said with a warning tone, "John and I are adults. Nobody made anybody else do anything. You know that."

Joey shook his head. He did know that…that may be what was driving him crazier than anything. The thought of John McBain with Kelly made his skin crawl and the thought of him forever being in their lives made him literally sick, but if that was the price he had to pay to be with Kelly, well, it was something he'd have to learn to deal with.

"Do you want me to take you to his place?" he asked her, barely able to manage the words.

"No, Actually, I think I'll call him and ask him to come here," she replied quietly as she immediately caught the disturbed look on Joey's face.

"You really think that's a good idea?" he said, as he imagined John McBain sitting in his living room as Kelly…his Kelly…told him he was going to be a father.

"I think it would be better. There are too many ears around at John's and I'd prefer this not be on Access Llanview by tomorrow morning," she said, actually managing a small laugh.

Joey had to smile at that. He knew just what she meant. If Roxy caught wind of this, the whole town would know in a matter of hours…maybe even minutes.

"Whatever you want," he said, handing her the phone.

* * *

John sat on the sofa of the small motel room, staring into an almost empty bottle of beer. After everything that happened with Kelly, he'd tried to make a little deal with himself. No hard liquor before five, but that was fast becoming a rule he was willing to compromise.

Glancing down at his watch, he sighed. 3:30…"Oh well," he sighed, "in another time zone," he muttered as he pulled a bottle from the cabinet and poured himself a shot. As he felt the familiar burn race down his throat, he cringed a little, and paused only a moment before pouring another.

The ringing of the phone in the other room caught his attention just as the shot glass was almost on his lips. Clearly annoyed, he sat the glass down hard on the counter and picked up his cell, "McBain," he growled rather than said into the mouthpiece.

"John," Kelly said softly, unsure if she should even continue after a greeting like that.

John stopped short. "Kelly," he breathed, "It's….It's good to hear your voice. I've been checking on you. I heard you were out of the hospital, and I was going to call. It's just….I didn't know if…With Joey and…"

Kelly stopped him then, sensing the awkwardness of his situation, "It's okay John, really. Actually, that's why I called. I'd like to see you."

Stunned, he barely managed a response, "You want to see me?"

"Yeah, I thought maybe you could come out to our new place…Joey and I have a little place."

John grabbed a small slip of paper and scribbled down the address. "Yeah…Uh huh..I know where that is. Ok. Yeah, I'll be there in a bit," he said as he folded the paper and placed it in his pocket. Slowly closing the phone, John sat back down on the small couch. He was really confused now.

* * *

"He said he'll be there in a bit," Kelly sighed, as she handed the phone back to Joey and watched him place it on the coffee table. "At least I won't have to worry about this much longer."

Joey could tell this wasn't that simple. Placing a gentle hand on her knee, he asked, "Are you ok? We've been talking so much about what I want and what you're going to tell John that I really haven't asked you what you think about all this."

Kelly took in a deep breath. She hadn't really thought about it herself. "Honestly, I didn't know if I'd ever have another chance at having a child. After everything with Kevin and then with Zane being away at school, I thought maybe this was it for me. But now, I have a chance to start over…I want this baby to have a good life, Joey. I want him or her to have a stable, happy family."

Joey nodded. "Sounds nice," he smiled, "You'll be a good Mom, Kelly…and I promise I'll do everything I can to be a good Da…." Joey stopped himself there. He wasn't the Dad. He wasn't the father. He wasn't the stepfather. He wasn't anything.

Sensing what he was thinking, Kelly reached out grabbing his hand, "You'll be great," she responded smiling. "This baby will be so lucky to have you in their life….just like I am."

Joey leaned in to kiss her forehead and stiffened slightly when he heard the familiar ring of the doorbell.

Sitting up a little more, Kelly straightened, "Well, this is it," she whispered, "If you'll let him in. I need to do this myself if you don't mind." She didn't want Joey to feel excluded, but at the same time, this was going to be difficult enough without the potential drama between Joey and John.

Joey nodded and walked towards the door. Forcing his muscles to relax, he opened the door and stepped aside to allow John to walk in.

* * *

John eyed Joey suspiciously as he watched him leave the room. "Something I said," he quipped as he walked over to Kelly and leaned to give her a slightly awkward hug.

Kelly smiled. If things were awkward now, they were only going downhill from here. "He's fine," she reassured him before adding, "He's just giving us some time to talk. I asked him to."

"Ah," John sighed as he nodded. He understood now. This was the polite brush off. The part where Kelly told him she was vulnerable and hurt and he'd been her rebound, but that it was over and it never should've happened….as if he didn't know that. "Kelly, look," he began.

"John, No, please….there's something I need to tell you," she started, forcing herself to speak before her fear got the better of her.

John shook his head, "I already know. I know you think that you have to explain something to me. That you have to apologize for this, but we both know what we were. We both know why this happened," he explained, trying not to make things any more tense and awkward than they had to be. "I'm a big boy. I don't need you to spell it out for me. You're with Joey. You want to be with Joey. I get it."

Kelly lowered her head. He didn't get it. He didn't have a clue. "No," she whispered, her voice cracking slightly, "there's more to it than that," she managed, her voice barely above a whisper.

Sensing the seriousness in her tone, John reached out his hand, softly touching her cheek, "Kelly, what is it? What's wrong?" He slowly lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eyes. One look and he knew this was something big….something far more than a rejection speech.

"I don't know how to tell you this," Kelly whispered.

Reaching out for her hand, John took it. She was shaking. What could possibly be going on that had her so upset. "Kelly, what's going on?"

Inhaling sharply, Kelly straightened. She had to do this. She had to tell him. Waiting wouldn't make it any easier. Nothing would. "I'm pregnant, John….with your baby."

* * *

She put her hand on his shoulder after a moment. "John…Are you going to say anything?" He had just sat there, saying nothing for what seemed like forever.

Her touch broke the mad rush of thoughts whirling through his brain and, as he looked over at her, another wave of thoughts overtook him. "I need some air," he managed, standing and walking towards the door, "Excuse me for a minute."

Stepping outside the door, John took a deep breath, "Pregnant," he sighed, shaking his head and rubbing his face with his hands. After everything that had happened, now Kelly was pregnant. He needed to think. He needed to figure out something to say, but the only thing he could think of was Liam and the baby he lost with Marty and the fact that Kelly was with Joey and a million other things that didn't help in the slightest.

He sighed deeply again and turned towards the large tree in the front. He stepped back slightly when his eyes met Joey's gaze.

"What are you doing out here?" Joey asked, his voice slightly accusatory. "I thought you and Kelly needed to talk."

"We did talk," John explained, "I needed some air."

Laughing slightly, Joey muttered, "I bet you did. I guess she told you."

"Yeah," he said, shaking his head and looking at the ground. "She told me." As he foot traced a path in the dirt, a thought occurred to him. "Um…look, I don't mean to sound…"

"What?" Joey asked, wondering what John could possibly have to say.

"Well, I just…I mean…couldn't this baby be yours?" It seemed logical to him. Kelly and Joey were living together now. They loved each other. Kelly even told him they spent the night together in the storage room. Maybe more happened there than she admitted.

"Not that it's any of your business," Joey spat, "but no, the baby isn't mine. It can't be." Joey averted his eyes. Seeing that John was still questioning he continued. "Kelly and I…We haven't…"

John eyed him incredulously, "Seriously? At all?"

Turning in disgust, "Oh give it a rest McBain, the woman was shot."

"Well, yeah, but still," John countered, smiling a bit, "She's…"

"Our relationship is about more than that," Joey bellowed, "It isn't anything like what you wanted with her. I actually care about her. I'm not using her for…."

"Stop it!" Both men turned towards the door to see Kelly standing there.

* * *

"Seriously?" she said, looking from one man to another. "This is what you're out here doing? With everything that's going on and you're out here having some kind of pissing contest?"

John spoke first, "I'm sorry I walked out like that. I just…this is. It's a lot," he admitted, looking Kelly in the eyes. "I'm just not really sure what I'm supposed to say here. I'm not even really sure what you want me to say."

Kelly nodded. She wasn't even sure what she wanted him to say, but she knew it wasn't this. She didn't need this. None of them did. They'd had enough drama in their lives to last them a lifetime, but now there was another life to think about—a baby and they had to try and work something out for the baby.

"Are you gonna stop this now?" she asked, her voice more than slightly irritated as she looked at Joey and then at John.

Joey sighed. She was right. This wasn't helping. He held out his hand towards John, "Truce?" he managed through gritted teeth.

Not able to stifle the small laugh, John responded in kind, talking his hand and shaking it, "Truce."

Kelly nodded. "Thank you…both of you. Now, why don't the three of us go inside and try to figure this out?" Stepping aside she allowed the two men to step into the living room, as she placed on hand on her still flat stomach, "This should be something to see," she muttered softly.

* * *

John watched, a little disgusted, as Joey sat down beside Kelly, taking her hand in his.

"You gonna mark her next?" he asked, glaring at him.

Kelly's face kept Joey from responding and prompted a quick apology from John. With a sigh, she began "Look, I know this isn't anything that any of us had planned, but it happened, and we've got to find a way to deal with it," Kelly glanced at the two men and noticed them glaring at each other, "CIVILLY," she continued.

"Why don't we just make this easy," Joey spoke up, "Kelly and I love each other. We want to have a life together. I want to raise this baby with her," he continued.

"Wait..Wait…Wait," John said, loudly, standing before Joey could continue, "What exactly are you trying to say here? You think I'm going to come over here and listen to you tell me that you're going to lay claim to my baby?"

Joey stood as well…"That's not what I said," he responded, trying to remain calm, looking down at Kelly who shot him a warning glance. "I just said I wanted to raise this baby with Kelly. I mean, let's face it McBain…you weren't exactly in this relationship for the long haul. I mean…a couple of rolls in the hay and you got what you wanted."

John stood still for only a moment. He turned to Kelly, "I'm really sorry," he said before allowing his fist to make contact with Joey's jaw.

* * *

"Joey?" Kelly said, softly touching his face. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he told her, reaching his hand up to wipe away the blood off his split lip. Looking over at John he sneered, "You're making a really good case for yourself. Real Father of the Year material there."

"Would you shut up," John said, moving towards him again.

"How about both of you shut up?" Kelly countered, stepping inbetween the two men.

"I'm sorry, Kel, but I just can't stand here and let him act like he's some upstanding role model and that he would be a better father than me. He and I both know that he walked out on his kid and left my sister…."

John took another step towards Joey. Natalie and Liam were a sore subject for him and Joey knew this all too well, "Your sister lied to me…and I didn't walk out on my kid. I walked away to let another man raise his own kid. Something you might want to think about…by the way."

"I'm not like you," Joey spat back. "I don't walk out on my responsibilities."

Before John could respond, both men were distracted by the sound of fumbling and the sight of Kelly's knees buckling beneath her.

"Kelly!" Joey said, concerned kneeling beside her.

John was right behind him, taking the other side, gently helping Joey ease her onto the couch, "Come on, Kelly," he said softly.

Kelly's eyes fluttered as the two men kept careful watch over her.

"You ok?" Joey asked feeling bad for the part he and John had played in this latest incident.

"I'm trying to be," she said, looking back and forth between the two men. "It's not exactly easy to keep things low stress with the two of you nearly coming to blows every few minutes."

John nodded, "You're right….I'm sorry." He truly was ashamed of himself. If anything had happened to Kelly, and if he had anything to do with it, even indirectly, he'd never forgive himself.

"I'm sorry, Kel" Joey whispered, stroking her face. As much as John irritated him, he loved Kelly more and because of that, he had to learn to deal with John. "So," he said, shifting his attention towards John, "How are we going to make this work?"

* * *

The moments seemed to crawl as the awkward silence set in. Finally John, unable to take the uncomfortable moments any longer began, "This will be easier once…uh…the uh..baby is, you know…out"

"Ya think," Joey said with a small smirk. Then, remembering his promise to 'play nice', he added, "you're right…right now we probably just need to figure out what we're going to do about the appointments and all that."

"You' really think we've got to get into all that now?" John said, raising his eyebrows. Leave it to Joey to be obsessive.

"You can both come," Kelly said, softly, trying desperately to be the voice of reason. "John, you're this baby's father and I want you to be as involved as you want to be, but I need you to understand that I love Joey and that he will be a big part of this baby's life simply because he's a big part of my life."

John nodded, before clearing his throat, "Look, for what it's worth, I don't think you're a bad guy, "he said, looking over at Joey, "It's just that…this is kind of my third strike with kids and I don't want to lose this chance."

Joey looked at John. This was odd….sincerity? Honesty? Humanity? What did he do with this John? He'd never met him before. "I can understand that," he said, extending the proverbial olive branch.

"So then, it's settled," John said, "we'll uh…share it…the pregnancy, I mean."

Joey looked over at Kelly and noted the small smile on her face. He had to smile a little too. This was, by far, one of the strangest conversations he'd ever had, "It's settled" he said as he reached out and shook John's hand.

* * *

"You're sure you feel ok to do this?" Joey asked, sliding in the passenger seat.

Kelly sighed. "You heard the doctor. He said I'm cleared to drive and that there are no further restrictions. What? You don't feel safe with me driving?" she asked with a playful grin.

"I never feel safe when you're driving" Joey responded, kidding her back, "but I'm just making sure. Just because you're cleared to drive doesn't mean you have to….I just wanted to make sure you're feeling up to it."

"I'm fine. I am better than fine actually I'm great. I am so ready to get behind the wheel…and be independent. It is so horrible feeling like you're dependent on someone all the time…feeling like a burden."

"Hey," he said, gently touching her arm, "You were never a burden."

"I know," she responded softly, "I just mean, it will be nice not to have to ask you to take me everywhere. If I want to go somewhere and you're not around or if you're busy, I can just get in the car and go." Kelly smiled as she started the car. She'd missed this. She never imagined she'd miss something so simple, but it was the little things.

"Where exactly do you want to go?" he inquired, curious as to what her response would be.

"Oh, no where in particular," she said casually, "I just mean if there was somewhere I wanted to go, now I don't have to bother you to take me. That's nice…it will be a nice switch."

Joey looked over at her. She was talking about John's. Ever since she'd told him about the baby, she'd been going over to see him so that he could feel "involved". He'd come to see her too of course, but Kelly felt like she should make an effort as well. "Is this about John?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

Kelly looked over at him, "Why do you think that?" She sighed, "I mean, yeah, it will be nice to be able to drive myself to John's because, honestly, I know you have better things to do with your time than chaperone my visits with John, but that's not the only reason I'm glad to have my freedom back."

Joey forced a small smile. He desperately wanted to believe her, and he did. Most of the time.

* * *

John absentmindedly flipped the channels on the small tv set. Nothing. He had hoped Kelly would stop by this evening, but so far she hadn't. She and Joey were probably spending the evening together, he thought. He was glad she was happy, but he missed the days when he had someone to be happy with. For a little while, he thought maybe that someone could have been Kelly, but that wasn't meant to be.

Hearing a knock at the door, John's mood immediately brightened. Maybe she was coming after all. Standing and quickly flipping the channel to some animal program, John quickly made his way to the door. "Hey," he said, as he door opened.

"Hi," Joey answered, noting the look of surprise on John's face. "What's the matter? Not who you were expecting?"

"Uh..Joey. No, it's just that…well, you don't normally stop by. Is Kelly with you?," then fearing the worst, he added, "Is Kelly okay? Did something happen to her? The baby?"

"No..No..Kelly and the baby are fine," Joey said quickly. "I just thought I'd stop by. I wanted to talk to you about Kelly and the baby…man to man."

"O-Kay," John said, slightly hesitant, "Come on in I guess. Does uh, Kelly know you're here?"

Joey shook his head, "No, she doesn't, and I'd rather you didn't tell her, if you don't mind. She's out with some friends tonight and I just thought this would be a good time for us to talk."

John gestured to the couch, "Alright, well that's fine with me. You wanna talk? We'll talk? So, tell me…what exactly do you wanna talk to me about?"

Joey sat on the couch and moved uncomfortably, "About Kelly actually…about your visits with Kelly."

"What about them?," John asked, interested that Joey was bringing up the subject. If he didn't know better, he'd swear Joey was jealous of the time he and Kelly were spending together.

"I just…I was wondering…what exactly you and Kelly do when she's over here? I mean…she's pregnant and there's only so much baby stuff you can talk about, so what exactly do you…."

"Joey," John interrupted, "If you've got something to say, say it…"

"Are you sleeping with her, John?" Joey yelled, rather than asked. Taking a deep breath he composed himself. "I mean, are you trying to sleep with her again, because I need to know. I just need to know what I'm up against here. If that's what you're trying to do….the least you could do is be honest with me….at least be man enough to tell me."

John stared at him for a moment, and then, mainly because he couldn't stop himself, he started to laugh.

* * *

"So this is funny to you?" Joey huffed, standing up and turning his back on John.

John fought to regain control. "No," he said stoically, "this is not funny…definitely not funny. It is many things, but funny is not one of them."

Joey turned around. "Enough with the riddles, John. Just answer the damn question. Are you trying to sleep with Kelly?"

John sighed. "Have you noticed that she's pregnant?" he asked, staring at Joey. "That's really not my thing, you know? And honestly, that's kind of how we got ourselves into this situation, so I think Kelly and I are done with that."

Joey let out a sigh, "Alright. That's what I wanted to know." He turned and moved to walk towards the door, but John's outstretched arm stopped him.

"Wait, you need to understand one more thing." John looked directly at Joey, making sure that he understood how serious he was. "You can think anything you want about me in regards to your sister, but make no mistake about it. I didn't use Kelly. I care about her. I don't want anything bad to happen to her. I don't want her hurt. I don't want that baby hurt. I'm gonna be a good father to that baby and I'm going to be involved. As long as you understand that, we don't have a problem."

Joey started to speak, but John wasn't finished.

"Like I said, as long as you understand that, we don't have a problem, but if you hurt her…If you ever hurt her, like you did before, you'll answer to me." With those words, John walked toward the door and opened it, an obvious gesture to Joey that their talk was over. "This was nice," John said, looking over his shoulder at Joey, "Let's do it again sometime."

* * *

Joey pulled into the driveway, thankful to see Kelly's car wasn't there. 'At least I beat her home' he thought, stepping out the car and heading towards the door. As he walked in and settled into the oversized chair in the corner, he tried to process his conversation with John.

On one hand, it had been productive. He had gotten the answer he needed, and more importantly he had the answer he wanted. John was not trying to sleep with Kelly. At least that's what he said, but Joey actually believed him this time. The disturbing part was that John actually seemed to care about Kelly.

Believing that John used her for sex wasn't exactly as pleasant thought, as he hated to think of Kelly being treated that way by anyone, but the thought of John McBain actually having genuine feelings for her? Well, that might actually bother him more.

His train of thoughts was interrupted by the sound of Kelly's keys in the door. He stood to meet her.

"Hey," he said, greeting her with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, "How was your first night out?"

Kelly smiled, "It was good. We had fun. It was nice to be out among the living again. What about you? What did you do?"

Joey smiled back. He wasn't about to tell her that he went over to John's and grilled him about their relationship, "Not much, just kind of stayed around the house," he lied. He hated lying to her, but he was fairly certain he would have hated explaining why he went to John's more.

"Well, I'm glad to be home," she said with a sigh, "I'm exhausted, and actually I think I'm going to head to bed." She turned to walk towards the bedroom. Looking back at Joey, she asked "Are you going to come to bed?"

"I'll be there in a minute," he said with a smile, "Get the covers warm for me." He needed a few more minutes to think about his conversation with John.

* * *

Kelly rolled over, reaching out over the cool covers where Joey's body usually lay. Finding nothing, she forced her eyes open. No Joey. She sat up. Where would he be so early?

Softly padding down the hallway, she spotted him, sitting at the table, his head propped in his hands, sipping coffee and looking like hell.

"Hey," she whispered, slipping up behind him, "Did you sleep?"

Startled slightly by her sudden appearance, Joey responded, "Oh..sorry…I just couldn't get comfortable this morning. I didn't want to wake you with all my tossing and turning." He leaned back to give her a quick kiss on the cheek. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I just missed you beside me," she said with a smile. "Joey, is everything ok?" Something was off and it had been off since she got home last night. Joey had come to bed late and, unlike their usual routine of snuggling, he had kissed her and turned over to fall asleep. She'd racked her brain, wondering if she'd done something or said something to upset him, but she came up empty.

"Did I do something?" she asked, looking at him earnestly.

Joey turned to face her, "No," he said taking her hands, "You didn't do anything. I just…" He had to tell her. Keeping this from her was driving him crazy and it had only been one night. "I went to see John last night."

Kelly sighed, "Why did you do that?" Her voice was a mix of annoyance and exasperation. John and Joey were never a good mix and when they were alone without a buffer, anything could happen. "Did you two get into it again?" she asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Actually no," Joey admitted. "It was fairly civil. We talked….got a few things straight."

"Oh God, Like what? What did you say Joey?" Kelly covered her face. She honestly thought things might be ok between the three of them and now this.

"I asked him what you two did when you went over there," he said.

Joey immediately saw Kelly's facial expression change. This was no longer a conversation he wanted to be having, "Look, Kelly, I didn't think anything was going on, but I needed to know what was going on with him. What he was thinking…what he wanted from you. I needed to know if he had in his mind that the two of you were going to have this baby and become some happy family."

Kelly felt her anger dissipate slightly. She could understand where Joey was coming from. She and John had been spending a decent amount of time together and it had to be difficult for him. "Joey," she said softly, taking his hand, "I love you and I know you know that. I need you trust me. John and I are friends and right now we have something between us that we can't ignore. I have to be around him. It's the only fair thing to do. He wants to be involved and I want him to be." She looked up at Joey and saw that he seemed to be listening. "If the tables were turned, wouldn't you want the same thing?"

Joey nodded. She was right. "Okay," he said, leaning in for a kiss. "You're right." Joey smiled, as he gently put his arms around Kelly. She clearly wanted to be with him, and that would have to be enough.

* * *

Kelly knocked on John's motel room door and waited shifting the weight of the paper bag from one side to the other. She leaned in closer, trying to decide if she heard movement. Yes, she thought, he was definitely home.

"Kelly," John said with a smile, as he opened the door, "I'm surprised to see you this morning."

"Well, I figured I should stop by," she replied, "Joey told me he came by the other night, so I brought a peace offering of sorts." She gestured to the bag in her hand. "Can I come in?"

"Of course," John said, stepping aside so she could walk past him, "Here let me get that." He took the paper bag and glanced inside, chuckling as he saw the contents.

"Funny," he smirked.

"Aww…come on. It's only fun if I can play too," she said, smiling as he pulled a bag of pretzels and a six pack of root beer from the bag.

"Okay..Okay," John relented. Smiling, he asked, "Do you need a glass or can you chug it straight from the bottle?"

"Just the bottle," Kelly responded, laughing as John popped the cap off with the edge of the table. "You're pretty good at that," she commented.

"See, I'll be able to teach this kid something," John said with a smile, before his face turned serious.

Kelly noticed the change in his demeanor. She knew her pregnancy had come as a shock to him. It had been a shock to her too, but John had taken it better than she expected…better than she'd hoped and she hadn't told him how much she'd appreciated that. "John," she started, "I really want you to know how much I appreciate everything you've been doing. The way you've been the past few weeks, how kind you've been, and how much you've been trying with Joey. I know this isn't the easiest of situations."

John nodded, "I never wanted to mess up your life, Kelly" he said, looking up at her. "I messed up my own life enough, but I never wanted to cause you any trouble. "

"You didn't mess up my life," Kelly said softly, "this baby…" she stopped for a moment, thinking about what she was going to say, "this baby is the best thing that's happened to me in a long, long time."

Slightly shocked, John blinked hard, "You'll be a really good Mom," he said softly, "and Joey…he'll be good…he'll be good with the kid."

"John." Kelly stood and walked over to where John sat, propped up against the desk in the corner, "you are this baby's father. No one is taking that away from you. Not now..not ever. You are going to be a wonderful father."

John looked up at her. "You really think so?" he said, his voice faltering a bit with the emotions of the moment.

"I know so," she said, reaching up to touch his shoulder.

"Thanks," John said softly.

Kelly watched as John stood awkwardly in front of her. He didn't know what to do. Could he kiss her on the cheek? Could he hug her? Was that overstepping?

Kelly reached out and put her arms around him, making the choice for him. She smiled as she felt him relax in her arms. John McBain was not as tough as everyone thought.

* * *

"So, how are you?" John asked as he munched on a pretzel.

Kelly took a sip of the root beer and swallowed, "I'm good. I feel good. A little tired, but otherwise good. You know, some of the normal stuff, but nothing out of the ordinary."

John nodded. He wasn't sure he knew what the normal stuff was, but he knew enough not to ask for the details. If Kelly thought he needed to know, she would have told him. "Have you had a doctor's appointment yet?"

"No, actually, that's another reason I stopped by," she admitted, sitting the cool bottle on the table in front of her. "I have my first appointment tomorrow morning. They are going to do an ultrasound…you can't see anything much at this point, but they can pinpoint exactly how far along I am and give me some sort of due date."

John nodded, "Joey's going with you?," he said, resigned. He just assumed these visits would be Joey's domain.

"Yeah, he's going, but I want you there too," Kelly responded, checking John's face to see how the news was going over.

Shocked, John replied, "Really? I mean, I'd like that…I just…I didn't think you'd…he'd…"

"I'd really like you to be there," Kelly repeated.

"That would be great," John said, smiling at her. "I'd like that a lot."

* * *

"We're going to be late," Joey said, as he checked his watch for the sixth time, "Didn't you tell him to be here on time?"

Kelly sighed. "He will be here, Joey. Besides, the appointment isn't even for another fifteen minutes. We have plenty of time."

"Can't you just call him? I'd just like to know that he's at least on his way," he protested.

"Okay," she said, with a slightly exhausted smile, "I'll call". She flipped open her phone and began to dial. Joey noticed her eyes flicker in recognition as John picked up. "Hey John, Yeah…we're right outside the office waiting on you. Oh…Oh…ok…ok. Bye." Closing the phone, she placed it in her purse and raised her head to begin to speak.

"So he's not coming, huh? I figured as much," Joey started, "He pretends to be so interested, yet he can't even make time to come to the first doctor's appoint. What was the excuse? Had a little too much last night or this morning maybe?"

"Uh, Joey. He's already in the office," Kelly said smiling.

Joey swore he actually felt his face burn, "Oh…well…we better get in there then," he stammered, holding the door for Kelly to enter.

Kelly smiled. This was going to be a long nine months.

* * *

Kelly sat on the exam table, pulling at the thin, rather pathetic excuse for a gown she'd been given. She glanced over at Joey and John, both of whom looked like they were about to pass out.

"You know," she said, trying to lighten the mood, "I'm the one who is really meant to be uncomfortable."

Joey looked up at her. "I'm fine," he said, with a fake smile, "this is the most fun I've had in weeks." He cut his eyes over at John.

Kelly shot him a warning glance.

"Why don't I just go?," John said, moving towards the door.

"John," Kelly said, looking at Joey, her eyes wide.

"John, wait, " Joey said, moving towards him, "Don't go. Kelly wants you to be here and…..and you deserve to be here. This is your kid. You have a right to be here."

Looking back at Joey, he moved back towards the exam table, "Thanks," he mumbled.

Just then the door opened and the doctor came in. "Well, hello," he said, smiling at the three of them, "Looks like we have a pretty full room today."

Kelly smiled, "Dr. Whitman, this is my boyfriend, Joey and this," she gestured to John, "is John. He's the baby's father."

Dr. Whitman just nodded.

Joey started to say something and stopped himself. There really wasn't anything to say. Kelly had summed it up, and even though he hated the way it all sounded, it was the truth. The very unfortunate truth.

"Is everyone ready for the show?" Dr Whitman asked as he readied his equipment.

"Ready," Kelly said as she leaned back on the exam table.

* * *

As a small image began to materialize on the screen Dr. Whitman looked over at Kelly, "The nurse explained that we wouldn't be able to see much today, right? In fact, it's not uncommon for us not to even be able to pick up the heartbeat if we're looking at a very early pregnancy."

Kelly nodded. "I know. She told me."

John paced up and down the length of the bed. He hadn't stopped worrying about this appointment since Kelly told him about it. After everything that happened with Marty and then with Liam, he'd thought he wasn't meant to have children. Now, he had this….and he was so desperate for everything to go right.

"Would you please be still?" Joey whispered. "You're making me dizzy."

John looked over at him, noting he didn't look much better. "Sorry," he responded, "I'm just nervous."

"Me too," Joey sighed.

Kelly smiled, "Thanks for the support guys," she giggled but was stopped short by the image on the screen.

Not a sound was heard as the three of them stared at the blurry image flickering on the screen.

"Is that…" John began.

Dr. Whitman smiled. This was his favorite part of the job. Labor and delivery was great, but this, the first moment when it really became real….this was the moment that he really looked forward to. "Yes," he smiled, "that's your baby."

* * *

"Why don't I go get the car?" Joey said as the three walked out of the doctor's office. "I had to park pretty far away, and it's starting to rain."

Kelly just nodded, still not really able to do anything except stare at the little black and white photo in her hand.

Watching Joey jog out into the parking lot, she looked back at John, noticing that he was staring that the picture too.

"Hey," she said softly, touching his arm, "You ok?"

"Me? Yeah," he said, clearing his throat, in an attempt to banish the lump from his throat, "This was just…it was…really…really something." He smiled at her. "Thank you for letting me come here with you."

"Sure," she responded smiling. Then, holding out the small sonogram photo, she said, "Here. I want you to have this."

"No, Kelly. I couldn't take that," John said, protesting.

"No, take it. I'm sure they'll do more sonograms and I can get another one to keep for myself. This one should be for you." She noticed he was beginning to protest again and continued. "Listen…the next time you start to get down on yourself and you start to think that your life is all screwed up, I want you to look at this and remember that this little boy or girl is gonna think you are amazing. He or she will love you more than anything in the world, so you've got to keep it together."

John nodded, blinking to try and conceal the tears that were trying to form. "You better go, I see Joey pulling up," he said, leaning in to give her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Ok," she said, "You remember what I said. You're a good man, John McBain."

* * *

"You're awful quiet," Kelly said, looking over at Joey after several more minutes had passed during their car ride home

Joey glanced over at her and smiled, "Am I? Sorry. I don't mean to be. I'm just thinking I guess".

"Oh yeah, thinking about what?" Kelly hadn't missed the fact that Joey had been very easygoing about this entire situation lately and she wondered if he was taking it as well as he seemed to be. Surely he had to be upset over the fact that she was carrying John's baby, yet he had seemed to be, well…almost ok with it. "You know, Joey. If something's bothering you…I want you to talk to me."

Joey glanced over at her again. "It's nothing, really." They pulled into the driveway and both climbed out the car.

As they made their way up to the driveway, Kelly stopped him by gently tugging his elbow back, "That doesn't look like a nothing face," she said softly.

"Just forget it," Joey said, a little more harshly than he intended, then seeing Kelly's face fall, he responded, "Sorry. I don't know where that came from"

"Really?" she asked as she walked in and sat down on the couch, gesturing for him to sit beside her. "I have a pretty good guess where it came from. I'm betting it came from the fact that you just got an up close and personal view of the baby I made with John McBain. Does that about cover it?"

Joey just stared at her, "What do you want me to say Kelly? You want me to say that it drives me crazy that you and John are having this baby? Fine, I'll say it. I hate the fact that the baby is John's. I hate that the two of you slept together, but you know what I hate more than that?" He looked over at Kelly. "I hate that you don't hate that it's John's baby."

* * *

"You're not even going to say anything?" Joey asked, looking at Kelly's bewildered expression.

"I'm not sure what to say," she said, looking up at Joey, "I mean you think I'm happy to be having John's baby and I don't know what to say to that."

"The expected response would be to tell me that I'm wrong," he said sarcastically. He knew how this must sound to Kelly. He sounded petty and jealous and all the things he swore he wouldn't be, but he couldn't help it. It was driving him crazy watching John swoon over their new baby while he stood on the outside as the 'boyfriend'.

"I….I can't tell you that," she said, lowering her eyes. "I guess, in some ways you're right," she said softly.

Joey started to stand and walk away. This was not what he was expecting to hear. In fact, this was his worst nightmare.

"No, Joey…wait," she said, stopping him with her touch, "Not like that. Let me finish. John and I…we have an understanding. I know what kind of person he is and if I know one thing about him, it's this. It literally almost killed him when he found out that Liam wasn't his son. Natalie sleeping with Brody hurt him, but knowing that Liam was Brody's little boy…that hurt John more than anything. John wanted to be a father so badly."

Joey slowly sat back down, trying to listen with a semi-open mind.

"I know that John will be a good father. I know what it means to him, and I guess if I'm pregnant and it isn't with your baby, I am glad it's with John's. He cares about me and I care about him and I know we both will love this baby."

Joey nodded, clasping Kelly's hand, "I get that, Kel. I really do. I guess the only question left is the big one. Does the love you have for that baby….Does it….Does that love transfer to John?"

Kelly looked at him. "Are you asking me if I love John McBain?"

"It's a simple question," he said, looking at her. "It just needs a simple answer."

* * *

"I do not love John McBain," Kelly said, looking Joey straight in the eyes, "I love you. John and I are friends. We care about each other. We got each other through a really rough time and we're going to be in each other's lives forever, but we are not in love. You are the one I am in love with and you are the one I want to be with."

Joey leaned towards her and softly kissed her cheek, "I love you too. Sorry I keep going all crazy on you. I guess today in the doctor's office…I was…you know what…nevermind. It's not important. We're together. That's all that matters."

Kelly shook her head and softly touched Joey's face, "No. If something is bothering you, I need to know. If I don't know, there's nothing I can do to fix it."

Joey sighed. "It was just, you're the baby's mother and John is the baby's father and I'm…I'm the boyfriend. I feel like some high school crush. I mean, I know this is new and that technically that is what I am, but I just feel like you're more than that to me. There's just not a word for what we are."

Kelly nodded, considering Joey's point, but didn't have time to respond, as she saw Joey's eyes widen.

"Actually," he said, smiling, "I know what can take care of that situation completely."

Kelly smiled at him, "Well, there's a mood changer," she laughed, "What do you have up your sleeve."

"Let's get married," Joey said, as he watched Kelly's eyes widen in surprise.

* * *

Joey smiled as he watched Kelly's face as she processed the news. "We can't do it right away," he said running his hand through her hair, "but the divorce will final soon…Aubrey isn't fighting it. You and I will be free to do whatever we want."

"You want to get married?" Kelly asked, shocked. It wasn't that she didn't plan on marrying Joey. It was just that this was all so new—and this proposal was so sudden.

"Why not?" Joey asked, smiling at her. "I love you. I want to be with you. You're going to have a baby. We could be a family."

"Joey, I…" she stopped for a moment, trying to think of a way to express herself without hurting him. "I want to marry you…more than anything. It's just….I'm afraid we'd be doing it for the wrong reasons."

Joey just stared at her. "I love you and you love me. Those are all the reasons we need. Nothing else is important."

Kelly looked down at her hands, clasped tightly in Joey's. "Joey…is this about John?"

Joey dropped her hands, "Why would you bring him up? I just asked you to marry me and you're asking me about John?!"

"No, it's just that….this all came up so fast, and I can't help but wonder if you're trying to send some sort of message to John," she said softly, desperately trying not to make him any more upset than he already was.

"If you knew how sick I was of hearing that man's name," he said, standing from the couch and turning his back to her, "If I never heard it again, that would be good with me."

"Well, you know what. That's not going to happen. This baby is John's…and I know that's a name you don't want to hear, but you know what Joey? You have to hear it. You have to understand this. John is going to be a part of this baby's life, which means he is going to be a part of my life, which means he is going to be a part of our life…and if you can't handle that…. If you're already having second thoughts, you need to tell me now." Kelly's voice cracked with emotion. She steadied herself by grasping the couch arm, but could feel her arm shaking with stress.

Joey just stood there for a moment trying to think of a way to respond. "I'm going to go take a drive," he said quietly. "Will you be ok here?"

"Joey," Kelly said, feeling tears begin to fall.

"If you need me, I'll have my cell," he said as he walked towards the door.

"Joey, please," Kelly said, walking slowly behind him.

Putting his hands up as she tried to grab them, Joey pulled away, "Don't….Kelly. I'll be back. I promise….but I need to think…."

As the door shut behind him, Kelly listened hoping he'd change his mind and come back. As she heard the car start, her tears fell faster. Joey was slipping away and she didn't know of a thing she could do about it.

* * *

Kelly sat quietly on the couch, trying to calm herself. This wasn't good for her or the baby and she knew it. After all, Joey was just taking a drive. He was just going to think. He'd be back. He promised. Hearing a car pull up outside, she quickly stood and wiped her eyes, "Thank God," she said aloud.

Quickly she made her way to the front door and swung it open. "John," she breathed rather than said.

"Hey," he said, immediately noticing her tear stained face. "Sorry to just drop by without calling, but I kind of wanted to surprise you," he said, handing her a small gift bag. "I got you something."

Kelly forced a smile, "You didn't have to do that," she said, as she gestured for him to come inside. She moved the tissue paper aside and pulled out a small frame that contained the small sonogram photo she'd seen earlier that day. "John," she said, feeling the familiar tears returning, "I gave this to you."

"I scanned a copy," John said with a smile. "I wanted you to have it too. We both have a habit of getting down on ourselves, so I kind of thought you might need it to."

Kelly couldn't stop the tears, "Thank you," she said, wiping her face.

"Kelly," John said, handing her a tissue from the desk across the room. "What's wrong?"

"Must just be the hormones," she said, desperately trying to cover.

"Right…you know, I've told my share of lies…so much so that I can spot one from a mile away," he said, looking at her with concern. "Why don't you tell me what's really going on?"

Kelly looked at him, drawing in a shaky breath, "He left, John." Collapsing into his arms, she sobbed, "Joey left."

* * *

"What do you mean he left?" John asked, feeling the anger building in him. Joey loved her. He knew he did. It didn't make sense that he would walk out on her…especially now.

"We got in a fight," Kelly said, still sobbing, "And he left. He just left, and I'm so worried."

"Wait…Wait…calm down," John said softly, walking her over to the couch and sitting her down easily. "What did he say? Did he say he was leaving for good?"

"No," she sniffed, "He said he was taking a drive."

"Ok," John sighed with a small, "so see…he's just out for a drive, he'll be back. You'll be fine. You had a fight. It happens. He'll come back when he's cooled down. You'll talk about it. You'll tell him you're sorry. He'll tell you he's sorry and everything will be fine. He loves you Kelly. He really does."

Kelly looked at John, "Thank you," she said, leaning in towards his chest, "You're really becoming a regular knight in shining armor here."

"Shhhh.." John said with a smile, "you'll ruin my reputation as a bad boy,"

As the two teased, John casually draped his arm around her, allowing her to lean into him.

"You deserve to be happy, Kelly," he said, as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"So do you," she said softly, finally relaxed.

"Well, don't you two look cozy," a voice said from the other side of the room.

John and Kelly turned to see Joey standing in the doorway.

Kelly started to stand, "Joey," she said, beginning to move toward him.

"Oh, don't bother," Joey said, already heading back out the door. "I wouldn't want to break up the moment here. It's obvious I don't belong here."

* * *

As he watched the sunrise, Joey sighed. He felt like an ass. After walking out on Kelly last night, he'd driven around for a while and then he'd come back, expecting them to talk, but seeing her with John just fanned the flames that were already burning. Still, he thought, he shouldn't have left her. He promised her he'd never leave her again, and he didn't actually think anything was going on with John. He couldn't imagine what she'd been going through when he left last night. John was actually probably being a decent guy. He was doing what Joey should have been doing. He was listening to her. Letting her talk…letting her cry.

Starting the car, he resolved not to do this anymore. He was going to trust her. He was going to trust himself and he was going to trust their relationship. Sitting at the end of the road wasn't helping anyone and frankly, sleeping in his car was far from relaxing.

As he headed towards the driveway, Joey's eyes immediately fell on John's car. "He's back again?," Joey said aloud.

Shaking it off, he stood from the car and made quick work of the lock. All the calm thoughts dissipated in a moment as he saw John McBain making coffee in his kitchen.

"What do you think you're doing?" Joey snapped, in a tone that was clearly unfriendly.

"Well, I was going to offer you a cup," John replied, "but it looks like you're not in the mood."

Joey eyed John suspiciously. He had definitely slept there, but he wanted him to say it. He needed to hear it from him.

"Did you…Did you stay here all night?" Joey asked through his clenched jaw, knowing the answer already.

"You wanna just shut up," John snapped. "Actually no, I didn't sleep here. In fact, neither of us slept here."

Joey looked at him in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"We were at the hospital, Joey. I had to take Kelly to the hospital," John added, before turning his back to Joey and taking a sip of the steaming coffee.

* * *

For a moment, he'd swear his heart actually stopped beating. "The hospital," he said, barely able to get his throat to open enough to vocalize the words.

John wasn't sympathetic, "Yeah, the hospital. You did a real number on her last night," he said, his voice cold and unfeeling. "She was so upset that there was no calming her down. No matter what I said..no matter what I did…nothing worked. When she started having cramps, I didn't know what else to do, so I took her to the ER."

Joey felt as if he might faint. He clutched the back of the kitchen chair for support. "Is she…" He paused, afraid to finish the question, terrified of the question. "Did she…" He looked at John, begging him to tell him that she was ok.

John watched Joey's ever mood, mindful of the fact that he seemed to feel terrible, "She's ok," he said quietly. "When we got there, her blood pressure was through the roof. They monitored her and the baby until she calmed down. The doctor came in and told her to take it easy, stay off her feet, and eliminate the stress, but he said she and the baby seemed ok."

Joey allowed an enormous burst of air to escape. Looking up towards the ceiling he breathed, "Thank God. Thank God she's ok."

John shook his head. "Yeah, physically she's ok, Joey, but emotionally she's far from it. She barely said a word the entire night. She's worried sick."

Glaring at him, Joey snapped, "Don't you think I'm worried too? Do you think I left because I wanted to? I left because I didn't know what else to do. I left because I'm confused her too. I should have been here last night. I should have been the one to take her to the hospital."

John slammed his hand on the kitchen counter. "Don't you get it, you idiot? If it weren't for you, she wouldn't have gone to the hospital. She wouldn't have been so upset. She wouldn't have needed me to take her."

There was silence in the room. "You're right," Joey finally spoke. "You're right. This is my fault. I caused all of it."

John turned to walk away.

"John, wait," Joey said, extending his hand to him, "Thank you, for being here for Kelly. She needed someone and I'm really glad you were here."

John just nodded and headed out the front door.

Joey sighed as he watched his car back out of the driveway. He looked down the hallway towards the bedroom. Now he had to fix the mess he'd made.

* * *

Joey stood outside the bedroom door for a moment. Kelly was on her side, curled up hugging her pillow. She loved to snuggle, he thought with a smile. He should have been there last night, and instead he'd been the one that brought all this on.

What made this even worse is that John had to run in and rescue her…again. John was here for her when he wasn't. John took care of her when he couldn't, and John was the one she holding her hand and telling her everything would be ok. That was his job.

Seeing her begin to stir, Joey tried to move out of sight. He didn't want to disturb her and he certainly didn't want to take a chance of upsetting her.

"John," Kelly called softly, "Is that you?"

Realizing he'd been spotted, Joey stepped inside the door, "It's me," he said softly as he moved towards the bed and sat down on the empty space beside her legs. "John told me what happened."

"Is that why you came back?" she asked, already feeling her eyes welling up a bit.

Joey flinched a bit as he reached for her hand, "No, sweetie. That's not why I came back. I was coming back this morning to fix things. I wanted to apologize for being so stupid last night and acting so petty, but when I got here I found out what happened and I just…I feel so…so guilty for everything."

Kelly shook her head. "Don't feel guilty. I see why you're upset. It's just…last night when you left," her voice began to shake, "I didn't know if you were coming back…and I…"

Joey leaned towards her, gathering her in his arms, "Shhhh," he said softly, "I'm sorry. I'm so..so sorry."

* * *

John pulled his car into his usual parking spot. There wasn't much competition at the motel. As he went to open his door, he noticed Kelly's jacket in the rearview mirror. Thinking back, he remembered tossing it there after she'd taken it off in the emergency room. He picked it up, making a mental note to return it the next time he saw her. The quick movement caused the scent of Kelly's perfume to waft through the air.

John smiled. It was funny how much he'd enjoyed being with Kelly last night…even though both of them had been scared out of their minds. Somehow, just being with her seemed comfortable…as he carefully folded the jacket the sensation of the fabric beneath his fingertips reminded him of the way she'd leaned against his chest, so desperate for consolation. He'd been there for her…telling her everything would be ok…and it was. Joey had come back, just like he knew he would, and that was for the best. Joey loved her and she loved Joey. That was the way it should be.

Kelly needed him, and he liked that. He wanted to feel as if he was worth something. He liked that she appreciated him and that she wanted him around. They were friends…good friends and he'd never, ever want to ruin that.

But sometimes…sometimes he caught himself thinking about her…sometimes more than sometimes…sometimes it was all the time. "Don't go there, McBain," he said aloud, as he climbed out of the car, throwing the jacket over his shoulder.

* * *

Joey slipped his hand into his jacket pocket, checking to make sure the small, velvet box was exactly where it should be. His first attempt at a proposal hadn't gone very well and he was determined that this time would be different. This time he would do it the right way. He would tell Kelly how he felt. He'd received a copy of the papers this morning. Aubrey had signed them, just as she said she would. Not it was a matter of waiting for the process to finalize and he'd be free to be with Kelly.

Joey stood at the door for a moment. He was nervous, though he didn't really understand why. This was Kelly…the same Kelly he'd known for years. He smiled as he thought of everything they'd been through and all the good memories they'd made together. Running through what he wanted to say in his head, he took a deep breath. "This is it," he said as he turned the key in the lock.

Joey walked into the kitchen and looked around. He didn't see Kelly anywhere. "Kelly," he called. No answer. That was strange. It was the middle of the day and he knew she was still taking it pretty easy after the scare the other day. "Kel, are you here?" he called again. Still nothing.

Walking into the living room, he glanced around, then he spotted the note sitting on the coffee table. Picking it up, he read her quickly jotted sentences. 'Gone to John's. Be back soon.'

Joey sighed, sitting the ring down hard on the glass. "Dammit."

* * *

"Hold on…Hold on, I'm coming," John called, making his way to the door. Pushing the boxes behind the couch, he attempted to hide them from view before opening the door.

Kelly stood there, waiting patiently for John to arrive. She hadn't seen him since the night at the ER and she imagined she was less than pleasant to be around then. He'd left the next morning without even saying goodbye and she felt bad that she hadn't even called to thank him for helping her and staying with her all night.

As the door opened, John was surprised, "Kelly?" he said, glancing back into the room and pulling it closer towards him. He hadn't been expecting company. Then, as he realized what an impromptu visit could mean, he asked, "What are you doing here? Is everything ok?"

Kelly responded immediately, "Yeah, sorry. I should have called first. Everything is fine. I just wanted to stop by and talk to you for a minute. I'll come back another time. I'll call first next time." She turned to leave, feeling even worse about putting him on the spot.

"No…No," John said, stepping outside to stop her. "Don't be silly. You don't have to call first. You never have to call. Come in, please." John gently pulled her inside the room, still glancing towards the boxes, trying to keep her focused on the couch and him. Maybe she wouldn't notice them. As he saw her eyes scan the room, he flinched a little when he realized there would be no such luck.

"What are those?" Kelly asked, gesturing towards the cardboard boxes.

"Oh that," John stuttered. "It's nothing. Just some stuff that I need to go through. That's all."

Kelly looked over at the boxes. They were full of baby things. Clearly some of it was Liam's but there were other things. Things that almost looked new and untouched. "John," she said, softly, "What is all this."

John stared into the boxes. "Some of it was Liam's," he admitted. "I was just going to take the boxes and drop them off at Natalies, and then I realized that some of the stuff wasn't his..Some of it was…" His voice trailed off then and Kelly could since that he had gone somewhere else….somewhere different.

"John," she said, softly touching his arm. "You ok?"

John shook his head slightly, trying to clear his thoughts, "Yeah," he said, clearing his throat, "Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that…these boxes. I didn't even know this stuff was still here."

"It looks new," Kelly said, as she glanced into the box again. She wanted to pick things up and look at them, but she wasn't sure if John wanted her to see everything.

"Yeah, well, they are. They never got to be used…the baby didn't…the baby didn't live.

"John, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. I didn't mean to…" Kelly hadn't imagined that these were things John had bought for the baby he was having with Marty. She felt even worse for forcing him into talking about it. It was clearly a painful subject.

"No…it's ok," John said, as he picked up a small plush dog and smiled slightly. "I was going to get rid of it, but I guess somewhere I thought maybe I'd get another chance." He looked up at Kelly. "Maybe there would be another baby I could give these things to."

Kelly nodded, "And you got that with Liam," she said softly.

"Yeah," John said gruffly, "we all know how that turned out.

"You know what I know," she said, touching John's face and raising his chin to force eye contact, "I know that this baby will be lucky to have you for a Dad."

John smiled, "thanks for saying that," he said softly. Kelly always knew exactly what to say.

"This time will be different, John. This time you're gonna get the chance to be a father." Kelly reached out and softly grabbed his hand, "How about we finish going through these boxes?"

* * *

"So," John said, as he was placing a few more items into a keep box and placing it in his closet, "You never said exactly why you stopped by today."

"Oh. I wanted to come by and thank you for everything you did for me the other day. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there," she said quietly. "You were really great. You made me feel like everything was ok and I needed that."

John nodded, "I'll always be there…if you need me. All you have to do is call."

"I know," Kelly replied, looking up at him, "And I want you to know how much I appreciate that, but I can't keep running to you with every little problem I have. Joey is who I need to be talking to when we have problems and it isn't fair to him that I go to you instead."

John blinked. He was confused…had he heard her wrong? Was she defending Joey? "Kelly, you weren't being unfair to Joey that night. He walked out. You couldn't talk to him about the problem because he wasn't there and you needed someone. I'm glad I was there. If I hadn't been there….you could have…well, it could have ended a lot different."

She shook her head, "I know and Joey knows that too. He really feels terrible for walking out like that and we've both agreed that from now on we discuss our problems together and there won't be any more walking out."

"I hope so…for your sake," John responded, a little more hostile than he meant.

Kelly stared at his expression for a moment. She didn't quite understand this. It was almost as if…No, it couldn't be. Was John jealous of her relationship with Joey?

* * *

John silently cursed himself as he stood up and pretended to study a bill sitting on the desk. He hadn't meant for his words to come out in that tone. He knew Kelly had noticed because she was sitting there…completely still…and worse, completely silent.

"What does that mean?" she finally said, walking up behind him.

"What?" John said, feigning idiocy. Perhaps if he acted like he didn't know what she was talking about she'd believe she read too much into his words.

"What you said, 'I hope so for your sake.' You don't believe Joey is committed to me?" she asked.

"I didn't say that," John responded, trying to figure out how to dig himself out of the deep hole he found himself planted in. "it's just that…I think Joey believes that you and I are somehow now connected and until he stops being jealous of us, I don't know that he'll ever really be able to be the person you need in your life….the person you deserve."

"Joey is a great guy," Kelly rebutted, feeling a little defensive, "We have a lot of history. We've been through a lot together and he's been right by my side through this whole thing. This hasn't exactly been easy for him you know. I mean he loves me and he just found out that I'm having a baby with another man. You've gotta expect that he's not going to be thrilled with the idea."

"Sure, but I just can't imagine walking out like that." That was the one thing John just couldn't wrap his brain around. Joey had lost her so many times and he finally had her back. They finally had a real chance at being happy and he just walked out. It didn't make sense. "If I had a chance to be happy with you, I'd never walk out."

As soon as the words left his lips, John realized what he said. He looked at Kelly, somehow foolishly hoping maybe she hadn't been listening, but one look at her proved she had.

Her eyes wide and confused, she stood there, "What?" she asked softly.

"Nothing," John replied, backtracking as quickly as possible, "I just meant if I had someone in my life that I cared about and I had a real chance at building a family with them, I wouldn't walk out like that."

"You kind of did walk out like that….remember Natalie," Kelly snapped.

"Natalie was different," John responded, now feeling defensive himself.

"How is that different," Kelly said, her own words now harsh and slightly hostile.

"She just was. Ok?" John was feeling completely out of control now. That was a dangerous place for him to be…especially around Kelly.

"No, John. It's not ok. I want to know what the hell you're talking about. Why is Natalie different? How can you see walking out on Natalie, but you just can't see anyone walking out on me?"

"Because Natalie isn't you," John said finally, resigned to the fact that nothing else he said would satisfy her.

Kelly waited a moment, expecting him to say more…to offer some more explanation, but he didn't. "What do you mean Natalie isn't me? That's why you can leave Natalie…because she isn't me?"

John shook his head. "Natalie isn't the one I think about all the time," he replied softly, looking up at Kelly, "You are".

* * *

"You think about me?" Kelly asked, looking at John. She knew John cared about her, but she honestly thought they were friends. She never imagined it would be more than that, but as she stood here now looking at him, she'd swear she saw something very different in his eyes.

John looked away. He didn't want to mess things up. There was enough drama already and when children were involved, things got complicated…fast. "I just…" he paused, unsure of what to say. No words seemed appropriate and yet saying nothing certainly wasn't working. "I…," he looked at her. It was her eyes mainly. It was as if she could stare straight through him. "Come on, Kelly. You know I care about you."

She nodded. "And I care about you too. We're friends…really good friends, but…do you…I mean…is there more to it than that?" Looking at John, she was so confused. Could Joey be right? Was there more between her and John that simple friendship? "John, do you have feelings for me?"

John eyes looked at the floor, around the room, and anywhere else except into Kelly's. He couldn't look at her. He was afraid she'd see his thoughts without him even saying anything. "Of course, I do," he said finally, "You and I are going to have a child together."

Kelly sighed, "That's not what I mean and you know it." He was dodging the question now. Something was clearly up.

Taking a breath, he forced himself to look at her, "Let's sit down," he said softly, leading her back to the couch.

* * *

"Ok," Kelly said, still looking at John, "We're sitting. You've stalled in every way humanly possible, so can you please just answer the question?"

John nodded. She was right. She needed to know the truth. She deserved to know how he felt. "When we hooked up, everyone said it was about the sex."

Kelly nodded. That was true. She'd been called any number of names after her initial run in with John. "Yeah, people definitely had strong opinions."

John laughed softly, "Right..and even afterwards, when we would hang out and talk…no one really thought we were anything besides some kind of drunken rebound fling." His eyes met hers before he added, "but it was more than that. You listened to me. You talked to me and you let me feel whatever it was that I was feeling. You never tried to change me or make me be any way other than the way I was."

"Well," she said, with a small smile, "that's not entirely true. I did try to keep you from single handedly taking on that entire bar."

"Right..Right…well, that was done with the best of intentions," he replied smiling. "I'll admit, at first it was about getting back at Natalie, but somewhere along the line, that changed. I really started to enjoy our talks. There was something about the way I felt when I was around you. It was nice. It felt real."

Kelly nodded. She knew what he meant. John let her be her. She never had to do anything or say anything other than what she felt. If she was angry, he let her be angry. If she needed to cry, he let her cry, and she did the same for him. "Right," she said softly, her eyes willing him to continue.

John cleared his throat. "I knew you were in love with Joey, but that didn't stop me from thinking that you were too good for him.

"John," Kelly said, attempting to stop him.

"Wait…let me say this," John said, determined to finish now. He'd come this far and there was no turning back. "Kelly, you're beautiful and amazing and all these things, but Joey is still forcing you to prove something. You're constantly reassuring him that you love him and that you want to be with him. Is that really how you want to live?"

Kelly thought for a moment, "That's not fair, John. This isn't easy for him. I know he loves me. I know he does. Even you said he does." She looked at John.

John knew he was touching on a very iffy subject. Joey and Kelly were legendary. Trying to tell her anything bad about Joey wasn't going to be an easy sell. "Look, I'm not saying the guy doesn't love you or that he doesn't want the best things in the world for you. I'm just saying that I want you to know that I'm here."

Kelly blinked for a moment, "I don't understand. What does that mean, John?"

John swallowed hard. "If you get tired of trying to change for Joey Buchanan, I'll be here …waiting, and I'll take you…just like you are."

* * *

"I…" Kelly didn't know what to say.

John softly touched her hand, "You don't have to say anything. I'm not asking you to say anything. I just wanted you to know. If Joey doesn't want to deal with this…or…or, if he can't, you'll never have to be alone." He looked at her eyes, and could sense her understanding of his words. "You'll always have someone that wants to be here for you. Just know that."

Kelly nodded, unable to say anything that seemed right…She struggled, trying to think of something..anything… Somehow, "thank you," was the only possible response.

John walked her to the door, softly kissing her on the cheek. "Oh, and Kelly," he said, as she started out the door, "You never, ever have to thank me for being here for you. If you need me anytime, for anything…just call."

Kelly nodded and turned to walk away. She took a few steps and stopped. She couldn't leave it like this, "John," she said, turning back to look at him.

"Yeah," he said, curious as to what she'd say now.

"If you need me, you can call me too…you know that right?" she stammered. That wasn't what she wanted to say.

John just smiled, "Sure," he said and started to close the door.

"Wait," she said, smiling as he opened it and stepped back outside.

"Yeah," he answered.

"It wasn't just about the sex for me either…I mean, I felt something too. I still…." Kelly stopped and looked at him. She was so confused.

John softly touched her hair. "You just remember what I said," he said quietly as he leaned in and softly kissed her cheek and then for a brief second lingered close to her lips before pulling away.

Kelly nodded. She had a lot to think about.

* * *

Joey sat on the couch, staring at the note Kelly left him. He sighed. She was being honest. She wasn't hiding anything from him. Picking up the ring, he silently chided himself for being upset. "This is your chance," he said aloud. "This is your chance to finally be happy."

Removing the diamond from the box, he held it in his hands, trying to envision the way it would look on Kelly's finger. He'd proposed to her before. He'd married her before, but this time it was different. This time it was forever, and this time he would make sure that nothing came between them again.

Hearing the car pull in the driveway, Joey quickly placed the ring back in the velvet box. He slipped the box into his pocket and met Kelly at the door. "Hi," he said, gently hugging her as she walked in the door.

Kelly smiled, genuinely happy to see him. "I didn't know you'd be here," she replied. "Weren't you supposed to be spending the day with your sister?"

Joey nodded. "I went to see her for a while, but I missed you, and I needed to talk to you about something. "

Kelly looked over on the table and saw the note. "Oh, I guess you saw the note. I just went to John's to…" She started to explain.

Joey stopped her. "I don't care."

Kelly stood still for a moment. "What?"

"I don't care why you went to John's. That's your business. You too are having a baby together. I'm sure you have a lot to talk about. What's important is that you're here…right now..with me. And I have something to talk to you about. Actually, I have something I want you to see. "

Kelly smiled. "Well, this is a switch," she said happily. Since when are you ok with me seeing John.

Joey sighed, "Since I realized that it's my fault we've been in such a weird spot here lately. I've been making it harder than it needs to be. You love me and I know that. You and John are friends and that's it."

Kelly tried not to react. John clearly didn't think of her as just a friend, but he did respect the relationship she had with Joey. That was all that mattered. "Right. We are. We're friends."

"Well, I realized that you and I are strong together. We have a connection that's too strong for me to be so petty and jealous over the little things. I want to be with you and if that means that John McBain will be around from time to time, then that's ok with me." He smiled at her and reached into his pocket. "These were messengered over today."

Kelly took the papers and looked at them. They were divorce papers. "Aubrey signed them," she said, a little surprised that she'd actually kept her word.

"Yeah, she did. We've just got to wait for the court to finish the process and we're free and clear to do whatever we want." Joey leaned in and softly kissed her. As he pulled away, he reached into his pocket, "Which brings me to my next point…" Joey held the ring box in front of Kelly.

Kelly smiled as her eyes filled with tears. She'd waited for this moment since she'd come back to Llanview and now, now it was finally happening.

"I know they say the third time's a charm," Joey said, smiling at her, "but I really hope you won't make me do this a third time."

Joey smiled as he was rewarded with a small laugh from Kelly, "Just say yes, Kelly. Will you be my wife?"

* * *

"You really hate being called a boyfriend don't you?" Kelly said, teasing him a little.

Joey threw his head back and smiled, "You're killing me here."

"Ok…Ok. I'm sorry," she said, giggling as she looked at him. This was Joey. This was the Joey she'd grown to love so many years ago. The Joey she'd had so many talks with, the Joey who'd swept her off her feet in Paris, the Joey who'd picked her up so many times when her life had been in pieces. "I'd be honored," she said softly.

"You will?" he asked, almost surprised.

"You thought I'd say no?" she asked with a smile.

"Well, no" Joey said quickly, "I mean…I wasn't sure..the last time it didn't, I mean forget it. We don't even need to talk about last time. Last time was a disaster, but this time…this time went much better." Joey grabbed her and pulled her into a kiss, smiling as he held her in his arms. It was finally happening for them. They were finally going to get a chance to be together and now, to be a real family.

"Uh, Joey," Kelly said softly, "Aren't you forgetting something?

Joey looked confused. "What?"

"The ring," Kelly said, with a smile, "Gimme."

Joey laughed and placed the ring on her finger, feeling a lump rise in his throat as he did so. As he saw the tears glisten in her eyes, he softly whispered, "I love you Kelly Cramer. Don't you ever forget that."

Kelly smiled as Joey threw his arms around her. As she looked at the ring on her finger, her mind flashed to John…he was so close to her. She'd swear she felt his lips brush hers. Kelly closed her eyes. Why was she thinking about John McBain at a moment like this? Unless? She looked at the ring on her finger again. Did she have feelings for John?

* * *

John McBain sat there, shuffling the files that covered his desk from one side to another. "Where the hell is it?" he muttered out loud. He wasn't in the habit of misplacing important paperwork, and although he had been a little distracted lately, he wasn't about to start doing it now.

Slamming his hand hard down on the desk, he jerked open the top desk drawer. Maybe it was in here, he thought. As he rifled through the contents of the drawer, his eyes feel upon an overturned photo. Picking it up, he sighed. It was a picture of Natalie and Liam….the family he thought he finally had. He must have put it in here after….sighing again he put it back in the drawer. That was over now. His eyes roved over the missing file. He placed it on his desk as he leaned back in the chair. Now that he'd found it, he hardly felt like he was in the mood to work on it.

Thinking back over the last few days, he had to wonder what was going on with Kelly. He hadn't spoken with her since he'd made his confession of sorts. He knew he'd taken a risk telling her how he felt, but she hadn't shot him down, not that he'd thought she would—Kelly wasn't like that, at least not to him. He smiled, in spite of himself. He hated to admit that he'd missed her. Reaching into his jacket pocket, he removed the small black and white photo and stared at it. A baby..his baby….He took the picture and propped it up against his desk lamp.

This was his family now.

* * *

"What about here?" Joey said as he gestured to the floor space in between the kitchen and the living room.

Kelly wrinkled her nose. "I mean, I guess that's as good as any. We have to use it somewhere."

Joey smiled, "We could put it in the attic," he said with a smirk.

"Right, Right…," Kelly smiled as she helped him pull the rug straight. I'm sure your mother would love to see her engagement present in our attic when she came to visit."

"You think it's rude to ask for gift cards on our registry?" he said with a smile.

"Hmmm…" Kelly said, leaning in towards him for a kiss, as they both stood back up to survey the rug…"Yep, it's just as ugly from this vantage point."

"Eh, we'll put the couch on it or something," he said with a smile, giving her another quick kiss. "Anyway, I better get going. I've got that interview to get to."

Kelly nodded. "You've got your portfolio right?"

Joey nodded. "I'm nervous," he admitted.

Kelly smiled at him, "Don't be. You'll be great." She gestured to the portfolio. "These will speak for themselves. You call me," she said, picking up her phone and placing it back on the coffee table, "the minute you're done, I expect to hear from you."

Joey nodded, leaned in for one more quick kiss and headed out the door.

Kelly stood at the door and waved as Joey pulled down the driveway. Things were finally going well for them. She placed her hand over her belly. "We're gonna make this work," she whispered softly. Maybe this time, things were actually going to be ok.

* * *

Kelly filled the vase with water, then arranged the flowers in perfect order and smiled. This was how she'd always hoped her life would turn out. She was marrying Joey. He was the guy she'd loved for years, her first real love…and that meant something. That was special. Dorian had sent the flowers over as a congratulations and Kelly wanted to make sure they were out just in case she stopped by.

As she looked at the arrangement, she thought back over the last few weeks. What could have been absolute disaster was becoming a new beginning for her and Joey…and for John. Kelly sighed. John had been so wonderful to her and she felt as if she'd let him down somehow. It wasn't that she didn't care about him, she did….a lot. It was just…she loved Joey and she wanted to be with him. She couldn't love John too. Could she? Kelly shook her head as she walked towards the living room with flowers in hand. "Maybe these will distract from that rug.." she mumbled as she stepped into the other room. Placing the flowers on the coffee table, she took a step back to admire them, "Perfect," she said, as she turned to walk away.

The rug slid beneath her feet and before she could do anything, she felt herself falling.

* * *

She wasn't sure how much time had passed, what she did know was that she was on the floor surrounded by water and glass. She looked around, and tried to move, but the searing pain in her leg and foot wouldn't allow it. She closed her eyes, she remembered the flowers and slipping on the rug. The baby….her mind cleared quickly. She grabbed the coffee table to keep from falling and obviously hit the flowers.

Gently bringing her hand to the back of her head, she saw a small trace of blood, apparently she hit her head too. She hurt everywhere. As she allowed her eyes to look around, she saw her phone, lying beside a sharp shard of glass, "Please God, let it work," she whispered aloud.

She dialed Joey's number, as she closed her eyes in silent prayer.

* * *

Joey sat at the table and glanced at his watch. It would figure the guy would be late. It seemed as if when you were the most nervous people were always late. He willed his fingers to stop the incessant tapping tune they played on the table, and forced nervous smiles at everyone that passed.

He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. Removing it he looked at the screen, "Kelly," he said. As he stood to step away from the table to answer, he eyed his interview and quickly pushed the silence button. He'd call her back. He was sure she was just wishing him good luck anyway. Hopefully he wouldn't need it.

Kelly tried to speak calmly, "Joey…when you get this message, I need you to call me, please. It's really important. I need help. Please hurry." Kelly closed the phone and squeezed her eyes shut. The pain was becoming almost unbearable and it seemed to be coming from everywhere.

Taking a deep breath, Kelly opened the phone again and dialed. "Please answer," she whispered.

* * *

John made a few notes on the legal pad as he listened to a young officer briefing his team on a scene.

John's phone beeped, shattering the professionalism in the room, "Sorry," John said gruffly, standing and departing the room. One look at the phone made him quicken his steps toward his office. "Yeah, Kelly," he said, lowering his voice until his office door closed. The last thing he wanted was to become the topic of the office gossip.

"John," she said, her breathing shaky, along with the rest of her.

"Yeah," John replied, immediately picking up on her tone. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I need help, John," she whispered. "Please help me."

"Where are you?" he asked quickly, his heartbeat accelerating, his muscles tense, "What happened?"

"Please hurry. I'm at the house. Please hurry….John…." Kelly couldn't control her tone, nor was she concerned about scaring him at the moment. She needed someone to be scared. She needed him there…now.

"Kelly, are you hurt?," John yelled into the phone, no longer knowing or caring who heard him. He raced out of the office. "Kelly? Kelly can you hear me?"

Jumping into his car, he raced out the parking lot, having no idea what he'd find when he got there.

The pain was so severe, Kelly could no longer speak. She grabbed the phone and pulled it close to her, Her hands trembling, she dialed a 9 and a 1 before losing consciousness.

* * *

John tapped the brakes just enough to take the turn on all wheels. His mind hadn't stopped racing since he pulled out of the station. He'd tried to call Kelly back, but her phone went straight to voice mail. Slamming the car into park, he jumped from the seat, slamming the door behind him.

He checked the front door. Locked. Without a seconds thought, he slammed into it with his shoulder, breaking the frame. "Ke.." He didn't even have to finish. The sight of her on the floor was enough to stun him into silence.

John was beside her immediately. He looked at the phone in her hand, her fingers still poised motionless on the key pad. As he closed the phone, he saw the numbers she'd been trying to dial. John closed his eyes. "I'm gonna get you some help," he said, as he quickly dialed the numbers himself.

As he tried to answer the operator's questions, he tried to provoke some sort of reaction from her. He got nothing. "Please hurry," he said into the phone. As he closed the phone, he gently stroked her face. "Come on Kelly."

Looking at her like this, his mind couldn't help but think about Marty. This is how he'd found her…laying on the floor…so still…so quiet…and she….He took a deep breath. That couldn't happen this time. It just couldn't.

A soft moan shook John from his thoughts. "Hey, you…" he said, attempting to sound calm.

Kelly tried to sit, but was again stopped by pain. "Owwww," she hissed, squinting her eyes shut. "John," she whispered, "What happened?"

John spoke softly to her, stroking her hair, "Well, it looks like you took a little fall. I've got an ambulance coming to take a look at you, but everything is going to be fine. You just stay really still and everything is going to be just fine." He wanted so badly to believe that.

Kelly tried to process his words. "The baby," she whispered, closing her eyes again as a wave of pain raced through her. "John, the baby…"

John could see she was becoming upset.."It's ok," he said, holding her hand, "The ambulance is on their way. You just relax. I'm right here. They're going to fix you right up."

He leaned down to kiss her forehead, sighing in relief as he heard the sirens. "You hear that?" he asked her with a smile, "They came real quick. You're gonna be just fine." John brought her hand up to his lips and gently kissed it. As he did, he caught sight of her ring. For a moment, he felt a twinge of pain at the thought of her marrying Joey.

Kelly's eyes fluttered open again, "John," she whispered, "Please….don't let anything happen to the baby…"

John took a breath. "Nothing is gonna happen…ok? I'm right here. I'm gonna take care of you."

Kelly closed her eyes and seemed to relax slightly. She softly whispered, "You always do."

* * *

John sat beside the small bed in the ER. As the nurse came into the room, he asked, "Isn't there anything you can do for her? She's clearly in a lot of pain. Where is the damn doctor?"

The young nurse shook her head, "I'm sorry, sir. We've paged the doctor and we're doing everything we can."

John nodded. It wasn't the nurse's fault. It wasn't anyone's fault, but it wasn't fair. He shouldn't be sitting in this hospital…again. He shouldn't be waiting to hear if his unborn child would make it…again. Kelly shouldn't be going through this…again. None of this should be happening. Looking over at Kelly's face, he knew how scared he was. "I tried to call Joey," he said, stroking her face softly.

Kelly shook her head as best she could through the pain, "He's at a job interview. I left him a message to call me…he'll call…" She closed her eyes as she tried to manage the pain.

John felt helpless…just sitting there, watching her struggle. This was so much like what happened with Marty. As he heard the door open, and saw the doctor, he immediately stood, "Doc, please…do something."

The doctor glanced at the charts, making a few notes, and ordering the nurse to get a series of medications. "Ms. Cramer," he said, gently, "I need you to tell me what kind of pain this is."

Kelly spoke quickly, a combination of pain and nerves, "I don't know. It's a sharp pain, it comes and goes…"

The doctor jotted her responses down… "Like cramping?," he asked.

"Yes…I mean…No….I don't know," Kelly yelled. "Just tell me if my baby is ok," she cried, tears streaming down her face.

John reached over to grab her hand, "Relax, it's ok. He just needs some information before he can get started."

"Your husband's right, Ms. Cramer," the doctor said. "I need to know as much as I can to be able to determine the best course of treatment. For now, let's go ahead and do a sonogram and get a closer look at what's going on."

Kelly looked over at John, still holding his hand. She didn't know what she would do without him there.

* * *

"What do you see?" John asked, feeling his heart pounding. He knew this moment. He'd lived it.

The doctor was silent. He continued to move the wand across Kelly's stomach.

"What is it?" Kelly said, her voice tense as she looked over at the doctor and then at John. "What's going on? What do you see?"

"There," the doctor said pointing to the screen and looking slightly relieved, "There's your baby. Heartbeat is strong…nothing to indicate any fetal distress."

Kelly felt tears stream down her face. "Really? You're sure. The baby's ok?" She was so relieved, yet she wanted to be sure. She knew she'd taken a fall and the pain had to be something.

"I'm sure," the doctor responded. "The pain could be coming from anything. It could be a sprain, could be a pinched nerve. Let me step out and grab your scans and we'll take a look."

As the doctor left the room, Kelly looked over at John, who'd been silent since the doctor delivered the news. "You ok?" she said, softly touching his arm.

John let out a huge sigh. "The baby's ok," he said smiling. He looked at Kelly, "It's ok…" Pulling Kelly into a hug, he softly kissed her cheek, " I was so worried," he whispered, as he pulled away to look into her eyes. "I was so scared…" John stopped then, realizing he was mere inches from her. He knew he should pull away, but he couldn't. Before he knew it, his lips were touching hers, and she wasn't pushing him away.

"I'm sorry," Kelly said, pulling back, "God, John. I'm really sorry. I guess with everything that was going on and all the emotions, I just got a little wrapped up and….."

John smiled at her, placing his fingertips on her lips. "Don't be sorry. I'm not."

* * *

"John," Kelly started, a bit startled by what had just taken place.

"Don't," John said, "Or better yet…Do." He smiled at her. "Go ahead….Kelly. Tell me that when you kissed me just now…that you didn't feel anything. Tell me that you wanted to pull away."

Kelly just stared at him blinking.

"You've got that ring on your finger now," he said, looking at her, his eyes wide and full of emotion, "which I'm assuming means Joey asked you to marry him and you said yes."

Kelly started to speak slowly, "Yes, Joey asked me to marry him and I said yes, but about what happened before…I…."

"You what?" John said, scooting closer to her on the bed, "You wanted to kiss me and you know it," he told her, as he softly touched her face. "Just admit it, Kelly. That's all I'm asking. Tell me I'm not crazy here. Tell me I'm not imagining this."

She looked at him, feeling tears sting at her eyes. "You're not…you're not imagining it. I…..I…wanted to kiss you."

John softly touched her face. "I don't mean to complicate your life, Kelly. I just want you to be honest with yourself. If you'll give us a chance, I won't hurt you. I'll never, ever hurt you. "

Kelly felt a tear escape, but John brushed it away with his hand, "I know you wouldn't," she said quietly. "you never have."

John took her hand and held it close to him, "Can you say the same for Joey Buchanan?"

* * *

"I love Joey," Kelly said softly, looking at John.

John nodded, "I know you do, but there's a difference you know…between loving someone and being in love with them."

Kelly started to speak when the door opened. She turned to see Joey in the doorway.

"Oh my God, Kelly," he said, rushing to the bedside. "When I got your message, I went to the house and you weren't there…" He paused to take a shaky breath, "and then John called and said you were here." He kissed her and held her face in his hands, "I'm so sorry I wasn't here with you. Are you ok? Is the baby ok?"

Kelly forced a smile. "The baby's fine. The doctor still hasn't come back with all the results yet, but he said the baby looks fine."

Joey sighed, "That's great…." He looked over at John, "Looks like I owe you again," he said extending his hand.

John kept his hands in his pocket, "Yeah, looks like."

Joey awkwardly retracted his hand and picked up Kelly's instead, "So, what happened? I saw flowers and a vase were knocked over. Did you faint or…."

"No…it was that rug. I slipped on the corner. It wasn't taped down and I didn't realize it would move and I slipped," she said shaking her head. Thinking about it now, it all could have turned out so differently.

Joey lowered his head, "God…I should have taped it down. I never should have left it like that,"

"You got that right," John muttered under his breath.

"What did you say?" Joey asked, his voice already tense.

John just stared at him. He stood up and cleared his throat. "Nothing." He turned to Kelly, "I'll be right outside if you need me."

"She won't," Joey said as John swung the door open and left the room.

* * *

"You're sure you're ok here?" Joey asked as he surveyed the room again.

Kelly smiled at him. "Yes, Joey. I have water and snacks and the remote and magazines and the phone and takeout menus and money and anything else I could possibly need between arms length."

"Except me," he smiled, leaning down to kiss her. "You know what, I could call in…tell them what happened. I'm sure they would understand."

"You don't call in sick on your first day of a new job because your girlfriend has a sprained ankle and a pulled muscle in her back," Kelly said with a laugh. "Besides, I will be fine. I promise."

Joey sighed, "First of all…fiancé, not girlfriend," he said with a smile, "second of all, I'll go on one condition."

Kelly raised her eyebrows.

"You call me if you need anything…even if it's just to hear my irresistibly handsome voice," he teased.

Kelly smiled at him, and leaned in for another kiss, "You got it," she said softly.

She listened as she heard him leave. Then, waiting until she was certain he was gone, she picked up the phone. "Hey, John. Can you come over? Yeah, I need to see you. We need to talk."

* * *

Kelly nibbled her fingernail nervously as she awaited John's arrival. She jumped when her phone rang. Seeing John's name, she answered it. "Hey," she said, anxiously, "What's going on?"

John smiled. Just hearing her voice could make him smile, "I'm outside. I was just curious…do you uh want me to break down the door again or do you have a key?"

Kelly laughed quietly, "The mat..the welcome mat. Look under it."

"Ah," John said…"Joey's idea I'm guessing."

"Come on, John. Be nice," she said, smiling as she saw him standing in the doorway.

She closed the phone and gestured to the space beside her on the bed. "You wanna sit?"

John sat down beside her. He reached up to touch her hair. It was almost involuntary, as if his mind didn't even think about, his body just acted on its own. "How are you?" he asked softly.

"I'm better," she said, looking at him. "I wanted…I needed to talk to you. The way we left things at the hospital…."

"I know," he said with a sigh. "That wasn't fair to you. I shouldn't have pushed you like that."

"No," Kelly said, "You should have. I needed it. I needed someone to make me think about things…and you did. You've made me think about a lot of things." Looking at John, she knew she had to continue. He deserved to know how she felt even if it didn't make sense. "I do love Joey, John."

John didn't break his gaze. The confession didn't surprise him. He hadn't expected her to somehow realize she didn't love Joey, but it was something else…something more…something was bothering her…something had bothered her enough to call him over. "Ok," he said, "Is that what you called me over to tell me?" he asked.

"No," she said softly, "I called you to tell you that I think….." She looked away.

John touched her face and turned it back towards him…"You think what?" he whispered.

"I think I might love you too," she whispered.

* * *

Kelly covered her face with her hands, "I am such a mess," she cried, feeling like she might start crying or laughing any second. "I mean, think about it, Joey…the guy that I've loved my whole life finally decides that we're meant to be together and I turn up pregnant…but not with his baby…No…No..that would be too easy."

John watched her babble, unsure if he should stop her or reassure her. He opted for sitting there silently. That seemed safer.

"No, see, I got pregnant with your baby…which was ok," she said glancing at John and smiling, "because you're a really good guy and we were friends…good friends…really good friends, and it was all gonna be ok."

John continued to stare.

"But could I leave it alone? No…Not me. Not Kelly Cramer. I have to go and complicate things by letting my heart get involved. I'm just a disaster. I'm a big, fat, pregnant disaster."

John reached out to her and gently took her hand in his. "Ok, so you're a little confused…and you've got a couple of issues to work out, but you're not fat," he said with a smile…."and you're not a disaster."

Kelly smiled at him. "I just…I don't know what to do, John. I mean, I just told you that I think I love you, but in the same breath I told you that I love Joey. That's got to sound like a special kind of crazy."

John shook his head. "No, it doesn't. You've loved Joey for a very long time, and I get that. You don't just turn that off. "

Kelly couldn't believe it. She had just told the man sitting in front of her that she was in love with him and in the same breath she'd confessed her love to the man she was engaged to, yet instead of being upset or angry, he was trying to make her feel better. "How do you do it?" she asked.

"Do what?" John said quietly.

"How do you always know what to say? No matter how stupid I sound or how much trouble I cause you..you never write me off. You're always right here and you always make it better."

John leaned towards her, "You're the kind of trouble I like," he said with a smile, softly kissing her hand, "And I know that this is probably not what you want to talk about right now, but I've got to ask. What are you going to tell Joey?"

Kelly sighed and looked at the ring on her finger. "I honestly don't know, John, but I've got to tell him something. I do know one thing. I can't marry him…not like this…"

John nodded. "You want me to stay until he gets home?"

Kelly smiled at him. "Could you? I mean…just stay here with me. It's just that when I'm alone all I do is think and worry about everything and…"

Before Kelly could finish her sentence, John had kicked off his shoes and removed his jacket. His arms were around her and she was leaning against his chest.

"It's ok," he said softly, "I'll stay right here as long as you want." Kelly closed her eyes. She'd worry later. For now she'd lay here and believe that everything was going to be ok.

* * *

John's eyes flew open. Something had startled him, yet he didn't know what. He glanced over at Kelly's sleeping face, still snuggled close to his chest. Then he heard it…footsteps. "Dammit," he cursed, rousing Kelly from her sleep.

"Ummmm…" she said. "John, what's wrong?"

Before John could respond, Kelly's eyes fell on Joey, standing in the doorway.

He looked more hurt than angry. "What the hell is going on?" he said, fighting to maintain his composure.

"Joey," Kelly started to explain.

"No.." he stopped her…"I want to hear it from him," he said, turning towards John.

John carefully stood up from the bed. "Look," he said, holding his hands up in an attempt to placate him, "This looks a lot worse than it is," he said quietly.

"That's a relief," Joey scoffed, "Because it looks pretty damn bad. You see it looks like my fiancé is curled up in bed with another man, but I'm glad to know that it isn't as bad as it looks."

"I just came over to check on Kelly," John said, attempting to make the situation better.

"Oh," Joey responded, sarcasm dripping from his voice, "You came to check on her…and somehow in the middle of it all, your shoes fell off and your jacket fell off and shirt got all loose around the collar. Hell those first two buttons just popped right open…And then….her head just fell on your chest. Is that it John? Is that how it happened?" Joey no longer cared if he was calm.

"If you'll just let me explain," John started, taking a step towards him.

Joey shoved him hard with both hands, slamming him into the back wall, "How stupid do you think I am? Huh? You think I don't see what's going on here?"

"Joey, stop it," Kelly yelled from the bed.

Joey turned around. "Kelly, I asked you to marry me…I love you…I thought you loved me too. What the hell are you doing here?" His voice was raised and his anger and hurt were apparent.

John grabbed him from behind, "Back the hell off," he said, his voice serious. "You have an issue with me and that's fine. We'll deal with it, but you leave Kelly out of it. She doesn't need it right now."

Joey looked at Kelly. Tears streamed down her face. Her hand shook as she attempted to brush them away. Joey nodded, "I'm gonna go," he said quietly, looking at Kelly. "I'm gonna step outside and get some air." He was so angry he was shaking, but seeing Kelly so upset took precedence over everything. He gently leaned over her, and kissed her forehead, "We can fix this," he whispered, "I love you , Kel."

As he turned to walk out, he looked at John and quietly whispered, "Be gone when I get back."

* * *

"I'm so sorry," John said, as he slipped his shoes and jacket back on. "I never wanted him to find me here."

Kelly nodded. "I know, but in a way…it's good. It means I have to talk to him. I have to explain things. It's only fair to him."

"Hey," John said softly, "I know you love Joey," he said, looking at her, and carefully brushing away the tears from her face, "and if you think the two of you can make a go of it, you should…I mean…I understand."

Kelly smiled. "I know you do," she said, as she allowed her face to rest against his hand. "I just want you to know that I do feel something for you. It's not just friendship…. I care about you…so much and sometimes I even think maybe we could be something more."

John nodded. "I think about that too."

"I just want to be honest with you, John" Kelly looked at him, gauging his reaction. "I don't know if I'm ready to leave Joey."

"That's ok," John responded, "I'm not asking you to make a choice. I just wanted to know how you felt. That's all I've ever asked of you."

"I know," she said, her eyes welling up. "You and I both know that sometimes love isn't enough to make things work, so I don't want to jump into anything too fast."

"That makes sense," he said. "I don't blame you. You have a lot to think about here. You and Joey have a lot of history. I respect that."

"I know you do," Kelly smiled, "that's one of the reasons that I want to tell you this."

John was silent as he waited for her to continue.

"I'm going to give Joey back the ring and I'm going to tell him how I feel about you. If he can't handle it, and he's not willing to work through this, then he made the decision for me. If he's willing to try, I've got to try, John. I owe us that."

John shook his head. He understood and she was right. That was the fair thing to do.

"John," Kelly said, making sure she had his full attention, "I will never exclude you from anything in our life." She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. "No matter how this turns out, whether Joey and I get married or if we go our separate ways, you and I will always be in each other's lives and you will never just be a friend to me."

John smiled and leaned over to softly kiss her head. "Same here," he whispered.

* * *

The sun was nearly setting when Joey finally collected himself enough to return to the bedroom.

Kelly opened her eyes as she heard the footsteps in the hall.

"Hey," he said softly, sitting beside her on the bed.

"Hi," she said, quietly

For a moment, neither of them spoke. Kelly felt as if her heart were breaking. She never wanted to hurt Joey. He loved her and she knew it and she was certain that she loved him too, but there was something between her and John, and it was only fair to him, that she tell him.

"Joey," she began…

"Wait," he said, "Come here," Joey pulled her into a hug and softly rubbed her back as he felt her body shake with the soft sobs. "It's ok," he said and he laid his head on her shoulder. "Whatever it is….it's ok."

As Kelly pulled away, she forced a smile as she felt Joey brushing the tears away. "I'm so sorry, Joey. I never wanted to hurt you."

"I've hurt you plenty of times. It's my turn," he said with a slight laugh.

Kelly returned the laugh with a small one of her own, then both turned serious.

"Kel," Joey said, looking her in the eye, "Did we make a mistake here?"

"I love you, Joey. I have no doubts about that. It's just that…." She felt the all too familiar sting of tears in her eyes again.

"What? What is it?" Joey asked her. He hated to see her in pain like this, but these were questions he had to ask.

"You were right," she said, fighting to maintain a calm demeanor, "John and I….he's more than a friend."

Joey nodded and lowered his head, "I know," he said quietly.

The tears ran down her cheeks, "I don't know for sure what it is….I do know that I don't want to lose you, Joey. I want to be with you, but it's not fair for me to keep this right now," she said, as she slipped the ring off her finger.

"Kelly," Joey whispered, his own voice breaking, "it's yours…keep it…You don't need to."

"No, see I do," she said…"because the next time I take this ring from you, I'm gonna be sure about what it means."

"So you're giving me the ring back, does that mean we're over?," Joey asked, his eyes now filled with tears.

"We've never been over," she whispered, reaching for his hand. "I love you, Joey Buchanan….and if you're willing to stay on this ride with me and see where it all ends up…I'm in."

Joey smiled at her, "I love you too. For tonight, we'll just go with that." Joey leaned back against the headboard, and pulled Kelly close to him…"There's just one thing," he said, feeling Kelly's head shift as she looked up at him.

"What?" Kelly asked, her voice a little concerned.

"Is John McBain a better snuggler than me?" Joey said, his mouth curling into a small smile.

"He's not bad," Kelly said with a small laugh, "but we've had more practice."

* * *

John closed the file that was sitting on his desk and pushed his chair back slightly. Leaning his head against the headrest, he closed his eyes briefly. He missed her. The last few weeks had been nice. He'd seen Kelly a few times and those times had been the highlights of his days. But he always left her…he always left knowing that Joey would be coming home. He knew Joey loved her and, as much as he wished she didn't, he knew she loved him too, but in his mind, he kept returning to the moment she'd told him the truth…the moment when she admitted that she thought she loved him.

John gently picked up the sonogram photo and smiled. "You're what's important here," he said quietly.

"I'm glad you feel that way," Joey said as he stood in the doorway.

John looked up quickly, placing the photo back on his desk, "You knock?" he asked, his face slightly less than welcoming.

Joey stepped into his office, closing the door behind him.

"This isn't your house," John said, standing, and walking towards him, "you don't just come barreling in here without knocking."

"And why is that, John?" Joey asked, his voice dripping with anger and sarcasm, "Is it disrespectful? Tell me is it as disrespectful as trying to sleep with a man's fiancé?"

John sighed, "Are we back to that again?

"We never left that." Joey responded his voice raised.

"I'm not trying to sleep with her, Joey," John said, annoyed with the constant explanations, "I care about her, but I respect what she wants and for some reason…she wants to be with you right now."

"Yeah," Joey said, "she loves me John….and you hate that, don't you? You hate that she wants to be with me."

"You wanna know what I hate?" John said, coming from around his desk and approaching Joey. He could feel his anger rising and he knew he had to keep calm. They were, after all, in the middle of a police station. "I hate that you are here right now….instead of home with her. I hate that you are so insecure that you need to be here….running your mouth instead of at home with that woman that you claim to love so much." John clenched his fists tightly and took a deep breath. "I would never force Kelly to choose between us. I care about her too much to do that to her, but the way you're going….you're making the choice for her."

Joey was silent. "Forget it," Joey said, "You're a waste of breath." Slinging the door open, Joey stormed out of the office.

John returned to his chair and fell into it. Maybe this time, he'd finally gotten through to him.

* * *

Kelly carefully printed the information on the clipboard and smiled at the woman as she slid it under the glass. Taking a seat in the waiting room, she crossed her arms nervously in front of her. This would be her first routine appointment since her fall and, although the doctor at the hospital had assured her that everything was fine, she'd feel better once her own doctor confirmed it. Besides that, today she hoped they'd see a little more. 13 weeks….Judging by everything she'd read, and from what she remembered, she thought they'd be able to hear the heartbeat today. She smiled as she thought about the possibility.

"Hi," John said, taking a seat beside her, "I would have been here earlier but traffic was terrible." He leaned in to softly kiss her cheek. "You look good," he said, smiling down at the still bulge of her belly that still seemed new to him.

Kelly smiled. "Thanks," she whispered.

John looked at her for a long moment. She was putting on a brave face, but he could tell she was worried, "Hey," he said, placing his hand on top of hers as she rested it on her stomach, "the baby is going to be fine. The doctor said there was absolutely no reason to be concerned. Everything is just fine."

"I know," she said shakily, "It's just..I…." Her voice broke…

"Let me get you some water," John said, as he stood, "I'll be right back."

Joey entered the room and made his way over to Kelly, "Sorry I'm late," he said, before Kelly even had a chance to speak, "we had this photo shoot that ran long. I hate that you were here by yourself."

"Actually, she wasn't," John responded, standing over them with a cup of water. As he handed Kelly the water, he looked back at Joey, "Kelly's been in good hands. I've been taking great care of her…of both of them."

* * *

"Ms Cramer" the nurse called from the doorway at the far end of the room.

Kelly sighed, thankful for the interruption. She could literally feel the tension building between the two mean and the last thing she wanted to do was break up a fight in the middle of a crowded waiting room. She headed for the exam room with both Joey and John trailing behind her.

The nurse passed Kelly a thin gown and stepped out of the room.

Kelly placed the gown on her lap and looked at the two men, "Could the two of you give me a minute?" she asked quietly.

"Sure," John said, stepping outside as Joey followed him. As the door closed behind him, Joey noticed John's smirk.

"What?" he said.

"Nothing," John remarked with a sly grin. "That's just…Really? Still?"

"Why don't you shut the hell…" Joey was interrupted by the arrival of the doctor.

"Good afternoon, gentlemen. I take it Ms. Cramer is ready to begin?" he asked as he rapped on the door.

As the three of them stepped inside, Kelly leaned back on the table. The doctor exchanged pleasantries as he set up the equipment and began his exam.

"What is going on?" she hissed at Joey, noting his expression.

"Nothing…it's just that guy really gets to me," he snarled through clenched teeth.

"Me?" John said feigning innocence.

A high pitched whirring noise echoed through the room causing the three of them to still.

"Is that?" John smiled, becoming all too aware of what he was hearing.

"That's your baby's heartbeat," the doctor replied.

John stepped closer to Kelly as he moved towards the screen. Reaching for her hand, he whispered, "that's unbelievable"

Joey watched as the two of them shared the moment. Stepping back a bit he wondered if this was the beginning of the end of his dream.

* * *

Joey sat at his desk and stared at his calendar. This couldn't have come at a worse time. Yes, an on location photo shoot in New York City was a huge step in the right direction for his photography career, but given the situation with Kelly, he hated the thought of being gone for a few hours, let alone a few days.

In the weeks following their last appointment, he'd stood back and watched as John and Kelly had little moments together. Sure, it seemed innocent enough and Kelly never intentionally excluded him, but he couldn't help but feel like a third wheel sometimes and that's what made him crazy.

When he told her about the trip, he'd suggested that she come with him. It could be a mini vacation for them….give them a chance to reconnect away from all the stresses more importantly away from John McBain, but she'd said no, and for good reasons.

Kelly was worried about leaving town. Given the problems she'd had with her previous pregnancies, it made sense she was cautious and this time hadn't exactly been a smooth run, she said she wanted to be close to her doctor…just in case, and he couldn't fault her for that. If she came with him, and something happened, he'd never forgive himself and to honestly, he worried Kelly might not ever forgive him either.

Still her reassurance that she'd be fine didn't make him feel any better…especially the part when she told him that she could call John if she needed anything…that John would take care of her.

"I bet he would," he muttered out loud. Still, he didn't have a choice. Turning this opportunity down would be career suicide. Joey picked up his airline tickets and walked towards the door, grabbing the handle of his rolling suitcase. He'd just have to trust that everything he was leaving behind would still be here when he got back.

* * *

As she typed on the laptop keyboard, Kelly smiled. It felt good to be back at work…even if it was from home. The ringing of the phone captured her attention and she moved to answer it, "Hello".

"Kelly, Hi," John said, propping his arm on his desk as he stared at the yellow baby book on his desk. "How are you?"

Kelly smiled. John was always calling just to check in. It was nice that he cared so much, and yet she hated that she couldn't offer him more than admissions of feelings. "I'm fine, John. How are you?"

"Fine," he responded. "Look, umm..I have something…I'd like to give you, but I wanted to make sure that Joey wasn't there. Not that I'm trying to hide it or anything…it's just that I didn't want to cause a scene or anything."

Kelly stopped him. "John…John. Joey's out of town. He'll actually be gone until the end of the week."

John's breath stilled, "really? Umm..I didn't know that. So you're there by yourself?"

"I'm fine. Everything is fine. The baby is fine. You don't have to worry about me," she said softly, "but thank you for caring."

"Of course I care, and I've told you, you don't have to thank me. " He paused for a moment considering the offer, then decided to continue. "Look, um, I was going to just bring this by, but why don't I stop and pick up some dinner for us? Nothing too fancy…just dinner. We can talk and hang out. I'll keep you company."

Kelly thought about it for a moment. She missed talking with John. "John,"

John lowered his head, "Never mind," he said, defeated…"It was a bad idea. I never should have suggested that we…"

"John," Kelly said, a little louder, "I was going to say that I would love for you to come over tonight."

John smiled. He would get to spend the evening with the two most important people in his life.

* * *

"Hang on, I'm coming," Kelly yelled as she wrapped the towel around her wet hair and cinched the tie around her robe. Surely John wasn't here this early, she thought. It was barely five o'clock.

As she neared the door and peeked through the windowpane, all she saw were bags on top of boxes on top of more bags. "John," she said, barely cracking the door.

"Yeah," came the voice behind the bag. "Let me just sit these down," he said smiling at her as he pulled his head from the behind the leaning tower.

Kelly laughed, "What on earth is all this?"

"Well," John stuttered…"I wasn't sure what you wanted. I was going to get pizza but then I thought sometimes pregnant women…they get heartburn, so I thought I'd get chicken, but then I thought…what if you don't like chicken?, so I thought, I'd get Chinese, but what if you can't eat MSG, so I went to get you a salad, but then I thought maybe you'd think I thought you needed salad and I don't. I think you're beautiful…"

Kelly smiled. "You mean, you didn't get any ribs? I've really had a craving for ribs."

John headed back to the door, "I'll go get ribs. I know this great place not far from here."

Kelly grabbed his arm, "John…John…I'm kidding. Actually, I love pizza and chicken and Chinese and salad. In fact, I can probably eat all week with all this food. This was very sweet. Thank you," she said leaning in and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Oh," John said, and I almost forgot… "I do know one thing about you," he pulled out a carton of Ben and Jerry's strawberry cheesecake ice cream, "A little birdie told me that this was your favorite."

Kelly smiled, "Hmmm…very sneaky. Does that little birdie have a name?" she asked, knowing all too well Blair had a hand in this.

"I cannot reveal my sources," John said with a grin.

"Fair enough," Kelly responded as she ripped the plastic wrap from the outside of the container.

"No..No..No," John said, with a smile. "No ice cream before dinner….after all, what message would it send to the little one here?" He put his hand on Kelly's stomach and smiled. He still couldn't believe he was actually going to be a father. As Kelly had progressed in the pregnancy he had actually began to let himself dream about the day when their child would be born and at their appointment next week they were supposed to find out if it was a boy or girl.

"Ok..Ok," Kelly said, handing him the ice cream, with a mock pout. Then leaning down and speaking to her belly, she said, "Your Daddy is ruining all my fun." She stopped as she caught the look on John's face.

"What is it?" she asked, concerned.

"Nothing," he said, his voice raspy, thanks to the lump rising in his throat, "it's just hearing you say it makes it…I don't know…real."

Kelly took his hand and placed it on her belly, "This is real, John. You're going to be a father. This little girl or boy is yours and he or she is going to love you so much."

John turned away as he felt the tears welling in his eyes.

Kelly leaned against his back and placed her chin on his shoulder. "Softie," she said with a smile, as she gave him a slight hug and headed into the kitchen to grab some plates.

* * *

"So," John said with a big smile, "Is it safe to say you like Chinese food?"

"Don't pick on me. I'm eating for two," she said, in mock offense. "Besides, you put away quite a few slices of that pizza if I were keeping track."

John nodded, taking a sip from the bottle of water he'd brought with him. "I guess you probably don't have room for ice cream now."

"Pshhh…" Kelly scoffed with a big grin, "I've always got room for ice cream."

"Why don't I go take this stuff into the kitchen and I'll get it," John said, standing up.

"Ok," Kelly said, "and John.."

He looked back to see what she needed.

"Bring two spoons," she said with a smile.

Kelly leaned back against the couch cushions and sighed. This night had really been a nice change for her. Being with John like this was something she'd really missed. Sure, at first their primary source of communication had been primal, but as their relationship matured, so had their communication. They talked to each other and they'd gained a deeper understanding for what the other was going through. He was, she thought, one of her closest friends, regardless of whatever else she felt for him.

Running her hand over her stomach, she smiled as she felt the baby flutter. "You know what, little one?" she whispered, "you've got a really great Daddy. He loves you a lot and I just know that you're gonna love him too."

John entered the room with the carton of ice cream and two spoons. "Who are you talking to?" he asked with a smile.

"Oh," she said, a little embarrassed, "well, I was talking to the uh…to the baby. They say they can recognize your voice and that they can hear you."

John sat there, starting at her for a moment. He sat the carton of ice cream down on the coffee table. "Could I…I mean would you mind if I…could I try?" he said, a little nervous about the concept.

Kelly felt her eyes burn a bit with fresh tears. John's sincerity still touched her, "Sure," she said smiling. "I'd like that." She gently took his hand and put it on her stomach. "Just tell her..or him who you are," she said quietly.

John looked up at her, "You know what…it's ok..maybe later." He couldn't do this. It was too odd. Too strange.

"No, John, go ahead," Kelly said and she placed her hand over his.

John cleared his throat…"Hi, there," he said, looking up at Kelly, who nodded at him to continue. "This is your Dad and I'm really looking forward to meeting you. I'm really happy you're here," he said, his voice breaking a bit.

Kelly felt a tear escape from her eye and reached up to wipe it away.

"Is that good?" John asked, a little concerned that maybe he'd said something wrong.

"It's perfect," Kelly said, as she put her hand over his again.

* * *

"Can I ask you something personal?" Kelly said, looking over at John.

"I think we might be a little past that point," John said with a grin. "After all, I've kind of seen you naked."

Kelly laughed, "Yes, you have, but seriously, it's about something more personal than that."

"More personal than naked? Wow..this must be something," John replied, suddenly rather interested.

"It's just that….didn't Natalie..I mean didn't you do these things with Natalie and Liam?" Kelly asked hesitantly. John's enthusiasm regarding the pregnancy was heartwarming and she was thrilled that he was so excited, but it did make her wonder about his involvement in Liam's arrival.

"Well, yeah," John said. "I did, but with Natalie….the whole Marty thing was still being thrown in the mix and it was really hard for either of us to relax and then Liam ended up not…" He stopped…"Well, you know".

Kelly reached up and touched his face. "Yeah, I know. You're really going to be a great Dad," she said softly.

"Thanks for saying that. You know…I didn't know until the whole thing with Marty how much I wanted to be a father, but now…I just really can't wait…."

"Me either," Kelly whispered.

* * *

John took another spoonful of the ice cream, "This stuff really is addictive you know. They should put a surgeon's general warning on it or something."

Kelly laughed "Right…Consuming excess quantities may cause fatty deposits on thighs, hips and butt," she said with a smile.

"Uh oh," John said, pretending to look behind him. "I better put this fork down now."

"Trust me, you're just fine," Kelly said, still smiling.

"Oh, you've noticed, have you?" John said, testing the waters slightly.

"I'm pregnant, not dead, John," Kelly said with a smile. "Speaking of pregnant," she said in a tone exaggerating the need for a change of subject, "You know we have another doctor's appointment next week. Hopefully they'll be able to tell us the sex of the baby..if the little one cooperates."

John nodded. "I was thinking it had to be soon."

"Do you want to know?" Kelly asked.

"It doesn't matter," John said…"I mean, with Liam it was a surprise, but this whole thing has been a surprise. Everything about you and me and this baby has been a big surprise, so I guess we could find out…"

"Ok," Kelly replied, "It's settled, we'll find out." She took another small spoonful, "My hips are pretty much doomed anyway," she said with a smile.

"Not from where I'm sitting," John said flirtatiously.

"Moving along," Kelly said with a grin, "What would you like to have…a boy or a girl? I mean…have you thought about it?"

John stopped for a moment. "I have actually. I know most men would say they wanted a little boy to take to the game and to take hunting and fishing and all the man stuff, but I don't know. I mean, I would love to have a boy, but there's something about a little girl….a little girl that looked like you," he said softly.

* * *

"What about you?" John asked her quietly. "Do you have a preference?"

"Oh…I just want him or her to be healthy and happy," Kelly said as she gently rubbed her belly. "I mean, I have Zane, so a girl would be great, but I'd love another little boy too."

"Have you thought about names?" he asked her, as he reached up and touched her hair.

"Not really?" she said softly, moving a little closer to him, almost without realizing it. "You?"

"Actually," John started, "I did think of something…if it's a girl. I was thinking maybe we could name her after your Mom."

The tears were instantaneous and there was no stopping them.

"Hey, Hey," John said, in a soothing voice, gathering her in his arms, "I'm sorry…I didn't mean to upset you. Forget I said anything. We'll think of something else. You come up with a name."

"No..No," Kelly said, pulling away for a moment, "It's a beautiful idea. I just…I can't believe that you would think of something like that."

John carefully wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I know how hard it was on you to lose your Mom and I just thought that this was a way we could honor her…a way you could always remember her…and one day, when our baby is old enough, you can tell her about your Mom and about how much she loved you and about how much she would have loved her."

The tears fell faster.

John smiled, "I hate making you cry," he said softly.

Kelly took a breath. "If you let everyone see the person that I see….you'd be beating women off with a stick," she said, laughing through the tears.

"Right," John scoffed.

"It's true," Kelly said, seriously, "You put on this act like you're so serious and tough, but underneath you have such a huge heart and you care so much about the people in your life. I just….I…" She paused for a moment to collect herself. "I'm just so grateful that you're here."

John looked at her and carefully took her face in his hands, "There is nowhere on earth I'd rather be."

* * *

John smiled as he sat on the couch beside her. Moments before they'd been talking about the baby, and now, she was here, snuggled up beside him, her head resting on his shoulder—sleeping peacefully. He glanced down at her face and sighed. He could stay like this for hours. He carefully moved his hand across her stomach, careful not to disturb her. Even now, it was hard for him to believe. He was getting another chance..another chance to be a father…another chance to have a family and he couldn't be happier.

Kelly moved slightly and John stilled. She looked back at him, "Sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to pass out on you."

"It's fine. Really," he responded, carefully stroking her hair, "you sleep. I like watching you sleep."

Kelly smiled. "Hmmm..you like watching me sleep, huh? I can't decide if that's really sweet or kind of creepy."

John laughed, "Let's go with sweet," he said, "You're really beautiful, you know that, right?"

Kelly felt her face blush. "Right," she said, rolling her eyes slightly.

"No," John said, seriously, "I mean it…you are….and I'm not just saying that to get…well, you know."

"John," she said, her voice soft and steady, "I don't think that at all….Why would you say that?"

"It's just something Joey said the other day," he admitted, ashamed to say that his words had gotten to him.

Kelly sighed heavily. "Joey came to see you?"

"Look, it's nothing for you to worry about, "John insisted. "He just said that all I was doing was trying to sleep with you and he seems to really believe that. I just want you to know…none of this has anything to do with that. I love you, Kelly. I do. I don't know how all this happened or even when it all started, but I do know why.." John looked at her as he took a breath. "I love you because you're unpredictable and you never do what you're supposed to. I love you because you take chances and you're willing to walk through fire for the people you care about. I love that you're so vulnerable in some ways, but so strong in others, and I love that you don't like others to see how vulnerable you are unless you really trust them."

Kelly listened to him as he continued. Everything in her believed every word he said. Her mind knew she shouldn't. Logic said it was a bad idea, but she'd never been good at listening to rational arguments. She leaned in and kissed him. As he began to kiss her back, her mind warned her to stop, but her body didn't listen. It never did.

* * *

"Wait," John said, immediately cursing himself.

Kelly froze. "What?" she said, looking at him with a smile. "I'm sorry, did you just say wait?"

John smiled too. "I know. I know. I'm having a hard time with it myself, but as much as I really want to do this and believe me…I really…really…really want to do this, I don't think it's right."

Kelly leaned back on the couch and shook her head, "you're right. It would just make things more complicated than they already are."

"Right," he said, sadly, "I care about you way too much to do anything that will hurt you and I think after this was over, you'd regret it."

Kelly looked at him, "You mean, I'd regret it when Joey found it."

John sighed, "That too. Besides, I don't want to feel like the other guy who sneaks in while the husband is out of town on business."

Kelly quickly took his hand, "John, I never meant to imply that…."

"It's ok," he said shaking his head to indicate he understood, "I know that. I just mean, I don't want us to have to sneak around here. I don't want our relationship to be about that. I want to build something real with you. If there's any chance of us having anything together, we need to start by making sure we can be together and be happy outside of the bedroom." He looked at Kelly, noting the sad expression on her face. Touching her chin with his fingers, he added, "Because we both know we're very happy in the bedroom."

The comment garnered a smile from Kelly, and at the moment, that was all John wanted to see.

* * *

Kelly scraped the bottom of the ice cream carton, "That should do it," she said, with a smile, handing the empty carton over to John.

"We must dispose of the evidence," he said laughing gently, as he stood and walked towards the kitchen.

Her cell phone's chipper ringtone grabbed her attention. She glanced at the caller ID, 'Joey'. "Hi," she said, her voice slightly hesitant.

"Hi, how are you?" Joey asked her. He sat on the edge of his bed in the hotel room. He'd been sitting there most of the evening. Sure, he could be out on the town, seeing the sights, having a drink, but he couldn't. He couldn't stop thinking about everything he'd left back home…and the person he'd left it with. "Is everything ok?" he asked, noting her strange tone.

"Oh yeah," she said, trying to sound more normal. "Everything's fine here. The baby's fine."

"Hey, Kelly," John yelled from the kitchen, "Do you have any decaf coffee? I thought I'd make us a pot?"

Joey fell silent for a moment as he recognized the voice. "John's there?" he asked.

Kelly sighed, "Yeah. He called and asked if he could bring supper over and I told him sure. That's all," she said softly, leaving out the part about the kiss.

After a few moments without Joey's comments, Kelly spoke again, "Joey, are you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm here," he said, his voice a little cold. "I just didn't realize you'd be entertaining while I was gone."

"Joey," she said quietly, "This is hardly entertaining, I just…" She heard the click of the phone as the connection was severed. Feeling the tears well up in her eyes, she began to cry. This is not how she wanted things to happen. This is not the way her relationship with Joey was supposed to go. Even if things ended, this isn't how they were supposed to.

John entered the room, "did you say you had decaf…" Nothing the tears, he was at her side in seconds, "What's wrong?" he asked her, his voice full of concern.

She didn't answer. She couldn't. Allowing him to pull her into his arms, she just let him hold her as she cried.

* * *

John sat quietly with his arm around her. Neither of them spoke. This was what she needed. She didn't need Joey trying to make her feel guilty, and she certainly didn't need him questioning her as to what she was feeling. She needed someone to be there, and that was something he could do.

Kelly looked over at him, "Thanks," she said quietly. "I know you probably think I need to be medicated or something," she whispered with a slight smile.

John shook his head, "No..No I don't. I think you're going through a lot here. You're pregnant and you're confused and you've got too very stubborn men who are constantly badgering you to answer questions that you don't have the answers to."

Sighing, she nodded, "You're right about that. I certainly don't have the answers." She leaned her head back against the couch, "God…I wish I knew what I wanted the answers to be." Looking over at John, her expression softened, "I do know one thing," she said, as she raised her hand to his face, "I'll never be able to tell you how much it means to me that you've been here through all this. That I haven't ran you off yet with all this craziness."

"Nah," he smiled, "Craziness doesn't scare me…now if you start acting all sane, I might worry," he laughed.

She laughed as she grasped his hand, then her expression turned serious, "John," she said, looking at him, "Do you think we could ever make this work? I mean, seriously, can the three of us ever make any sort of arrangement work?"

John sat for a moment, pondering the question. "I don't know, Kelly," he answered honestly. "I don't know if I can sit back you make a life with Joey, and it doesn't look like he's very comfortable with the fact that you're spending time with me."

"So, that's a no?" she said softly, lowering her head. She knew they were in an almost impossible situation. Asking Joey and John to get along was a very tall order.

"Well," John responded with a sigh, "There's a lot to consider here. It's been difficult already and we haven't even gotten into the tough stuff." He looked at Kelly. "Like, who's going to be with you in the delivery room and who's going to be there in the birthing course? And then after the baby is born, it's gonna be weeks before the baby can be away from you, so what? I'm just out of luck until then?"

Kelly felt tears begin to run down her cheeks again, "I…"

John reached up to brush them away, "I'm not trying to upset you Kelly, but I think it might be time for us to get serious here. It might be time for the three of us to sit down like adults and talk this out."

Kelly sighed. She knew John was right. She just hoped they were all capable of being adults in this situation.

* * *

John stood by the door. "Now you're sure you'll be ok here by yourself tonight?" he asked her, still unsure that she was completely over Joey's phone call.

Kelly nodded. "I'll be fine. You were right about what you said before. We all just need to sit down and talk about this. We've got a lot of decisions to make and," she rubbed her hand across her belly and smiled slightly, "not a lot of time to make them."

John smiled too. Even though things had been pretty crazy, the thought of being a Dad made everything ok…and totally worth it. "Oh, I almost forgot" he said, gesturing to a bag on the table, "the whole reason I was stopping by in the first place. I wanted to bring you something."

"You didn't have to do that," Kelly said, stepping away from the door a bit.

"Why don't we sit down for a minute?" John suggested.

"Uh oh," she said with a smile, "This is a present I want, right?"

"I hope so," he replied as he pulled a box wrapped in yellow ribbon from the bag. "Here," he said, handing the box to her, "Open it."

Kelly carefully pulled the ribbon off the box and peeled the tape with her nail. As she lifted the lid, she felt her eyes well a bit. "John," she whispered, I can't believe you did this.

* * *

"I know you probably want to do your own and everything," he said, "but I wanted to get one started. I figured with things being kind of crazy the last few weeks, you probably hadn't had a chance to get one of these….and besides, this one is a little different"

Kelly opened the book. The yellow cover decorated with slightly raised ducks was accented with a picture window. In the window was a picture of her mother, a couple that she assumed were John's parents, a picture of her with John, and a blank space. "What's the space for?" she asked.

"Well," John said, "I wasn't sure if you'd want to put a picture of you and Joey there or if you'd want to put Dorian or maybe a picture of the baby when he..or she is born," he admitted. He studied her face, anxious to see if she was upset or if he'd overstepped. Concerned that she hadn't said much of anything, he began, "Look, I can take it back,"

"Don't you dare," Kelly said smiling, and covering his hand with her own as he went to reach for it. "This is really, really sweet and this baby is so lucky to have a father that would do something so wonderful..to make something like this," she stopped then, her voice breaking. "You said it was different, what did you mean?"

John cleared his throat slightly, and opened the book so she could see inside. "Umm, well, it's not like a baby book. I figured you would get one of those for yourself. This is actually a book of letters. It's supposed to be for parents to write letters to the baby before it's born. The idea is that when the kid is older they can have it…so they'll know…you know, how much they were loved," he paused to look at Kelly, "how much they were wanted. I went ahead and wrote one in there, but I skipped a few pages, so that you could be first. I figured you could and maybe if Joey wanted to."

Kelly swallowed hard. She'd never imagined John could be so incredibly sensitive. "Do you mind if I…I mean, can I read it?" she asked.

John nodded, looking away a bit.

Kelly opened the book and began to read.

* * *

_Dear Baby,_

_Sorry I don't know your name yet. In fact, I don't even know if you're a boy or a girl, but I do know one thing, I really, really love you. I didn't know if I'd get another chance to have a baby and be a father, so I'm really looking forward to meeting you and getting to know you, and most of all getting to be a part of your life. You're going to find out sooner or later that our family isn't exactly normal, but I'm gonna let you in on a little secret….Normal is overrated. It's boring, and if there's one thing we're not…it's boring._

_Our family may be a little loud and a little different, but we all love you a whole lot. You're a really lucky kid. Your mom really wanted you from the moment she knew about you and so did I. We're both going to do everything we can to give you the best life a kid could have. I promise that I'll always love you and I'll always take care of you …and your Mom if she needs me. Sometimes I might not be able to be with you in person, but know that I'm always thinking about you…no matter where you are or who you're with. You're always in my heart…Don't ever forget that. I love you always._

_Love,_

_Daddy_

Kelly closed the book gently. "John," she whispered, standing from the couch and joining him as he looked out the window into the front yard. "That was really beautiful."

John didn't speak. She didn't push him. She simply wrapped her arms around him and softly kissed his shoulder.

* * *

Kelly sat and stared at the blank page. What could she say to this little person whose life she'd created and already screwed up. She felt as if she owed this baby an apology already and it wasn't even born. Holding a pen in her hand she thought back to the conversation she'd had with John just before he'd left that evening.

"How did you know what to write?" she asked, still amazed at the ease of his words on the paper.

John had just shrugged and looked at her with those crystal blue eyes, "I just wrote what I felt," he'd admitted.

"Just write what I feel," Kelly sighed as she put the pen to the paper.

_Someday, when you're older, I'll explain exactly how you came to be. I'll talk to you about how sometimes people do things without thinking about consequences. I'll tell you that one night can change your life forever. That's what happened to me. No matter what anyone may tell you, or what you might hear anyone say…you were never, ever a mistake. I never thought that, no matter how crazy things were. I always thought you were a wonderful surprise. _

Kelly paused for a moment, considering what she'd written, wondering if perhaps she was being too honest. No, she thought, she should be honest. Her child had a right to know and she had a responsibility to tell the truth. She continued, the words coming easier now.

_You actually aren't my first baby. You have a brother in heaven and an older brother. His name is Zane, and I'm sure he'll tell you that I made a lot of mistakes with him. I hope he'll also tell you that he's always known how much I loved him. That is one thing I can promise you. This world is a crazy place and you can't be sure of many things, but I can promise you that I will never stop loving you. There is nothing you could ever do or say that would make me not love you. _

_Sometimes I feel like my whole world is a little out of control and then I'll feel you kick. I think sometimes you're trying to remind me that you're there and that, no matter how alone I might feel at the moment, that I'm never really alone. I can't wait to meet you. I can't wait to hold you and rock you and do all the things that mothers get to do. I love you so much, little one. You are the most important thing in the world to me. _

_I love you,_

_Mom_

* * *

It was nearing midnight when he pulled into the driveway. He was happy to see Kelly's car parked alone—at least John wasn't here with her. Joey sighed. He hated the way he'd left things after their phone call, but he didn't know what to say anymore. He loved Kelly and he wanted things to work with her more than anything in the world, but he hated the thought of her leaning on John. He hated the thought of sharing her with him, but more than anything else he hated knowing that John was better at this than he was. Somehow John knew what to do in every situation and it killed him to see him taking care of Kelly in a way that he couldn't.

Joey quietly opened the door and wheeled his suitcase inside. He reached underneath the small shade of the desk lamp, which cast a small ray of light onto the living room. Certain Kelly was already asleep, he sat on the couch. Honestly, he didn't mind the quiet. It would give him some time to think…some time to figure out exactly what it was he needed to say. As he leaned his head back on the couch cushions, his eyes rested on a yellow book on the table in front of him. Curious, he reached for it. Opening the pages, he began to read.

* * *

Joey quietly crept into the bedroom and looked at her. Carefully, he pulled the covers up over her shoulders and smiled as she snuggled under them.

"I love you," he whispered quietly as he left the room, careful not to disturb her. As he returned to the living room, he picked up the book. Reaching into his jacket pocket he grabbed his pen. He was ashamed of himself. It wasn't that he didn't realize how important the baby had been to Kelly…it was just that he'd forgotten for a moment that the baby was all she was really worried about. He'd been so worried about himself and about John that he'd lost sight of what was really important, but she hadn't….and apparently, neither had John. That's what he was missing. That's what he needed to fix.

_Hi there. First of all, I want you to know that I love your Mom more than anything in the world, and I love you too. There are a lot of people in this town that really love you. Even though I'm not your Dad, I wouldn't love you any more if I were. I've loved your Mom since we were kids and I always will. I really hope I get a chance to be a big part of your life, but if I don't, I want you to know a few things about me and about your Mom._

_Your Mom is the most alive person I know. She makes everyone around her want to live their life to the fullest. She also really cares about the people she loves and she'll do anything she has to in order to protect them. You never have to worry as long as she's with you. She'll love you and protect you forever. _

_I can't remember a time when I haven't loved your Mom. I loved her even when I didn't know it. She was always in my heart. She's my best friend and the woman I hope to spend my life with. Even if we're not together, I'm sure we'll still be a part of each other's lives. We mean too much to each other. _

_You'll know by the time you read this that you have a Dad that loves you a lot. He'll be there for you and he'll take care of you. He loves you, but I want you to know that if you ever need me for anything, I'm there for you too. If you ever need a friend, I'm here. I love you…and your Mom and I always will._

_Love,_

_Joey_

Joey stopped for a moment and walked over to the desk. He took out a small slip of paper and began to write on it.

_Kelly,_

_You can take this out if you want. _

_Joey_

He took the paper and placed it on top of the freshly written letter. Closing the book, he lay back on the couch and pulled the throw down over him. Closing his eyes, he sighed. "Goodnight, Kelly" he whispered.

* * *

Morning came early. The lights flickered in through the shades of Kelly's bedroom window. She shielded her eyes a bit as she tried to adjust. Looking around she noticed nothing to indicate Joey's presence there. She'd knew his business in New York was over, but honestly, she hadn't really expected to see him last night. She didn't know what to expect anymore. Nothing was going the way she'd planned. As she grabbed her robe from the back of the chair, she sighed. She didn't want to call Joey. He'd call her when he was ready to talk. Pushing him certainly didn't seem like the answer, and as much as she wanted to, she knew she shouldn't call John. He didn't need to be her crutch all the time. Here lately he'd been her shoulder to lean on way too much and she knew she had to stop depending on him as much. He didn't deserve that. He deserved someone that could give him something back, and at the moment, she didn't know what she had that anybody would want.

She made her way into the living room and stopped. That lamp…she knew she turned that lamp off last night before she went to bed. Joey always made fun of her for being paranoid, but she always thought the shade got too warm after it had been on for too long. Things like that made her nervous. She reached up under the lamp and flipped it off, shaking her head. Maybe she was losing it. As she walked into the kitchen, she glanced at the appointment card on her refrigerator. . It was only a few hours til the doctor's appointment. She wondered if Joey would show. They were supposed to find out the sex of the baby today and she knew it was a big appointment. She'd written it on his calendar for him so he wouldn't forget. "He'll show," she said out loud, trying to reassure herself as she opened the refrigerator door. She smiled as she looked inside. A bowl of fruit, some freshly sliced cheeses and yogurt were assembled on a platter. A carafe of orange juice was sitting beside the plate. Joey had been there, she thought. He was there and yet he didn't say anything.

* * *

Kelly walked back into the living room, carrying another glass of orange juice. She glanced at the throw, which was neatly folded on the back of the couch. Even the fringe was neat. Clearly Joey slept here, she thought, smiling slightly. She'd seem him straighten the fringe on this cover many times, and it had even been a running joke between them. As she sat down, she saw the book John had given her sitting on the table.

Now it made sense, she thought. Now she knew why he didn't wake her. As she picked up the book, a small slip of paper fell out. Kelly's eyes read the words and she carefully opened the book. Her eyes filled with tears as she read the words.

She'd always known that Joey was jealous of John, but she had been completely wrong as to why. It wasn't just about her…Joey wanted to the man that Kelly was having children with. John was stealing his dream..his family. She slowly rubbed her hand over her belly, "You're not even here yet and you've already got people fighting over you," she sighed.

* * *

She placed her hand on her knee as she tried to physically make her leg stop shaking. It wasn't as if she was nervous about the exam exactly. She was excited for this appointment. Today she found out if she was having a son or a daughter and she was really looking forward to it. The anxiety stemmed from something entirely different. She knew that any minute two men were going to enter this room…two men that couldn't stand each other, and one that, at the moment, probably didn't think too highly of her.

Sighing heavily, she leaned down towards her stomach, "This is what you call an uncomfortable situation," she said, with a small smile…."try to stay out of those if you can." She looked up and rolled her eyes, "You're my kid…who am I kidding?"

As she heard the sound of the door behind her, she turned and saw Joey walking in. "Hi," she said, hesitantly, "I wasn't sure if you were coming."

Joey nodded. "I told you I'd be here for you. I'm not going to go back on that." He sat down next to her. Looking over at her, he awkwardly reached for her hand, "Look, I'm sorry about the other night. It's just that….hearing John's voice…I was just surprised,but I shouldn't have hung up like that. It was stupid and petty and I'm sorry."

Kelly's face softened. "It's ok," she whispered. "I'm just really glad you're here."

"So I am," John said, approaching the two of them from behind.

Joey turned and stood. "John," he said, his face not exactly unfriendly, but certainly not inviting. "Glad you could make it."

John smiled at Kelly, "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

* * *

"So? Can we do this?" Kelly asked looking at the two men with questioning eyes.

"I'm willing to give it a try," John said, slightly hesitant, but committal.

"I'll try if he will," Joey promised, still a bit stunned by what he'd seen in the room.

"Good," Kelly smiled. "Thank you. We've got to figure out a way to do this. This isn't about us anymore. This is about," she paused, rubbing her hand over her belly, as she smiled, "her…our little girl. She's going to be a part of all of our lives and we all have a responsibility to her."

John nodded, "What time do you want me to come?" he asked.

Kelly glanced over at Joey, "Does six sound ok with you?"

"It's fine," he said, forcing a smile.

"Can I bring anything?" John asked, noting Joey's enthusiasm. He had to admit, it sounded about as much fun as a root canal, but Kelly was right….it wasn't about them. This was about…his daughter. Even thinking the words in his head made the lump in his throat well up again.

"Beer," Joey stated dryly, "Lots of beer."

"You got it," John added with a bit of smile, "Who knows, maybe we'll bond."

Kelly sighed, "I'll settle for the two of you being civil and not throwing any punches," she said as she leaned in and gave John a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you tonight," she said, glancing back at the glare Joey gave him. If that was the response to a kiss on the cheek, she could only imagine what Joey would have to say if he knew what had almost transpired between the two of them the other night.

That, she thought, was definitely something best kept a secret.

* * *

Kelly glanced out of the window again. There was still no sign of Joey. "Where could he be?" she muttered out loud. Trying not to worry, she returned to her post on the couch. After leaving the doctor's office, she'd driven straight home, sure Joey was behind her. She assumed they'd talk when he got home, as they'd virtually said nothing to each other about what had transpired between them on the phone the other night.

As she heard his car pull up in the driveway, she breathed a sigh of relief. Thankful he was safe; she rose to meet him at the door. "Hi," she said softly as he walked in, "I was worried about you."

"Oh, sorry," Joey replied. He hadn't meant to worry her. In fact, he actually wasn't upset at her at all. "I should have called. I just wanted to pick something up." He reached into his pocket and held out a box in front of her. "Here," he said quietly.

Kelly stared at the box and then up at him, "You got me a gift?" she asked him, her eyes questioning, "I thought you were…." She stopped and removed the box from his hand. "Thank you," she softly responded.

"I ordered it a few weeks ago, but I got a call that it was ready earlier today. I know things have been a little…" He struggled to find the right words. What word do you use when the woman you love is pregnant with another man's child? A man she's admitted that she has feelings for?

"tense?" Kelly offered.

"That's a good word," Joey responded, smiling slightly, as he reached up to touch her hair, "but I don't want it to be like that anymore. I get that you're confused and I just want you to know that I understand you're focused on the baby right now. You should be. I love this baby too." He looked down at the box. "Go ahead. Open it."

Kelly carefully opened the box, and pulled out the necklace. "Joey, it's beautiful", she said as she held up the mother and child necklace complete with the brilliant blue stone.

"I wanted to get you something," he said, lowering his head a bit, "I wanted you to know that I cared about this baby. I want to be part of this," he said softly.

Kelly reached out and took his hand. "You are a part of this," she said, looking into his eyes. "I love you, Joey. I just can't promise you anything right now. I don't know what I want. I just know that right now, what I want isn't important. The only thing that is important here is this little girl and I have to make sure that I do right by her."

Joey nodded. "I know. I understand." He leaned in to gently kiss her forehead, "Just promise me you'll give us a chance. Promise me you won't give up on us," he said quietly.

Kelly softly kissed his lips, "I could never…ever give up on you."

* * *

John sat quietly on the couch. He still had a few hours before he had to be at Kelly's, which was good. He could use the time. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out the newest photo of his baby…his daughter. Smiling, he carefully traced the image on the paper. Allowing his mind to wander, he remembered the moments from a few hours earlier:

_Lightly grasping Kelly's hand, John tried not to pace beside the exam table. _

_"You ok?" she asked, glancing at his nervous expression._

_"I should be asking you that," John smiled, before adding, "yeah, just anxious."_

_The doctor looked over at them as he finished his notes on the chart. "Would the two of you like to know the sex of the baby?"_

_John and Kelly exchanged glances and John quietly confirmed, "Yes…we would."_

_"It's a girl and everything looks perfect," the doctor said with a smile. _

_In that moment, nothing else existed. No Joey, No doctor, nothing…just Kelly and him and the baby. He was going to have a daughter. A little girl._

John smiled as he stood from the couch. He carefully opened the desk drawer and slipped the photo inside. Spotting his jacket, he retrieved it from the back of the chair. He had a few errands to run before he went to Kelly's.

* * *

John stood in the middle of the store, more than a little overwhelmed. Who knew a baby could need so much stuff. As he walked around the aisles, he marveled at the variety. He knew a baby needed a stroller, but did a baby need a jogging stroller, an umbrella stroller, a full-size stroller, or a travel system?

Sighing, he moved down the line. He wanted to get something practical, he reasoned. It shouldn't be anything to indicate that he was trying to pressure her….Something for the baby…something for his daughter. The very thought of it made him smile.

As his eyes scanned the aisles, he saw it. The small pink basket sat among the myriad of other colors as if it were left there, just for him. Running his hand along the soft pink liner, he smiled. It was perfect. He tried to imagine his baby girl, curled up inside the Moses basket.

Carrying the basket to the register, he spied a pink elephant. As he turned it over, he was perplexed by the round, white ring on end the tail. Pulling it he listened as the peaceful notes of an Irish lullaby played. This, he thought, was the perfect finishing touch. Nestling the elephant inside the basket, he was content.

He watched the cashier as she carefully wrapped the package with a giant pink bow.

Nothing could spoil this day—not even a dinner with Joey.

* * *

"Well, that was nice." Kelly walked into the living room. She'd carried the entire conversation through dinner, and although both Joey and John had been polite and civil, neither had said much of anything.

"Yeah, it was. Thanks for having me," John said, smiling at her, not able to stop himself from looking down at her belly.

Kelly smiled. "This was good for us…" She looked back at Joey, "for all of us. We've got to learn to do things like this." As she moved to reach for her cup, she straightened suddenly, "Ow," she said, inhaling sharply.

Joey and John both quickly arrived at her side, "What is it?" Joey said, concerned.

"Is it the baby?" John asked, lightly touching her stomach. His face changed as he felt it. "Is that?" He looked up at Kelly.

"Yeah." Her eyes glistened as she looked at John's face. "Over here," she said, smiling at him as she moved his hand to left slightly.

John sat in silence, smiling at her. It was one thing to know that he was having a daughter. It was quite another feel her moving…to know that his baby..his daughter was actually moving and alive, right there…right in front of him. "That's….incredible," he whispered.

Joey quietly sat beside them, watching the moment. As he moved to stand, Kelly caught his arm, "Joey..wait. Do you want to?"

Joey shook his head, "It's ok," he smiled, "I'm just gonna get this stuff cleaned up."

Kelly smiled at him as he left the room. Looking back at John, she quietly touched her stomach, "You gonna kick again for Daddy?" she whispered.

Joey stood in the doorway watching them. They could have this moment, he thought. There would be others.

* * *

Joey slowly stacked the dishes in the dishwasher and began to package the leftovers up in the refrigerator. Trying desperately to distract himself from the happy laughter that drifted in through the living room, he continued to work. A part of him had always known that there would come a time when John would take a larger part in this pregnancy—it made sense, he was the father, but it didn't make it any easier. It certainly didn't make it hurt any less.

As he walked towards the door to look back into the room, he saw Kelly, smiling down at him. She used to look at me like that, he thought, his heart heavy. "It's all set," he said, slowly making his way back into the room.

John removed his hand quickly, as if he'd been caught doing something wrong. "I should go," he said quietly, still a little stunned by the magnitude of the moment. Awkwardly, he extended his hand towards Joey, "Thanks…for…dinner."

Joey shook his hand in return. "Sure." He knew this wasn't the last he'd see of him, and he tried not to resent the fact. He just hated seeing him make Kelly so happy. He wanted to be the one to make her smile like that.

As John moved towards the door, he caught sight of the pink basket, still wrapped with ribbon, "Oh." Picking it up, he walked over to Kelly, handing it to her. "I got this…for the baby."

As she moved to open the card, John stopped her. "No, you don't need to open it now. Just wait til I leave." He shifted his weight nervously. "I'm…gonna…I'm gonna go." He headed towards the door after smiling at Kelly.

As she heard the door shut, she looked over at Joey, still holding the card in her hand. "Wonder what that was about?"

"I don't know…it was strange. Even for John," he admitted. "Anyway, I'm wiped, so I know you've got to be tired. What do you say we call it a night?"

Kelly nodded and stood to walk towards the bedroom. She carefully placed the card back in the basket. Joey wrapped his arm around her and softly kissed her forehead. With that, the two headed down the hall.

* * *

She wasn't sure what time it was, but she knew it was late. Joey was sound asleep and she'd been careful not to wake him as she carefully slid out of bed. She'd given up on sleeping after a few hours of lying and staring at the ceiling. All she could think of was the card that John was so adamant she not read. What could it have said? She quietly made her way to couch and took great care not to make any excessive noise while breaking the seal. She smiled at the pink and white stripes on front, and was surprised by the insides that were filled with handwritten thoughts. Leaning back, she began to read….

_Dear Kelly,_

_I wish I was better at stuff like this. I've wanted to say so many things to you over the last few weeks, but I never knew how to say them. Sometimes I think about stuff too much and sometimes it just wasn't the right time. There are days that I wish more than anything that this was different…that it had all turned out different, and then there are days that I know I wouldn't change anything. _

_After everything that happened with Natalie, I was a wreck. You saved me. You reminded me that there was still a world out there and you taught me how to have fun again, but more than that, you gave me a gift that I can never thank you enough for—our daughter. If someone had told me a few months ago that you and I would be having a child together, I would have told them they were crazy, but now here we are. I want you to know that I know what this has cost you. I know that this isn't easy and I wish I could do something to make it better. _

_No matter what happens with all of this, I want you to know that I'll always be here for you. I'll be here to take care of you and our baby…No requirements. You will always have someone that loves you and wants the best for you. If Joey makes you happy, then you should be with him. That's what I want for you. Just remember that no matter what—you'll never…ever be alone._

_With all my love,_

_John_

Kelly slowly closed the card, and lowered it into her lap. John's words were completely sincere and she knew it. He wanted her to be happy, and he would be supportive of whatever and whoever afforded her that happiness. The problem was, she realized, that she no longer knew the answer herself.

* * *

Joey stepped into the living room and looked around. Kelly wasn't beside him when he woke up and he saw no sign that she'd been in the shower or in the kitchen. The living room had been the last place he checked, and now she wasn't here either. He glanced outside and noticed her car was gone. "Where would she go so early?" he wondered out loud.

Kelly pulled her jacket tighter around her. She hadn't even bothered to change for fear she'd wake Joey, but now as she walked through the parking lot, she wished she had. The walk up to John's room felt like an eternity, but in reality it couldn't have been more than a few minutes. She'd spent most of the night sitting on the couch reading and rereading his note, thinking about it, considering it, asking herself all the questions that it brought it. She still didn't have answers, but she knew she needed to talk to John. That had to be the first step. She glanced at her watch. It wasn't even 7. John was probably asleep. Knocking on the door lightly, she waited.

John sipped his coffee as he moved slowly towards the door, "This better be important," he grumbled as he opened the door. "Kelly," he said in surprise as he saw her standing there. Taking note of her attire, his mind immediately worried, "Is something wrong?"

Kelly glanced down, following John's gaze, "Oh, this?" she said, gesturing to the jacket, which gaped slightly to show the silk of her gown underneath. "No, I just…I was in a hurry. Can I come in?"

"Sure…Sure," John said, stepping aside to allow her to enter.

"Thanks," she said with a smile, stepping into the room and sitting down on the couch.

"Ummm, I have coffee, but I think I've got some juice or something if you want." John wasn't sure what to do. Kelly was clearly not here on a social call. Something was bothering her and he wanted to make sure she was as comfortable as possible.

"I'm fine," she said softly, as she reached into her front pocket. As she pulled the card out, she looked up at him, "I want to talk to you about this."

John looked at the floor, "Look…I'm sorry if I overstepped. I just wanted you to know…I mean, I just thought you should know how I felt…"

"It's beautiful," Kelly responded, cutting him off. "I can't even tell you how much it means to me that you took the time to say all of this." She stood, closing the distance between them. "I want you to know that I wouldn't change anything either. I know this hasn't been the perfect situation. I've hurt Joey and I never wanted to do that, but I couldn't ask for a better father for my child."

John looked into her eyes. He could see the possibility of tears there. "Kelly," he said, with slight hesitation in his voice, "Do you love Joey?"

Sighing, she looked up at him, "Yes," she admitted. "I think I always will, John. He was the first guy I ever loved and I'll always feel something really special for him. Even more than that, Joey loves me and I know that if it came down to it, he'd do anything in the world for me."

"And I wouldn't?" John asked, taking her hand in his. "I don't want to this to be about making a choice here, Kelly, but I'm afraid eventually…." He stopped himself, looking at her.

"I know," she said, lowering her head as she felt the first tear escape and slide down her cheek.

* * *

John slowly reached up to brush the tear from her cheek, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you." He hated seeing her upset, and no matter what he wanted or needed from her, he couldn't bring himself to upset her.

"No, you're right. I've got to make some decisions. You and Joey….it's not fair. It's not fair to either of you. I just..I don't even know the answer. I don't even know if I'm asking the right questions," she admitted sadly, placing her hand over her swollen belly. "I just know that I've got to make the right decision this time. I want her to grow up happy. I don't want it to be like it was for me."

John shook his head, "She will have both of us, no matter what you decide." He reached up and took her hand in his. "I meant everything I said in that card. I'm here for you no matter what."

Kelly felt the tears return. "I know you did. You're being so nice to me…I don't deserve it."

"Hey…Yeah, you do. You've been through a lot these last few months. I know this hasn't been easy for you. I know how much you wanted a life with Joey and you had it…it was right there and then this pregnancy just really…" John paused, considering what he would say…"well,it complicated things," he added smiling at her.

"Yeah," Kelly smiled back at him. "It definitely did, but I'm so happy she's here. You know," she looked up at John, "that's the only thing I'm sure of all the time. I might not have a clue what I want in my relationships, but I've never doubted for a second that I wanted her."

John nodded, "I know…me either." Looking at Kelly now, he knew he shouldn't say it, but he also knew he'd kick himself if he didn't. "For what it's worth, I know what I want to…I want you."

* * *

"John…I…" Kelly started to speak.

"No. I'm sorry. I'm not asking you to say anything. I just want you to know where I stand. I want you to know how I feel. You don't need any more pressure. You have enough to think about," he said smiling and gesturing to her stomach. "Here, why don't you sit down? I've got bagels and juice. It's not gourmet, but it'll kill hunger."

Kelly nodded, smiling. "Sounds good."

"So," John called from the kitchen, "You never told me why you had to leave the house in your nightgown this morning. What had you in such a hurry?"

"I…I just wanted to leave before Joey woke up," she admitted.

"Joey doesn't know you're here," John said, turning around to look at her. It wasn't that he was surprised exactly…it was just that he didn't realize Kelly saw these visits as something she needed to keep from him. He approached the couch and handed her a plate with a bagel and sat down the glasses of juice. "Does Joey have a problem with us spending time together?"

"No," she said, taking a small bite of the bagel, "I just…I didn't want him to think that I was choosing you over him."

"Weren't you?" John asked, unable to hide the small smile that crept up on his lips.

"Well…I mean. I just wanted to thank you for the card and the gift." Kelly shifted on the couch.

"You could have called me," John said, brushing her hair away from her face as it touched the bagel.

Kelly smiled. "You know what I mean. The card..and the elephant…and the basket…it was all so….sweet. I don't know….it just made me think that you're."

"That I'm what?" John said, looking her in the eye.

Kelly didn't speak for a moment, "That you're different than I thought," she said, pausing before continuing. "I guess I knew there was this side to you, but the more I see of it…." She looked at John, almost lost in the crystal blue of his eyes, "the more I want to see of it."

* * *

John jumped slightly as a knock on the door interrupted the moment. "Let me get that," he said, smiling as he put his glass on the table. "Don't know who it could be this early," he said as he made his way to the door way.

Kelly took a sip of the juice as she waited. In a way she was grateful for the interruption. Every feeling she had for John was countered by a feeling she had for Joey. She brought her hand to her heard as she waited for John to return. Suddenly her heart started to beat faster as she heard the voice on the other side of the door.

"Look, I know it's early," Joey said, "But Kelly wasn't home when I got up this morning and I'm worried. I just thought maybe…she'd…Is she here?"

John stood for a moment, unsure of what to say. He felt Kelly approaching behind him and moved aside.

"Joey," Kelly said quietly, "What are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question," Joey said, staring at her.

"You're right." Kelly looked down at her feet. "Look, Joey, I just needed to talk to John and I didn't want to wake you because I knew you'd be upset and…"

"Right," he responded, turning away. "Look, Kelly, this isn't…"

John interrupted. "Look, I'm gonna step out for a bit. Why don't the two of you hang out here for a while and talk. I'll get out of the way."

"John you don't have to do that," Kelly said, looking at him. She felt as if she were running him out of his own house.

"No, it's ok," he said, grabbing his jacket and heading out the door. "Just lock up when you leave."

Kelly stepped back inside the room with Joey following behind her. She took a deep breath. "Joey, I didn't mean to upset you. I wasn't trying to keep this from you."

"Just stop…" Joey said, looking at her. "Kelly, I can't do this anymore."

"What?" Kelly's voice broke. She and Joey had just been through all this. They were getting their shot at happiness again and now he was just letting it go. "I thought you wanted us to try…to be happy."

Joey reached up to touch her face. "I want you to be happy. That's why I'm doing this. I love you, Kelly. I love you more than anything in the world, and I want you to be happy. I don't think I can make you happy anymore."

She felt the tears streaming down her face. "Joey, please."

Gently he used his thumb to dry her tears, "Shhh..it's ok. It is. I'll never be too far away. We're always going to be a part of each other's lives. I'll always be here if you need me."

"But I don't want it to be like this," she said, through her tears. She didn't know what she wanted exactly, but she knew it wasn't this.

"I don't want this either, Kelly, but I don't want to keep hurting you. I don't want to make you choose, so I'm choosing for you. If you ever need me, all you have to do is call and I'll be here, but for now….I just think it's best if we let this go." He watched her as his words sank in. He carefully gathered her in his arms and held her for a moment. "Will you be ok here?" he asked her as he pulled away.

Kelly nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

Leaning in, Joey softly kissed her lips and turned towards the door. He looked back and started to speak, but thought better of it. As he closed the door behind him, he felt his own eyes welling up with tears. He took a breath and started to walk down the hall. John stood at the end of the hallway. Their eyes met.

"Everything ok?" John asked, honestly concerned.

Joey nodded, "You take care of her, ok?," he said as he continued to walk away.

* * *

John stood outside the door for a while considering what Joey's words meant. He listened carefully as he tried to hear what was going on inside. Carefully he turned his key and stepped inside.

Kelly lay on the couch, curled up, hugging a pillow. He could tell she was sobbing.

Kneeling down by the couch, he softly stroked her hair, "Is there anything I can do?"

Kelly looked up at him as he held his arms out to her. She fell into them desperate for something to hold onto.

"Tell me what happened," John said, as he rubbed soft circles on her back. "It's ok….just relax."

"He's gone. He said he didn't think he could make me happy, so he chose for me." Even saying it now, she found it hard to believe. It wasn't that she didn't understand how he felt, but for Joey to leave her….after just coming back to her again. It just seemed so unfair.

"It's ok. It'll all be ok," John said in a soothing voice. "Listen, I know it's hard, but you've got to try and calm down. Remember you've got a baby to think about."

Kelly took a deep breath and wiped her face. "You're right. I know, you're right. It just…it hurts so much…"

"I know it does," John responded, "It always hurts to lose someone you love, but you're not alone. You know that, don't you?"

Kelly nodded. "I know. You've always been here for me." She leaned against him as leaned back on the couch and draped his arm around her shoulder. "No matter what happened, you were the one person I knew I could talk to. This was the one place I always knew I could come."

"Well, we did have some pretty good fun here," John said with a slight smirk.

Kelly slapped him a little, "I'm not talking about that," she giggled, before turning serious again. "You're the only person in the world that could even come close to making me laugh at a time like this…..You're the only one."

John softly kissed her forehead. "I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. You can stay here for as long as you want. I can take you back to the house to get some things if you want. I can go back there with you to see what Joey's going to do. You tell me."

Looking at him, she whispered, "Can you just hold me for a little while? I just want to stay here and not talk or think about anything."

John nodded and allowed her to settle into his arms. This was definitely something he could do.

* * *

He wasn't sure how he'd gotten back to the house. His memories seemed to stop the moment he kissed Kelly and walked away. He briefly remembered speaking to John in the hallway, and stopping by the bar for a while, fully intending on getting plastered, but even that didn't seem appealing. After that, he supposed he just went on auto pilot. Stepping out of the car, he looked at his house…the house that was supposed to be for the two of them. This was the house they were supposed to raise a family in—a place they were supposed to live together and be happy. Now, it became the place he was about to have to leave.

Sighing he turned the key and made his way down the hall into the bedroom. Opening the closet door, he reached onto the top shelf for a duffel bag. As he pulled it down, he noticed a small shoebox in the corner. He'd never seen it before. It wasn't that it was anything spectacular necessarily, but it was the fact that seemed to be pushed way in the back that intrigued him. He pulled it out and sat down on the bed. The smell of Kelly's shampoo whiffed through the air. He closed his eyes, thinking back on last night. For a moment, he wondered if there was something he could have said, something he could have done to keep her there—to keep her from going to John's. No, he realized. Her heart simply wasn't here anymore. He opened the lid on the shoebox and drew in a sharp breath. This was not what he expected to find.

As John pulled into the driveway, he looked over at Kelly. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"I need to do this," she said, shaking her head in the affirmative and looking John in the eyes, "And I have to do it alone. Thank you for offering and thank you for being here for me, but I owe this to Joey…I owe it to us. I can't just leave it like this."

John nodded. "You call me if you need me…if you need anything."

Kelly lightly kissed his cheek. "I will. I promise."

John watched as she made her way up the walk and walked into the house. He knew he could be letting her go at that very moment, but holding on to her seemed to be the wrong choice as well. As he leaned his head into the steering wheel, he tried to figure out what to do. Nothing about this seemed easy.

* * *

_I must give credit to the song that brought about this chapter: "Photographs and Memories" by Jim Croce. The lyrics are haunting and almost perfect._

Photographs and memories  
Christmas cards you sent to me  
All that I have are these  
To remember you

Memories that come at night  
Take me to another time  
Back to a happier day  
When I called you mine

But we sure had a good time  
When we started way back when  
Morning walks and bedroom talks  
Oh, how I loved you then

Summer skies and lullabies  
Nights we couldn't say goodbye  
And of all of the things that we knew  
Not a dream survived

Photographs and memories  
All the love you gave to me  
Somehow it just can't be true  
That's all I've left of you

But we sure had a good time  
When we started way back when  
Morning walks and bedroom talks  
Oh, how I loved you then

Reaching into the box, he grabbed the first thing he saw—a dried flower that he recognized instantly. These were the flowers from Paris. Smiling, he allowed his mind to go back there. He could almost hear the sounds of the opera singer in the background and of Kelly's laugh as she spread the flowers on the bed, fawning over the spread of bread and cheese they'd bought at the market. Things didn't seem so easy then, but now as he sat staring into that box, he realized he'd give anything to have those moments again.

He placed the flower carefully back in the box, taking great care not to crush what was left of the precious memento. His hand found a stack of pictures one of which caught his attention immediately. He remembered that night as if it had been yesterday. Kelly had kissed him, and he'd made fun of her for it, telling her she needed more practice. When he'd kissed her again, under the ruse of instructing her, he realized—maybe for the first time, how attracted he was to her.

"It's been a while since I've done that," she said quietly, as Joey turned quickly to see her standing in the doorway.

He quickly dropped the stack of photos. "Sorry," he said, grabbing the top of the box, "I just…I didn't know what was…"

Kelly took a seat beside him, taking the top of the box off again. "It's us," she smiled, "I used to look at it a lot, but I haven't done it in a while." She reached inside, pulling out a few letters; glancing at them briefly and putting them back down. Her eyes filled with tears as she glanced at the other items. Memories of a happier time she'd shared with Joey—a man that she'd loved for as long as she could remember and probably always would.

"We had some really good times," Joey whispered, touching her hand softly. "Some really, really good memories…"

"Yeah, we did." Kelly's eyes fell on the flower as she gently picked it up. "Paris," she whispered, looking up at Joey.

He nodded, "I don't remember much about the city, but I remember a lot about you," he said softly looking at her.

"Please don't do this, Joey. I know it's not fair of me to ask you…I know it's not right of me to keep stringing you along, but you have to know how I feel. Forever, remember?" She held the flower up, reminding him of the worlds they'd said to each other that night…so long ago.

Joey reached up to touch her face, carefully wiping away the tears. "You feel that for someone else now," he said sadly. "You know you do. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't."

Kelly stared at him sadly, "I care about John. I've always been honest with you about that, but I don't….I can't feel the same way about him that I do about you. You're a part of me, Joey. I can't forget you…I can't leave you."

Joey's eyes softened. He hated seeing her so upset. "But you did leave," he whispered, his voice calm and kind. Touching her hand again, he tried to make her understand, "Just this morning, you chose John over me. I can't keep watching you do that. It hurts too much."

Kelly clasped his hand tightly. "I'm sorry."

"No, Kelly…I don't want you to have to be sorry. I don't want to you to feel like you have to stay here because it's what's right or because it's what you're supposed to do. I want you to be here because you want to be here….because you love me."

"I do love you, Joey." Her voice shook with emotion. She couldn't come up with the right words to express her emotion, so she decided on something else. Grabbing his shirt, she pulled him closer to her, and kissed him.

For a moment she thought he might pull away, but she felt him relax and respond. When they finally parted, she looked into his eyes, "I've been working on my technique," she said with a smile.

"I can see that," Joey said, his eyes slightly wider.

"Give us another chance, Joey," Kelly whispered her face still close to his.

His kiss was the only response she needed.

* * *

She wanted to get lost in the kiss—to forget everything, to allow herself to be as happy as she knew Joey could make her, but somehow, as she leaned into him, she felt almost guilty.

Somehow sensing her hesitation, Joey stilled, "What is it?" he asked, his breath heavy. "What's wrong?" He leaned back against the headboard, not needing an answer. "Don't bother, I already know." He stood up, pulling shirts off their hangers and folding them neatly before placing them in the duffel bag.

"Joey," Kelly began.

"No," he said, his voice raised, his eyes sparkling with anger. "What do you expect from me, Kelly? Do you want me to sit around and wait until you decide if you still want to sleep with John McBain? Am I supposed to just hold on and see if you decide if you love him? Is that it? Is that what you want?" He grabbed her hand, "For God's sake, I asked you to marry me! I gave you a ring! I wanted you be my wife. I didn't care that the baby wasn't mine. It didn't matter. I just wanted you, Kelly. I just wanted you."

"Joey, please," Kelly said, tears streaming down her face. She had never seen him so upset. If it were anyone else, she would have been frightened, but she knew Joey would never hurt her. The only thing that frightened her now was knowing that she had been the one to do this to him.

"What is it?" he yelled, still holding her hand tightly in his. "What do you want from me"?

John entered the room, grabbing his shirt and throwing him back into the closet. "You get the hell off of her," he said, his chest heaving with heavy breath. "You ok?" he asked, looking back at Kelly.

"Joey," Kelly said, moving towards him. John was in front of her in seconds. "Let him calm down a minute," John said calmly. "Are you ok?" he asked again, a bit more firmly, placing his hands on her shoulders.

"I'm fine. Joey was just upset." Kelly stared at Joey who was now sitting in the closet with his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to go off on you like that. I didn't hurt you did I?" Joey had never been so ashamed of himself.

"No," Kelly said, pushing past John, "I know you'd never hurt me. You were upset and you had every right to be."

Gently taking her hand, Joey spoke, "It's enough," he said quietly. "This proved it. We've got to give it a rest for now. I love you too much to ever do this to you." With that, he stood, kissed her cheek quickly and grabbed the duffel bag.

As he walked past John, he felt a hand on his shoulder, "I won't let anything happen to her," he said, looking him the eye.

Joey stared back at him. He had wanted to hate him so badly, but now, he realized he needed his assurance. "Thanks," he mumbled before walking out of the room.

* * *

John stood by the closet watching Kelly as she slowly thumbed through the items in the shoebox. The tears flowed down her cheeks and he felt helpless. Slowly he walked over to her, "Is there anything I can do?"

Looking up at him, she knew he truly wanted to help, but there was nothing he could do. There was nothing anyone could do. "No. Actually, I think…I need to be by myself right now."

John stood there for a moment, considering her request, "You sure that's a good idea. I mean, you'll be ok here by yourself?"

She nodded, "I'll call if I need anything, but right now, I just need to think. I've been unfair to you..and to Joey and it needs to stop. If I don't know what I want, I can't possibly tell either of you what I want."

It made sense and John nodded to indicate his understanding, "Just promise you'll call if you need something."

"Promise," she said softly. "Thanks for everything."

"Anytime," he said, leaning in and kissing her before walking out the door.

Kelly covered her face in her hands and took a shaky breath. Placing the lid back on the box, she placed it back in the closet and closed the door. Walking back over to the bed, she lay down, pulling her legs up as far as her swollen belly would allow. "What are we gonna do?" she whispered, gently rubbing her stomach.

She smiled as she felt her daughter move. "Is that code for stop complaining?" she asked with a smile.

Sitting up a little, she placed her hands on her belly, speaking to the only person she was certain of her feelings for, "Hey, listen, I know you're probably hearing lots of crazy stuff right now. You probably think you're being born into one screwed up mess, but I want you to know that I'm really happy you're here. You're the only thing in my life right now that I'm absolutely certain about. I love you and I can't wait to be your Mom. I'm always going to be here for you. I promise."

* * *

John sat at his desk, staring at the phone. He'd dialed part of her number at least ten times, thirteen if you counted the times he'd just flipped open phone. It had been weeks since he'd seen Kelly. Sure, she'd called and checked in. She said she was fine—that she was taking some time, trying to figure things out on her own. He couldn't help but worry. With Joey not there, she was alone, and although he knew she could take care of herself, he hated the thought of her there with no one to lean on and no one to talk to.

"You're gonna drive yourself crazy, McBain," he muttered out loud, flipping the phone to silent and placing it in his jacket pocket. "Look at me, I'm talking to myself…it's already started."

The sound of his name in the bullpen provided a welcome reprieve from his thoughts. John stood, leaving his jacket on the back of the chair. Off to work.

Kelly struggled to bend further. "Where is it?" she whined to no one in particular. She hobbled around the room, one foot still missing the flat sling back black shoe. Her eyes widened as she spotted it. "Great…under the bed. How am I supposed to get that, Melinda?" she whispered to her belly? "Guess Mommy gets to try out some aerobics," she smiled as she lowered herself to the floor.

Grabbing the shoe and standing back up, she grabbed her lower back, "Oh, that may not have been such a good idea," she whispered, shaking it off and placing the shoe off her foot.

As she turned to leave the room, a sharp pain caused her to take a sharp intake of breath. A wave of panic sat in as she realized this was no cramp, no strain from leaning over too far. This baby was coming…and it was coming now.

Thinking back, all the signs had been there. Her back had hurt something terrible last night and, honestly, those pains she'd passed off as muscle spasms were very possibly contractions. As she glanced at her watch, she tried to time her contractions. "Dammit," she whispered, as the pain wracked her body. She couldn't concentrate—she needed help. Reaching for the phone, she dialed John's number. Voice mail. "John," she started, trying to sound calm, "When you get this message, call me, please. It's important."

Hanging up the phone, she leaned back a little taking a deep breath and trying to maintain her composure. She had no choice. There was one other person she knew she could call. One other person she knew would be here no matter what.

Joey's phone rang as he sat at the small table. The sandwich had been sitting, untouched for more than an hour. He'd told the waitress it was fine, all three times she'd asked, and it was. He wasn't. "Hello," Joey answered, not even bothering to check the caller ID. The sound of her voice immediately alerted him that something was wrong.

"Joey," she said, her voice already breaking…

"Kelly," Joey said, straightening in his chair, "What's wrong?"

"The baby," she breathed more than said, "the baby's coming. I need help."

Joey was already standing and grabbing his wallet. He placed the money on the table and waved the waitress off as she went to retrieve his change. "Ok, hang on…Where are you?" His thoughts turned to John for a moment, but he dismissed the thought. He was sure she'd called John, but she was also calling him. If she needed him, he'd be there. It was as simple as that.

"I'm at the house…Joey, please hurry," she said, her voice getting more desperate by the second.

"I'm on the way. Just try to stay calm," he said, trying not to allow his own voice to betray his fear.

"It's too early," she said, her teeth clenched as she struggled through another contraction. She hoped it was just her anxiety, but each one seemed to strengthen and they seemed to be coming faster and much, much closer together.

"It's gonna be ok, Kel," Joey said, glancing back and forth through the intersections as he broke numerous traffic laws. "I'm getting there as fast as I can. I'll be there in a just a minute. Did you call John?" He had to ask her. Maybe John could get her help. Right now, he couldn't worry about who got the glory. He had to worry about Kelly's health and the health of that baby.

"I tried," she said through heavy breaths, "but he didn't answer. It went to…voice…"

Her voice was fading. Joey felt his heartbeat faster. "Kelly," he said, his own voice raising, "Kelly, you stay with me sweetie."

"I feel funny," she said, clutching her forehead.

Joey felt as if his heart might explode, "What do you mean you feel funny? What's wrong? Tell me what's going on Kel?"

"I…I can't…It…" She felt herself drifting away, and no matter how badly she tried to fight to stay there, to talk to him, she couldn't. She just needed to close her eyes, just for a moment.

"Kelly," Joey screamed, as his tires squealed into the driveway. He stood and ran from the car, barreling through the door and down the hallway…terrified of what he might find.

* * *

He was by her side in seconds, calling her name, gently touching her face, "C'mon, Kelly…talk to me. Stay with me, here."

Kelly forced her eyes to open as she tried to muster the energy to withstand another rave of pain. "Joey," she whispered, between jagged breaths.

"It's ok." He gently rubbed her hair away from her face. "I'm calling an ambulance. We're gonna get you some help."

Hearing noise in the hallway, he quickly stood to his feet. Maybe she'd already called. Maybe the ambulance was on the way.

"Kelly!" John screamed. He'd tried to call her over and over, but it went straight to voice mail. Something was wrong—very wrong. He could feel it. As he ran into the room, his eyes fell on Joey.

"What happened?" he said, stripping off his jacket and kneeling down in beside Kelly.

Joey shook his head, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. "I don't know. She called me…she said she tried to call you ,but she couldn't reach you. She was like this when I got here. I called an ambulance." Joey shook his head again. "I don't know what to do." He looked at John. He never thought he'd see the day when he was glad to see him, but that moment had arrived.

"Talk to me Kelly. Tell me what's going on," John said, desperately trying to provoke some sort of response from her.

"Scared," she barely managed. "It's too soon." Her face was streaked with tears and she was clearly in more pain than she could bear. As the two men watched her struggle, they exchanged nervous glances.

John stood and backed away towards Joey, "She needs a doctor. It's too early to do this here," he said, his voice low in an attempt to keep from stressing Kelly any further.

"I don't see a doctor around here, do you?" Joey spat back. "You're a cop…don't they teach you this kind of stuff in your training? Aren't you supposed to know what to do in the case of an emergency?"

"This is different," he hissed, "she's twenty-six weeks. It's just too soon."

"I know," Joey whispered as the both looked at Kelly.

* * *

"I know…I know it's hard, sweetie, but just try to take deep breaths." Joey looked up John as he came back into the room. He breathed a sigh of relief as he noticed John gesturing down the hall. The ambulance was here. "Thank God," he whispered.

As Joey stepped back and watched them assess Kelly's condition, he looked over at John. Walking over to him, he put a hand on his shoulder, "She'll be ok. She's a fighter," he said, realizing for the first time the common bond they both shared.

John nodded. "Thanks."

The ride to the hospital had been largely silent. Neither of them had been permitted to ride in the ambulance as there were already a large number of people attempting to manage the ever changing situation. Every time the ambulance seemed to speed up, Joey felt as if his heart might literally leap from his chest. Knowing Kelly was going through all this was killing him and yet he could do nothing to help her.

As he looked over at John's face, he could see the worry. Since they'd pulled out of the driveway, he'd been completely focused on the road ahead of him—saying nothing, never once taking his eyes off the ambulance. Every once in a while, Joey was sure he saw a tear escape, but John did nothing to indicate his emotion.

As they drove into the emergency room parking, both men sprinted from the car. The EMTs shooed them back before they ever reached a distance that would allow them to speak to Kelly. They were left in the waiting room to hope and to wonder.

After a few minutes, a doctor emerged. Joey and John both stood, both of them bracing for the news. "John McBain?" he said, looking at the two men, unsure of which one of them he was addressing.

John stepped forward slightly. "yeah, Doc…how is she? How's the baby?"

"I wish I had better news," the doctor stated somberly. "She's too advanced to stop the labor now. Her blood pressure is dangerously high. To try and prevent the delivery any further would not only jeopardize the life of the child, it would also jeopardize the life of the mother."

John felt as if his knees might give out. "So, the baby is coming…now?"

The doctor nodded. "We need your consent…to do an emergency c-section. It's the only option we have."

John looked over at Joey who nodded in the affirmative. If this was the only option they had, it seemed only reasonable to do it.

Grabbing the clipboard, John quickly scribbled his signature, "You save them," he said, locking eyes with the doctor, "Please."

* * *

"I should have stayed with her."

Joey looked up at the sound of John's voice. "What?" he asked.

"I should have stayed with her," John repeated, as he slowly paced the length of the room. "What the hell was I thinking? She shouldn't have been alone? If I'd stayed I could have helped her. She wouldn't have…"

Joey stopped him, "Did Kelly want you to stay?," he asked, walking over to him.

"No," he replied. "She told me to go. She wanted to be alone. I think she was trying to prove that she could be alone. That she didn't need anyone to be ok."

Joey smiled. That sounded like Kelly. "I know Kelly and if she didn't want you to stay—you weren't staying. Besides, I know what it feels like to beat yourself up over what you could have done differently. It never helps anything."

John nodded. Joey was right. All of his energy needed to be focused on Kelly and their baby. Each time the doors opened, his heart stopped. He knew that, in an instant, his life could be altered forever.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the familiar face of the doctor emerged. He walked quickly, stopping only briefly to provide them with basic information. "You have a daughter. They're taking her up to the NICU to assess. It's on the 4th floor. They'll be moving Ms. Cramer up to recovery there. Go on up and someone will be there to speak with you as soon as the know more."

John started to ask questions, but with another quick nod of his head the doctor was gone.

Joey and John exchanged silent glances and headed for the elevator.

* * *

John stood in the waiting area as nurses walked past him. "Didn't they say something was gonna come talk to us?" he said as he rubbed his face. "Nobody is telling us anything."

Joey nodded. "Where do you even go to ask a question in this place?" He glanced around and walked to the desk, "Excuse me". The receptionist looked up from the computer screen, clearly annoyed with the interruption.

"Yes," she curtly responded.

"I need some information….My friend, Kelly Cramer, she was transferred up here with her baby and the doctor told us to…"

As the phone rang, the nurse held up her hand, to halt Joey's questions. Sighing, he turned back to John, "Phone call."

John saw another nurse standing at a medical cart. "Excuse me," he stated quickly, rushing to get to her before she left.

"I'm sorry, sir. I've got to." The nurse moved to push the cart into the elevator.

"Dammit," John said, grabbing the cart. "Somebody tell me something." The waiting area grew silent. John looked around and then back at the nurse who was clearly shaken. "Look, I'm sorry. It's just that…there's a patient here. She just had a baby…my baby and I can't find out anything. Nobody has told us anything and nobody will answer any of my questions."

The nurse nodded, rolling the cart out of the elevator car. "What's the name?" she asked, walking behind the counter and standing in front of the computer screen.

"Cramer," Joey replied, "Kelly Cramer."

The nurse furrowed her brow as she read the screen. "Ms. Cramer is experiencing some complications downstairs," she said gently. "She hasn't been moved yet."

"Complications?" The worry in Joey's voice was evident and John sympathized as he felt the same. "Where is she? Where do we go?" Joey asked.

"Just wait right here," the young nurse stated kindly, "Let me see if I can find someone for you to talk to."

John slowly walked over to a chair and sat down. He let out a shaky breath and put his head in his hands. "God," he breathed.

In a moment, a doctor appeared. "Mr. McBain?"

"Yeah," John stood, standing in front of the doctor, mentally preparing himself for the words that could be coming next. He saw Joey come beside him.

"Ms. Cramer has been moved up to recovery now. We had some problems with controlling the bleeding at the incision site, but she's stable for the moment. We're going to keep a very close eye on her. Her levels will have to be monitored very carefully and we've got to keep a close eye on her blood pressure, but I think she's going to pull through." The doctor readjusted his clipboard as he talked.

"Thank God," Joey breathed, clasping his hand on John's shoulder.

"The baby," John questioned, "What about the baby?"

The doctor's face grew more serious. "Your daughter has been moved to the NICU, Neonatal Intensive Care Unit. At twenty-six weeks, she faces a myriad of potential health issues. Based on preliminary testing, she appears to be experiencing some of the typical issues that premature infants face."

John could hear his heart beating in his head, and he felt as if he might collapse. As the doctor continued to speak, he could only catch bits of the conversation, "Risk of infection, jaundice, breathing problems, eyesight…."

"All in all, we just have to wait and see. A lot of it will be up to her," the doctor explained, glancing at the two men. "For now, my advice is to think positively and if you pray, now would be a good time to do that."

As the doctor walked away, Joey called after him, "Kelly…Can we see her?"

"For a minute," he called back without even turning around, "She needs to rest."

* * *

"The doctor is limiting visits to five minutes," the nurse told them.

"You can go in," John said, looking at Joey. "I know you want to see her. I can see her later. Besides, I'll walk down to the NICU and see if I can look in on the baby."

Joey stopped him as he turned to walk away, "Uh, if you uh want to….we could go in together. I mean….we both want to see her and…she'd probably like to see that we're getting along and all."

John thought for a moment. It was a decent idea. "Alright," he said quietly as they walked toward the room.

Kelly's eyes were closed when they entered and for a moment, they thought she was still out of it from the drugs. The sound of the door closing caused her eyes to flutter, and Joey walked over to touch her hand.

"Hi," he said, softly.

Kelly looked over at him, smiling slightly. Her head felt fuzzy and her whole body felt light. Sensing another presence in the room, she slowly turned her head. "John," she whispered, "What are you doing here?"

He quietly leaned down and softly kissed her forehead. "I'm here to see you," he said.

Kelly closed her eyes for a moment, trying to clear her mind. It all seemed to return in a moment. Her eyes opened and the foggy confusion was replaced by fear. "The baby?" she said, her breaths becoming jagged, as she struggled to sit up.

Both men eased her back onto the mattress. "Easy," John whispered, "The doctors are taking really good care of her."

"I need to see her," Kelly cried, "She needs me. She needs to know that I'm here. She'll think I don't love her."

"No, Kelly. You've got to get well, so you can take care of her first." Joey carefully rubbed her head, trying to calm her. "We just talked to the doctor and he told us that they are checking her out to make sure everything is ok."

Kelly turned her head towards John. "Please," she said, reaching out for his hand, "Please don't let anything happen to her."

John brought his hand to her lips and kissed it softly. "I promise you," he whispered, "I promise. Nothing's gonna happen."

* * *

Joey held out a cup of coffee.

"Thanks," John responded as he took a sip.

Joey nodded and took a seat across from him in the waiting room. "They tell you when you could see the baby?"

"Yeah, they said it would be a few more minutes. They're still trying to get her oxygen level regulated, but they said she doing pretty good." He smiled, thinking of his daughter.

"That's good. Look, John" Joey shifted in the uncomfortable chair, nervously picking at the liner of the coffee cup, "No matter what you might think about how I feel about this situation, I want you to know that I really do hope everything works out here. I just want Kelly to be happy."

"I know. I get it." John sat his cup down on the small table beside him, "I know how you feel about her and you know how I feel about her. We don't have to try and pretend that this is something that it's not."

Joey nodded.

"I think the important thing here is that we both love Kelly and we both want her and the baby to be happy and healthy…Maybe we can focus on that for now?"

Before Joey could respond, a nurse entered the waiting room, "Mr. McBain?"

"Yeah," John said, standing.

"Your daughter is ready to see you now," she smiled.

John turned back to Joey. "Will you tell Kelly that I've…"

Joey smiled and nodded, "John, go see your little girl. I'll take care of Kelly."

* * *

"I don't put on this much gear for haz mat training," John joked as he pulled up the long thin gloves.

"It's just precautions," the nurse smiled, as she handed him a net cap. "You'll need to put this on and make sure you keep all of this on the entire time you're in the NICU."

John nodded. "Will I be able to hold her?"

"No," the nurse answered, seeing the disappointment in his eyes, "I'm sorry, but we can't let you do that just yet. We've got to make sure we've got a better handle on her medical situation and right now, it's simply too early, but you can reach in and touch her," she smiled. "You can talk to her…let her know that you're there. All of that is very important to a baby's development."

John smiled, "Ok."

As he walked through the maze of incubators and machines, his eyes fell on a tiny, red hand. His eyes immediately filled with tears. "She's so…."

The nurse placed a supportive hand on his shoulder. "She's small, but she's doing ok. She's got to have all these tubes and machines to help her until she gets a little bigger, but every day she'll make strides and the hope is that day by day, week by week, she'll get rid of all this stuff until she's ready to go home with you."

John reached up to wipe his eyes, "Is she in pain?"

"No," the nurse said kindly, "We've got her under this heat blanket to regulate her temperature and this lamp helps with her jaundice. As she gains weight and develops, you'll notice her skin start to thicken up and she'll get a more consistent complexion." She looked at John. It was clear he was having a difficult time seeing his child, a child he clearly wanted, going through this. "Mr. McBain?"

John looked up at her, still unable to vocalize his thoughts.

"It's normal to feel a little overwhelmed by everything at first, but I promise you….we're doing everything we can to make sure your daughter goes home with you as soon as possible."

"Thank you," he managed.

"I'll give you some time alone with her," she said quietly as she left the room.

John walked over to the incubator and sat in the rocking chair beside it. As he stared inside at the tiny life, he struggled to think of something to say. He felt fresh tears run down his face. Kelly would know what to do. He wished more than anything that she were here with him.

* * *

John stared into the small incubator. There were lines and wires coming from everywhere and his precious little girl lay in the middle of it all. He reached his covered hand in through the small opening in the side and lightly brushed the tip of her foot. She moved slightly, seemingly reacting to the touch. He moved a little closer, so that he could see her face from his seat.

"Hi there," he whispered.

"Mr. McBain," the nurse whispered from behind him.

"Yes," John said turning around.

"I'm really sorry, but the doctors are here to make their rounds. I'm gonna have to ask you to step out for a while."

John nodded and stood. "I'll be back a little later," he whispered, placing his hand on top of the incubator. He turned to walk away and stopped, looking back at the nurse. "Wait…do you think I could take a quick picture of her…it will only take a second. I'd like to be able to show Kelly, her mother."

The nurse smiled and nodded as she watched John remove his cell phone and snap a quick photo. He glanced at the result, pocketed the phone, and walked from the room.

Walking down the hallway, he stopped by the nurse's station, "Excuse me," he said, speaking to the nurse who was standing near a row of charts, "Do you think I might go in and speak to Kelly Cramer for a moment? I was just able to visit our daughter and I'd just like to let her know how she's doing."

The nurse smiled, "Ok, but make it quick."

John smiled and quickly stepped into the room. Kelly opened her eyes as she heard the door.

"John," she whispered, "What have they told you about the baby?"

"I can do better than that," he said. "I've got a picture of her for you."

"You do?" Kelly said, tears already forming in her eyes. "Can I see it? I want to see it."

John paused for a moment. He knew how difficult this was for him and he was able to go in and sit with her. He could only imagine what this would be like for Kelly. Knowing their daughter was going through all this and not being able to go see her, not being able to touch her, not being able to talk to her. "Kelly," he said softly, taking her hand in his. "I just want you to know that she needs a lot of help right now, so she's got a lot of stuff around her."

Kelly took a breath. "You mean, she's got monitors, right?"

"well, yeah, and IVs and tubes," John admitted, trying to be as honest as possible. Preparing her was one thing, scaring her was another and he was trying to be careful to do the first and not the later.

"Ok," she said, taking a breath. "Just give me the phone."

John handed her the phone and watched as the tears fell. "It's ok," he whispered as he reached out to touch her shoulder.

"God, John. She looks so tiny," Kelly managed through the tears. "Is she ok? I mean, do they think she'll be ok?"

"The nurse said she's checking out ok right now. It's gonna take some time, but they haven't told me anything right now that makes me think they're overly concerned. I got to go sit in there a few minutes today and just as soon as they tell me you can go, I'll wheel you down there."

Kelly nodded. "I'm so scared, John."

Reaching up to touch her face, he whispered, "Don't be scared, ok? She's a fighter. She gets that from you. She's gonna be just fine."

* * *

Joey stood outside the glass window, peering inside at the lines of tiny isolettes that lined the room. Each one of them was a miracle. He smiled as he smiled the little pink bundled. The label read 'Baby Cramer'. Hearing footsteps approaching he turned around to find John standing beside him.

"She's beautiful," Joey responded softly, surprised by the sudden lump in his throat. "Congratulations….Really, I…I mean it."

"Thanks," John said, honestly appreciative of Joey's gesture. "You know, if you want to go in, I'm sure Kelly would like that. You could go see her and then go see Kelly. She's going crazy not being able to come down here and I'm sure she'd feel better getting a report from someone other than me."

Joey nodded, and walked towards the door.

"Suit up," John said with a smile, as the nurse handed Joey his gown and gear.

Joey walked over to the tiny baby girl and took a deep breath. She seemed even tinier as he got closer. Every inch of her seemed to have tubes and lines attached, yet she seemed calm and peaceful. She was so small, but absolutely perfect. Each finger and toe was perfectly formed. As she moved her lips slightly, Joey smiled. That was Kelly's mouth…much smaller, but Kelly's just the same.

"Hi, little girl," he whispered, reaching in to touch the sleeve of the thin gown. "I know you don't know me very well. I haven't been around much lately, but I'm Joey and I'm really glad you're doing ok. See, I know you're going to be just fine because I've known your Mommy for a really long time and she's one of the strongest people I know. You're going to be strong just like her. You've got a lot of people that love you, so you just hang in there. Your Mom would be here right now, but the doctors say she needs to rest. " Joey leaned in closer to the top of the crib, as if he were sharing a secret. "It's put her in kind of a snit to be honest. She'd really rather be in here with you and, trust me, once they give her the go ahead, you'll see her all the time. In fact, you'll probably be sick of her. Actually, I take that back….you couldn't get sick of her. She's one of those people that you just want around all the time. Wait until you meet her and you'll see."

As he stood, he watched the baby move a little more and reached in for one last touch. "See you later," he whispered.

Joey left the room removing his cap and gloves and placed them in the bin. Now there was just one other person left to see.

* * *

Peering in through the slightly open door, he could see her wiping away the tears. "Hey," he said softly, as he opened the door wider and walked toward her bedside.

"Hey," Kelly said, immediately sitting up straighter and trying to appear composed. "I didn't know you were here."

"I've been here all night. I didn't want to leave until I was sure you were ok." He slowly brought his hand to her face. Even knowing how she felt about John, he couldn't help the way he still felt about her. It was a pull he couldn't control.

"Thanks," Kelly softly responded. "And thank you….for being there when I called yesterday. If you hadn't…I don't know what I would have done."

Joey nodded. "You don't have to thank me. I was happy to be there for you. You know you can always call me if you need me." Joey looked at her for a moment, studying her expression. "You do know that, right?"

Kelly felt her eyes water, "Yeah, of course I do," she said, trying to keep the tears from starting.

"What is it?" Joey asked gently. Sensing Kelly's hesitation, he touched her hand, "Come on Kelly. We've been through enough stuff together. Talk to me."

"What if….What if I made this happen?" she said, looking up at Joey, her eyes filled with tears.

Joey was stunned for a moment, unsure of what she could mean. "What are you talking about? Made what happen?"

"The baby…" Kelly managed, feeling the fresh tears fall down her face, "What if I caused this….all this stress…what if it made her come this early?" She hated the thought, but she hated herself more for the part she might have played in all this.

"No, Kelly," Joey said, as he brushed away her tears, "You didn't do this. This is just one of those things. Sometimes things just happen. No one is to blame."

"How do you know that for sure though?" Kelly looked up at him, desperate for reassurance. "What if something happens to her, Joey? If something happens, I'll never forgive myself."

"Nothing is going to happen to her. She's got great doctors taking really good care of her and she's got you and John to look after her. Besides, I just had a really good talk with her and she told me to tell you that she's gonna be just fine." Joey noted the change in Kelly's eyes.

"You saw her?" Kelly asked, her eyes brightening.

"I did," Joey smiled, "And she's beautiful, just like her Mom."

"And she's really doing ok," Kelly asked.

"She's fine," Joey replied, softly touching her hair. "She's going to be great…just like you. We're all going to get through this. Don't you worry."

* * *

The feeling of fingertips brushing her skin woke her. Kelly slowly opened her eyes, slightly surprised to see John there.

"Hi," he whispered, smiling at her.

"You watching me sleep?," she asked with a smile.

"I kind of like watching you do anything." John brushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. "I've got something that I bet will put a smile on that beautiful face of yours."

"What?" Kelly sat up a little in the bed, still wincing slightly from the c-section wound.

"I just talked to the doctor. He says if you feel up to it, I can wheel you down to the NICU to see the baby." John smiled as he watched Kelly's eyes light up.

"Really?" She immediately tried to turn and swing her legs off the bed, but the searing pain in her abdomen stopped her. Her sharp intake of breath startled John.

"Easy," he whispered, rushing to her side. "I'll get a wheelchair and I'll help you out of bed, ok?" He waited for Kelly to lay back against the pillows. "Just relax and I'll be right back."

Kelly tried not to fidget as she watched John struggle to maneuver the wheelchair through the narrow doorway. He carefully eased her off the bed, taking great care to make every move as gentle as possible.

"You ok?" he asked as she finally settled into the chair.

"I'm great," she smiled. "And in a few minutes, I've got a hunch I'll be even better."

* * *

"You ok?" John asked seeing Kelly's face contort in pain as she leaned forward to allow the surgical gown to wrap around her.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she said, smiling back at him. "I just want to see my little girl," then catching herself, she looked back at him, "our little girl"

John shook his head as he handed her the gloves and mask. As he pushed the chair through the doors, Kelly's eyes widened in surprise.

"Hey," she said softly. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"Oh," Joey said softly, looking back at Kelly, "Sorry. I didn't realize you were coming down today. I'll get out of your way."

"No…No…it's ok," she said, as her eyes feel on the little girl for the first time, "Stay."

John and Joey stepped back a bit to allow Kelly full access to the little girl. The tears feel freely down her cheeks as her shaky hand reached into the isolette. "Hi there," she managed, her voice choking and raspy. Looking back at the two men, she whispered, "she's so tiny."

Joey put his hand on her shoulder supportively, "the nurses say she's doing great though."

John added, "And she'll get stronger and stronger and soon she won't need all this."

Kelly wiped her eyes and nodded. "I just wish I could hold her."

"I know." John placed his hand on her shoulder as well. "I wish you could too."

"Sorry to interrupt," the young nurse said, "We've got to hook up a nutrient tube and change some lines."

Kelly reached back into the isollete. "I'll see you soon baby girl."

As John moved to wheel Kelly from the room, she turned back towards Joey, "Wait," she said, seeing that he was leaving the room.

"Yeah," he said softly, returning to her side.

"Can you come back to the room for a bit? I'd like to talk to you and John about something. I've just been thinking about something and it's kind of important."

Joey looked up at John and then back at Kelly, "Sure. I can do that."

Kelly nodded and placed her hands in her lap as John began to push her from the room. He glanced at Joey and slightly shrugged as they left the room.

* * *

Joey stood at the end of the bed as he watched John help Kelly back into bed.

"You ok?" John asked. "You need anything?"

Kelly shook her head. "I'm fine. I just wanted you both here. I need to talk to both of you." She reached over to a folder on the table beside her. "I have the papers to fill out…you know for the birth certificate and I wanted to talk to both of you." Kelly looked over at John and then at Joey. She could feel herself beginning to tear up and she desperately wanted to get through this.

Joey moved a little closer as he noted her getting increasingly upset. No matter what happened between them, he'd never gotten used to seeing her cry. He quickly grabbed a tissue from the box and handed it to her.

Kelly smiled, "Thanks." She took a breath. "John and I had talked about naming her Melinda and I want to stick with that," she said, glancing over at Joey.

Joey nodded, "I think that's nice."

"But," Kelly added, "I wanted her middle name to be special too…I wanted her to know that her name meant something, so I tried to think of the people that meant the most to me." She looked at Joey and took his hand. "We've been through so much together and no matter what happens between us, you'll always be my best friend. "

Now it was Joey's turn to fight the tears, "You know I feel the same way," he managed.

"That's why, I want…I want her middle name to be Joanne…after you." She looked over at John who simply nodded.

He understood the sentiment. Joey had been in her life far longer than he had and they had been through an incredible amount together. It would make sense that she would want to honor him.

"I'd be honored," Joey said finally as soon as he felt he could do so without breaking down.

"Ok," Kelly said with a smile. "It's settled, Melinda Joanne McBain…"

"I like it," John said. "It's a good name".

Kelly looked over at the two men standing on either side of the bed. She knew this moment was coming, but she'd been dreading it for quite some time now. "There's just one other thing we need to talk about."

John and Joey exchanged looks and then focused their eyes on Kelly.

The weight of the eyes on her felt like literal weight and she took a deep breath in an attempt to alleviate the pressure. "It's about us," she said, looking over at John, and then over at Joey…"all of us..and about how we're going to make all this work."

* * *

"Kelly," John started, "You don't need to decide anything right now. I told you, no one is pressuring you to make a choice."

Joey shook his head in agreement. "John's right." He let his breath out in a quick spurt of air. "Bet you never thought you'd hear those words come out of my mouth," he smiled at her. "But it's true. I don't want you to feel like you have to make any kind of decision to satisfy us."

"This doesn't have anything to do with satisfying you two," Kelly said honestly, "this is about my little girl and about me being able to focus on her…and only her." She could feel the limp rising in her throat, but she willed herself to continue. "For most of my life I've gone from one relationship to another, looking for someone to share my life with…looking for that one true love that was going to make everything perfect."

She looked over at Joey and reached for his hand. "I've had it a few times…and it was wonderful, but it didn't last forever…maybe because it wasn't supposed to, or maybe because it wasn't the right time. Or," she paused for a moment to collect herself, "maybe it's because I was looking in all the wrong places for that unconditional love. Joey, you'll always be special to me. You're my first real love and I'll never forget the times we shared. I'll never stop loving you and I'll never stop wanting you to be a part of my life. I hope you will be here for Melinda, but right now, I don't think it's fair to you for us to try and be 'us' right now." She looked into his eyes and saw the pain there, but she also saw understanding and compassion. That was Joey…the Joey she'd known for so long.

Turning her attention to John, she continued, "John, you and I have had a lifetime of experiences within a short amount of time, but you've been a wonderful friend to me. I care so much about you and I'll never stop. You gave me an incredible gift and you've never left my side throughout all of this. I'll never be able to tell you how much that means to me. You will be an amazing father and I want you to be involved in Melinda's life in a huge way. I also want you to be in my life. I value your friendship, but right now, that's what I need. I need your friendship."

Taking a deep breath again, Kelly sat up a little in the bed, "I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I think I need to try this on my own for a while. I need to stand on my own two feet. I want to be a mother to my daughter without having to complicate it with a relationship. You two are both too important to me to hurt either of you and the only way I can be sure I won't do that is to let both of you go."

Joey nodded, "It's ok. I understand, but I want you to understand that I'm not going anywhere. I'm never going to be too far away. If you need anything…even if it's just someone to talk to when Melinda is screaming at 2am, you call me." He gently took her hand and brought it to her lips. Kissing it quickly, he whispered, "Anything, anytime," and left the room.

Kelly brushed away the tears from her cheeks. This was harder than she'd imagined it would be. She looked over at John, who'd been silent since she'd spoken. "You ok?" she asked him.

"Yeah," he said quietly, "I won't lie and say I wish your answer had been different, but you know I'll respect anything you decide and it doesn't change the way I feel about you…or the way I feel about our little girl."

"I know," Kelly smiled at him. "That's why you mean so much to me. I never have to doubt that you'll be here. "

"You're right…you never have to wonder where I am…I'm always right here. So," he glanced down at his watch, "the doctor's should be finished with their stuff by now. What do you say we go see our daughter?"

Kelly smiled, "I think that sounds like a wonderful idea."

As John carefully helped Kelly back into the wheelchair, she caught his hand, "John," she said softly, "I want you to know something."

"Yeah," he said softly.

"I don't regret anything that happened…not anything." She looked up at him.

"Neither do I," he said, squeezing her hand, "Not for a second".

**The End**


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